My spiritual growth has been intensely personal to me. Early on I realized I was never going to be a highly respected leader, speaking the Word of God and knowing all the right answers...my ego was disappointed, my Soul was relieved. Reducing the ego, expanding my Soul has been the meat on the bone of my spiritual growth.
In my early years, I gave myself airs by calling me the Grandma Moses of spiritual growth, meaning stick figures and primary colors...no frills, no fancy, just gumboots and galoshes. Which has become my Way every step of the way.
Making peace with my own self required my acceptance of my ego...acceptance with love. There...a whole new field in play...acceptance with love has never come to me except by way of great suffering, which, who's kidding whom, is going for saving the face, showing the bum instead.
As my mentor taught me, "Showing our bum is also spiritual." And it is.
At some point, I know not when, my ego personalized itself to me. I saw her as a broken-down kewpie doll with too much rouge and an attitude, and I named her "Lucy" as in Lucy with the football. I could never take Lucy too seriously after that although she could, would and does talk to me whenever she wants to. I listen because to not is to resist her and that is to lose to her.
I've come to know that listening to my ego...resisting not, following not...is me, sitting in the silence, as God changes my mind. It is not immediate, it is not thunder and lightening...except when it is, but those times are too rare to rely on.
I am in the midst of this mind-changing and have been for...I know not how long, but a while. I am sharing with friends, picking out nits, shucking shields, and gutbucket knowing: I only aspired to be the Grandma Moses of spiritual growth back in the day. I'm not even near that today! Hey...another love it and laugh.
God loves me so much.
Thank you.
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