Apparently I am into more experiential learning right now, as in, I am experiencing yet again that I do not get to be There without feeling every nick and knock before actually doing the work on this newest rut in my road. I must experience the pain of each new crash-and-burn of an ego hold-out.
We learn early on that we must walk our new life...talking is all well and good for our spiritual education (and daily living), but until we're walking it without thinking whether to or not, we're still learning, so get grateful.
My experience today is just that...again. It's not new news, even while it feels like it is. We cannot avoid our next personal crash-and-burn by having read, studied, agreed with and even having done all that our lessons have taught us.
Aha, is it because our goal in all that studying was to learn how to avoid that very pain? That necessary pain!
My only recognized-by-me goal in life has been to have peace of mind. I remember first hearing the word "serenity" as something I could and would have. No doubt I cried for it makes no nevermind, good news, bad news, I am a crier, As per usual, however, I took it to mean I could and would have serenity period, end of thought.
The great gettin' up in the morning news for me is...I know serenity in my soul right now even as my reasoning mind is stuttering "Yes, but...." I know Gertrude for the angel in my life that I have been saying s/he is but now I know it because I am experiencing the crash-and-burn pain of my resistant interaction with him.
I bless my thoughts about her, I call his name blessed, and I welcome the crash-and-burn pain that I am experiencing even as I write the right words.
Love Hurts is not just an old pop tune.
Thank you.
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