Nothing gets between me and my God like physical pain...meaning, this morning it feels to me like God is asleep at the wheel or my faith in God is running on empty or any other clever little phrase that says, out loud and whiny: Where's God when I need him? Where's your vaunted power now, Old Man?
I've strained my back, I know not how, and I really do not care how. I want the pain to go away...stop...not exist in me. Now already. Now, if now were yesterday, last night all night, and/or immediately.
I ask for so little and I get so much less than I ask for...or why me, Lord? Also, how long, oh Lord?
Again, I'm getting the quiet word: What we want and what we need are two entirely different things. Which words are only comforting when we're passing them on to someone else.
Interesting that I'm remembering what I once smart-mouthed (in 1968!) to a hurting friend: No use crying over spilt milk, look for the silver lining, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow. Karma is a hard-driver...has no time limit...can and will exact her due.
I hope you're satisfied now, Big K, but I must say I thought I'd paid that off at least a gazillion times before. Oh, wait...no time limit. I'd best start reeling in all my snarks before I do serious harm into my next life.
I'm saying my thank you, a tish jaundiced, but I'm saying it.
Thank you.
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