On that night [Mahatma Gandhi] conquered his anger and vowed to resist injustice, not by violence or retaliation, but through the loving power of nonviolent resistance which elevates the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor.* * * Gandhi's example can apply in a small way in our own lives, when we decide to return goodwill for ill will, love for hatred, in the innumerable little acts of daily life. -- Eknath Easwaran, "Words to Live By," July 18
In 1997 a dear friend misinterpreted an action of mine. It took until 2010 for her to "see the error of her way," and apologize. During that time, she was rude, crude and inconsiderate toward me. It just so happens that during that time I was trying mightily to remember to do nonviolent resistance. I consciously did not respond in kind to her anger, I told her off in my mind...and learned that may be worse than speaking out, I turned the other cheek, reluctantly and silently saying thank you a lot. I learned.
Ah, but especially, the pearl beyond price that I learned: This lady is my angel. Her resistance is my spiritual learning tool. Without her resistance, I'd not be getting first-hand knowledge of how to actually do nonviolent resistance.
We remained friends...I'm guessing half through her attachment to her anger and half through my attachment to learning nonviolent resistance.
In 2010, for unknown-to-me reasons, she awoke. She invited me to dinner, and during dinner, she made a full explanation and apology for her misinterpretation and asked my forgiveness which of course I extended. (I admit that since I had not attached to her anger and had not responded in kind, it felt more like a "forget about it" to me.)
Update: For a year or so, I have been going through a less-than-wonderful patch...a dozen friends moving out of my life, my little guy going back to Heaven, teeth problems. Nothing seemed to be going in the right direction, but I kept on truckin'. Then, early last Thursday the truck broke down...I had a dark night of my soul. About which I shared with anyone who would listen.
My friend called the next Sunday, and I shared my harrowing 3:00 A.M. experience and lo! She gifted me with a mind balm to which I was all but struck mute. I am still....
It was in reading the Gandhi vignette this morning, that I realized her gift is the result of trying to learn and to do the nonviolent resistance which elevates the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor.
God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.
Thank you.
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