THE GIFT OF UNKNOWING

The more we know the more we know we don't know...reasoning mind weeps, Spirit exults.

Thank you.

THE PLACE WHERE GOD LIVES

The bar to acceptance for many of us is the fear that by accepting whatever we are resisting, we will make it true...that acceptance itself will make it true. We ignore the fact that whatever we are not wanting to be true is already a fact if only in our own mind, or how could we be resisting it?

Hard lesson learning: It is not accepting that makes our fear true.

Whatever we are resisting with all our heart, soul, body and brains...from addiction to he-doesn't-love-me to panic attacks...is kept alive by our obsessive attempts to make it not true. Leading us to overeat, drink, smoke, medicate which pushes her further away and brings on another panic attack.

The secret about acceptance is the minute we accept the truth of that which we are resisting, that changes it. 

We may not like it, but we are no longer resisting it. Which, if we're lucky, leads us to complete surrender, to crash and burn...also known as the place where God lives.

We surrender to the fact that we do not know, we do not know what we do not know, we are helpless in the face of that fact, and we need help. We turn to an unknown power greater than our self to find a way to live without our perceived heart's desire.

That is acceptance.

We do not know it at the time of surrender, but we will return here in our thoughts repeatedly for here is where our answers are...our answers to any and all problems, puzzles, secrets of life itself. Here in the ashes of self-will. Here...the place where God lives.

Thank you.

GOD'S CALLING! LISTEN! HEED! LOVE!

"God calling!" Once, way long ago when I was young, that's what I'd say when my phone rang. I delighted in saying it...singing it out loud, really. I'd just been given my book, God Calling, and those words made a home in my heart.

My blinding flash of the obvious this morning is when our ego starts doing our thinking for us, obsessing over the various "slings and arrows" niggling at our brain, instead of tending that, we can immediately say, "God calling." Gertrude's perfidy? Joe's insult? Herkimer's snub?..."God calling!"

Because It is! Each sling, each arrow, is God seeking to do our thinking for us. To lift us out of our own solution into his perfect solution...which is always and ever love. It isn't as if our solution, responding in kind to Gertrude, Joe and Herkimer, has worked for us. All that got is them responding in kind to our responding in kind...and the beat(ing) goes on.

The single only thing in this world stopping us from loving in a loveless place is wanting to. What place needs love more? That loveless place is within us, begging for the love we already have but fear using lest we show our need for love. The only way we are ever going to realize the limitless love we already have is to use it...give it away...sling it with the arrows. Be a "Cupid," open and transparent, as opposed to a "Stupid," closed and opaque. There is no God there.

Stop the runaway train. Get off. God's calling. Listen...heed...love.

Thank you.

THERE IS NO CHEAP SPIRITUAL GROWTH

My long-ago blinding flash of the obvious taunts me: We can't get that which we already have, and we can't realize we have it until we give it away. ("It" being, specifically, love, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness...all the goodies.)

Is it the results we get when we use those goodies that trip us up? That seems to be my current problem with the Sermon. I agree with my adversary quickly...and my adversary mistakes my agreement for weakness. S/He promptly doubles down, going from, in my ever-so-humble opinion, a borderline jerk to a horse's patoot.

It is hard to remember that the answer...still...is to agree with my adversary quickly. It's probably not as hard to remember as it is to want to do it...I can remember, but for what? being the blinding flash of the obvious then. The answer, of course, is for still more spiritual growth.

"Pay me now or pay me later." Meaning, if we're serious about seeking still more spiritual growth, we do now that which we need to do to grow spiritually...or we do it later, and always, without fail, 100 percent of the time, it is harder later.

So s/he doubles down...I can think "thank you, God, for this opportunity to grow with you" and let God speak. He can and he will...I know this because on the too few occasions that I've given over to him, he has...he has used my mouth and my voice to speak kind words, words that I had no idea were coming.

There. That's the solution to my "problem with the Sermon." Feel the resistance and do it anyway. Kiss it on the lips and do it anyway. There is no cheap spiritual growth.

Thank you.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

[The following is a reprint of my blog of December 22, 2011.]

Unconditional love is just like hugs…you cannot get, you can only give…with which, you get.

Unconditional love is loving your enemy as yourself…your enemy is whatever/whomever is vexing you at the moment.

Unconditional love is not self-determined-objective attainable…you must go through God. But it helps that you have the objective of attaining unconditional love when you go to God, with a simple thank you.

Thank you.

OUR PROBLEM...OUR PERFECT GIFT

Blinding flash of the obvious: God does not fix problems. He helps us to see our problem through his eyes...and it becomes then our perfect gift.

In God's world, there is never a problem to be fixed. God's world is love...love of any and all peoples, things, places, situations...perceived, feared and/or imagined. Humanity's tendency is toward fear and hate...probably because humans are usually driven by their ego. Ego's only concern is self and how to protect it.

To stay focused on God and the things of God keeps us in alignment with God's will...we resist that at our peril. Which is a high-falutin way of saying resist that and we're back into self will, praying for God to give over to our ego and bring us God's perfect outcome. God does not fix problems. He helps us to see our problem through his eyes...and it becomes then our perfect gift.

Thank you.

...THAT IT SHOULD TAKE PLACE IN ME

We are celebrating the feast of the Eternal

Birth which God the Father has borne and

never ceases to bear in all Eternity. . . . But if

it takes not place in me, what avails it?

Everything lies in this, that it

should take place in me.
Meister Eckhart

Thank you.

THE TRAP OF THE LITERAL TRUTH

"Literalism is invariably the lowest and least level of meaning," according to Fr. Richard Rohr. Which reminds me of the point made in The Cloud of Unknowing, written by an unknown 14th century monk, to "be wary of the overly scrupulous."

In my experience, the overly scrupulous are well defended in their thoughts, in their words...ready to fight in a heartbeat at even a question of their perceived facts. Per Rohr again, "Overly defended people do not change, grow, or 'realize' anything that does not confirm their illusions."

I often think that scrupulosity is the "blankie" to the intellectually self-sufficient, or probably it's the intellectually insecure. Scrupulosity...that mindset married to the literal truth, whereby any variation is not only wrong, but a lie.

The overly scrupulous remind me of what English poet W. H. Auden wrote in Apropos of Many Things: "We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the present and let our illusions die."

There. That's me putting on airs...I've never read W.H. Auden in my life, but I came across the quote and it fits. Personally, I just think,  "Oh, get over yourself for cryin' out loud." That fits, too.

Thank you.

HOW TO LIVE "PEACE ON EARTH"

The change that the Sermon asks us to make is simply to be the first to give over, be the last to take offense. When we have differences, the great canard is that we just need to talk it over. It is seldom...rare, in fact...that talking it over sets both parties free.

Talking is a useful, maybe essential, first step. It is what we do when talking goes south that matters.

There is an old saying, "You can't unring a bell." Neither can we unsay that which we didn't say in the first place! The hard lesson learning is we have no control over how we are heard. Nor how s/he interpreted what s/he heard. Talk about a wrecking ball. Wrecking friendships through words that were never said, intentions that were skewed by self-perception unrelated to original meaning.

The fix, then, is not to just talk about it, but to accept that we need to change our perspective. Specifically, we need to remember that we are in the wrong, too. 

"So if someone hurts you and you are sore, you are in the wrong, too" is part of a spiritual axiom that is worth trying to live by. It links perfectly with "agree with your adversary quickly," the Sermon's great gift.

There. That's my goal...to remember if someone hurts me and I am sore, I am in the wrong, too, so that then I can agree with my adversary quickly. 

Think about it...if all parties know this, there will be no disagreements to begin with. So I say let's bring this giftee into our consciousness...and live peace on earth.

Thank you.

TRUTH MUST BE PROVEN

We must prove Truth.

We can have our favorite affirmations, repeat them till our face falls off, but until we prove them, they are just so many words.

I love "He goes before me to make the crooked places straight." That's from somewhere in the Bible. The trouble is when we're standing at the wrong end of a crooked place, or we're at the edge of a never-land chasm, our reasoning mind too often tells us God is not available. Period.

The logic being if God were going to make this crooked place straight...why hasn't he? It's still here, and we've got to walk it or leap into it or...do it our self, to be blunt. So we decide we never really wanted that anyway and quit...or we need a pill/a joint/a drink to calm us down or build us up, and we turn that way.

The not-quite-bright part is when the next difficulty arises, we say our affirmation, "He goes before me to make the crooked places straight," and know we're lying. Because he doesn't if we don't get out of his way! As in, if we quit. Or rely on an ersatz god to do our feeling for us.

We must prove our truth. It is only by risking our all that we learn after the fact that there was no risk. God does the proving, and he uses our hands and feet, our body and brains to do it. We just need to hold our nose and take a leap of faith to prove it.

Thank you.

A SHAKY BUT SINCERE THANK YOU

I believe that no problem has the power to defeat us if we will upgrade our attitude about it. The humbling part is that we cannot upgrade our attitude all on our own...as a self-determined objective. We can try but we will fail...beat our breasts, wail...give up...try again. Several times. It is our own self-will that finally must fold.

A friend of mine told me of his awful what-to-do panicky morning. He was facing an enormous challenge at work, and there was no apparent good outcome for him.

On the way to work, he ran into a group of friends with whom he had coffee, and they talked about his situation. He went on to work with an uplifted spirit. The work problem remained exactly the same, but his attitude about it had been upgraded, and he was freed. Freed from the bondage of self.

Is that the only real bondage there is...the bondage of self? The gazillion what about mes?...what ifs? The future garbage that sends otherwise rational people to an early grave or a desire for it...or their medicine cabinets. God, who?

I'm guessing we all have what-to-do panicky mornings no matter how deep our spiritual growth. The trick is to limit the time we give to that panic, that self-centered fear that, given into, walks, talks and cries like a baby in our own head.

Changing our attitude...changing our mind. It takes a minimal amount of time...a heartbeat...to turn our thoughts toward God. It is our ego that links up with fear that we must needs detach from. It only has as much power as we give it, but when we give it an inch we have given it our all.

The paradox is that all we need do to detach is to kiss it on the lips. Resist it not, by a shaky but sincere "thank you," and God has us in his arms again. We know it and we show it.

Thank you.

MOVE ON ALREADY

It was Saint Augustine who said, "What I needed most was to love and be loved. I rushed headlong into love, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me, and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers of jealousy, suspicions and fear, by bursts of anger and quarrels."

It was that same Saint Augustine who is reported to have said he expected to be feeling lust three day after he was dead.

The most important word...I'm talking vitally important...in both of those quotes is the word "Saint."

The man was canonized, lifted up, sainted...by the Catholic Church! That's the same church all the p.o.'d Catholics use to justify their bad behavior...the rest of us use our mothers.

In our youth no doubt the majority of us felt the need to love and be loved, not having a clue what to love or to be loved meant. In fact, it was usually lust. But as we aged, lust gave over to other things to get hung up by...most of them leading to the rues, regrets and remorses we suffer from today.

And that's the point. Saint Augustine suffered the same pangs, pains and pitfalls...why do we hold ours so dear and feel so hopeless of ever overcoming them? Why not accept, just as the Saint did, that we may well have these till three days after we're dead?

I mean, who's kidding whom? If we could have removed them, we would have by now. I say we fall to our knees and thank God  Almighty it's not a lot worse, quitcherbitchin' and move on.

A less than spiritually uplifting message at Christmastime...but my truth nonetheless.

Thank you.

A PRAYER FOR ALL

"Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." -- Anonymous to me

Thank you.

GO BEOND REASON TO LOVE

[The following is a reprint of my blog of July 31, 2008.]

I don’t recall ever truly letting go of any resentment I’ve held of another by praying for them. The very prayer keeps me focused on the wrong as a fact.

I pray for my thoughts about that person…for my heart to be changed, upgraded, toward that person. And in that prayer, I accept the responsibility for letting go of the resentment…that’s when I’m working toward aligning my will with God’s will. Just that slight change of focus, from looking through my eyes at how I’ve been wronged to looking through God’s eyes to peace, takes my thoughts off the resentment, my real problem.

In my idea of a perfect world, I’d only have to do that once, and voila! I’m resentment free. Unfortunately, my resentments are always justified, I am right, and you are wrong. To get free of me takes persistence, sharing my petty problem with another (risking their agreement that this is really petty), and plain old willingness to simply change my mind (an extremely difficult act for me).

But the incredible freedom, the wrap-my-heart-around-it joy, that comes from going beyond reason to love…an impossible get when one is into winning through another’s losing, no matter what the cause.

Thank you.

TO KNOW GENUINE LOVE

More and more I am believing that life's second most important lesson is all about forgiveness.

Easwaran writes "if you do not learn how to love, everywhere you go you are going to suffer." Ah, and there's our paradox. It is that suffering that we come to treasure for, as has been written, "pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth," and there is no pain without suffering. In my world at any rate.

Suffering almost without fail comes with someone else's name on it as the cause. And there s/he is...our angel. The one we must forgive just exactly as she presents herself to us...precisely as we translate his actions and/or words as personal. Disrespectful in a word.

That does not mean forgive him but never forget. No. It means forgive her and let it go...hug the ugly, kiss it on the lips, and wave it good-bye.

That's how we come to know pain as the touchstone of all spiritual growth for this is a painful process. What a shock it is when we realize it is painful to our ego...and that is all. The more we dress it up in order to validate our hurt ("my heart was pierced"), the tighter we hold to our ego's rule.

Forgive, i.e., go to God for God. In that moment of transcendent surrender, we are stripped of our need to hurt or be hurt. We give over and we know genuine love.

Thank you.

OUR JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN

Again I am reminded that we open ourselves not to let God in, but to let God out.

I used to think that we were sent out to find God. Today I believe that we were sent out to meet our many selves and to forgive each of them. The big uh-oh comes when we learn that we, by our unaided will, are incapable of forgiving...that is a Joint Venture with us not in the lead.

To me, that's when we discover our Rosetta Stone, or message board, for our many lives. A message, each one pointing to the same place, for each and every individual born of this earth. We each must needs find our own message which is the key that unlocks the seal within, releasing the God of our own understanding. It cannot be unlocked by our thinking, talking, or doing even...but we must think, talk and do to ever fully get that.

It is in that transcendent moment of surrender of self...that pinpoint in infinity where self will is not...that our own Self is unsealed.

Fileted like a fish. Freed. In grateful pain. Yet we know we have made our U-bie, we are heading home. Sing Hallelujah1 Shout Amen, praise the Lord and free at last! Our real journey has begun.

Thank you.

NOT FOR ME, BUT FOR THEE

Fr. Richard Rohr made a slight mention this morning about marriage and child rearing. It translated in my mind to mentoring...Some people are called to mentor. It's the surest path to death of the ego, if you really allow your mentoring to mirror you, revealing your ordinary and weak self, and also helping you to experience unconditional love.

Interestingly, I picked up another book and read,  "...he does his deed well who does it rather for the common good than for his own will." 

Blinding flash of the obvious: The gift is to get over myself with her/him, not for myself but for the benefit of others. Others I may not even know...to emit vibrations of love, forgiveness and peace to be received by whomever, wherever. We need never be consciously aware who receives our forgiveness vibrations for the whole world needs love.

Conquer self...all good within will thus be unblocked and will flow out to others and will return with twelve bushels full left over.

Thank you.

THE FIGHT TO GIVE UP THE FIGHT

It seems to me that everything comes down to the doing...how well am I living it, walking it, breathing it? "It" being the spiritual life...the thinking of others first life. The one where we give over to another even...and especially...when we know we're right. Learning the difference between caving in and agreeing with exceptions. Ah, there's the nut. Agreeing with exceptions, also known as, disagreeing agreeably.

That's the one that makes believers out of hard-core atheists because, according to me, it cannot be done relying on self-will alone. Just knowing we want to, setting our mind to "just do it," gritting our teeth and lip-synching nice-nice often get us a face full of hateful and, lately, a middle-finger salute into the bargain.

The most important words, and the pearl beyond price, in that paragraph are "relying on self-will alone." For it can be done, that agreeing with exceptions. It can be done when we rely on the God of our own understanding...the God to whom we have given our will, or our life's "I want" list.

Not very long ago I ran into a problem with a friend, and I consciously decided to trust God and move forward. In effect, I held my nose and took a leap of faith...I did not cave, I agreed with exceptions. Our entire friendship changed...for the better, and we are having a much more fun friendship today.

I am in the midst of an almost identical situation, and, even with my recent experience, I am having the devil's own time just wanting to trust God and give over.

I will...my own self-chosen penalties make that determination. It's just a hoot that I'm still in it to win it...a phrase that is overused and under-attained.

That, though, is what makes life so interesting, never boring, exciting, in fact. The fight to give up the fight. Another reminder to love and laugh...and letting go will follow.

Thank you.

RESIGNATION IS NOT ACCEPTANCE

Our life's joy...our daily life's joy...comes once we have turned our will over to the care of God. Our life will follow if and when we do that. Our turned-over will becomes our perpetual pearl beyond price for we now are free to lead a God-guided life.

It takes time to learn to trust unto living that guided life. Too often we refuse to use the boatload of patience we were born with and opt for self-will. That's just part of our learning curve.

Just yesterday someone said she thought she was accepting too much and doing too little. In my world, there is no way to be accepting too much...resigning oneself is not acceptance. Doing too little is often a temptation...especially if we've asked God what to do, what to do, and he's remained mute to our ears. It never enters our mind that we need to move on from that question, that self-perceived problem...it's been taken care of, it's just not our time to know how yet.

Eknath Easwaran recommends withdrawing our attention completely from the problem...stay pinpoint focused on now: "When we can withdraw our attention completely from the past [or the future], it is not possible to get resentful, it is not possible to be oppressed by mistakes in our past, no matter who made them. All our attention is in the present, which makes every moment fresh, every relationship fresh."

A turned-over life is a God-guided life and all we need ponder is peace, love and joy. Being human, we'll wander off into the ether but that, too, we get to accept as our learning curve. That's what self-discipline is for.

Thank you.

THE TIME OF TRUMP FORETOLD

My joy is gone, grief is upon me,
    my heart is sick.
Hark, the cry of my poor people
    from far and wide in the land:
“Is the Lord not in Zion?
            —Jeremiah 8:18-19a

The time of Trump foretold...or by the prickling of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.

On the other hand...and there is always another hand...there can never be just one side of a coin or a story. The flip side of the time of Trump then is: This is the time the Lord has made. Let us relax and be happy in it. [My paraphrase.] 

There is nothing outside the realm of our Lord...what takes place within the realm is ours to perfect by finding our Lord there.

Thank you.

IT TAKES A LIFETIME

We cannot directly fight or separate ourselves from evil or untruth. -- Fr. Richard Rohr

There. That is a pure fact that we need to remember in order to stay focused on still more spiritual growth...on God. The word "directly" is the key.

In general, to attempt to repair a cracked relationship by talking about it is to break it completely. Mainly because our ego-based reasoning mind always legislates for itself.

We must go within our self to examine our soul in search of our wrong for it is our wrong that must needs be corrected. Our ego only sees outward...will only see you...will only recognize your wrongs as the source of the problem. And whatever the other is exhibiting, we will respond in kind...with both correctly identifying the problem while thinking it belongs solely to the other.

I don't believe freedom from that tangle can be done in a single sit-down think-through, write a little, pray a little session. It is a lifetime work. For our reasoning mind is ever with us, and our ego is reliant on and complicit with it.

Freedom comes through surrender...losing in a word. This is psychically painful. Which, according to me, hurts way more than physical pain. It is psychical pain that brings on our "dark night of the soul," which, we find after, is essential for still more spiritual growth.

According to me, there is no "the" dark night, there are as many dark nights of the soul as we need individually and personally in order to gain release from the self-protection that our ego promises. In other words, for us to get over ourselves.

That's why it takes a lifetime.

That's also why we need to remember that God is with us 24/7 always and all ways.

Thank you.

NOT TO GET, BUT TO GIVE

In my ongoing search to quit taking myself so seriously, I thanked God for any tidbits he'd like to throw my way. And I heard: "Not to get, but to give...to release self for the benefit of another."

I'd like to think that'll take the rest of my life doing, but who's kidding whom? At my age, I expect that's for the rest of this life and way into my next one...and very likely the one beyond that.

Once again, I find my sliver of gold...I know I'm on the right track, heading in the right direction. And I am grateful.

The grace of gratitude bathes my battered mind...and even my ego feels relief.

Thank you.

IN THE STRUGGLE FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS

I am convinced that the universe is under the control of a loving purpose and that in the struggle for righteousness man has cosmic companionship. --Martin Luther King, Jr.

The most important words to me in King's quote are "in the struggle for righteousness."

Who knew it would be such a struggle to just do the right thing? And I'm talking the simple right thing, the non-complex right thing...like not only keeping one's mouth shut but getting our thoughts in line, too. In line spiritually...in line with goodness.

I wonder if divorcing myself from my own opinions isn't simply letting go of my own judgments? And why in the world would I use "simply" there? That's a judgment aborning because there is no simply about letting go of anything. According to me.

At the root of our opinions isn't there usually a human face...that "other" that we're itching to set straight? Whatever else would we make judgments on that we awake at 2:00 PM regretting? I mean, I've never woke up regretting my judgment about climate change....about the congressman who argues there is no such thing, yes. And there it is...I do not for a minute regret sitting in judgment of that fool one. There's my struggle for righteousness.

God's got his work cut out for me if we're going to purify my thoughts.

Thank you.

LOVE EXTENDED UNTO INFINITY

 The gift of darkness draws you to know God’s presence beyond what thought, imagination, or sensory feeling can comprehend. - Fr. Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation" of October 14, 2015

You are never angry for the reason that you think. - Anonymous (meaning I can't remember which of my many reads this comes from) 

You must go beyond reason to love. -  "The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment" by Thaddeus Golas

Those three ideas, if practiced faithfully, could change the world...according to me. I believe that because they continue to change me and thus my world. 

I list them in reverse order of learning because they are so interconnected from bottom to top with room at the top for more to be added.

If I'd never connected with the necessity to go beyond reason to love, I couldn't have heard that I am never angry for the reason that I think which opened my mind to darkness as a gift, confirming that which I had come to believe.

The interconnecting link, of course, is that each requires our looking within, changing our mind, divorcing our self from our own opinions. In a nutshell, finding the other innocent...which, paradoxically, lets us walk free in our own head.

Love extended is love returned tenfold...a hundredfold...unto infinity.

Thank you.

ANGELS IN DISGUISE

I shall keep the silence of my heart with greater care, so that in the silence of my heart I hear His words of comfort, and from the fullness of my heart I comfort Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor. For in the silence and purity of the heart God speaks. -- Mother Teresa

What a concept...the distressing disguise of the poor.

What if all the ills of the world at any time and in any place are simply distressing disguises seeking God? To resist them in kind is to nurture them...to grow them stronger, meaner, more ours.

Instead of searching for the strongest, toughest, meanest human to beat all the ills that are before our eyes right this very minute, what if we acknowledged them as our own distressing disguises? Disguises that we have birthed, disguises that can be overcome only by seeing them through God's eyes...with love and gratitude.

We can be grateful that we have finally brought ourselves to our knees in complete defeat. There we can finally accept that God can and will expose them for the angels they are. Angels in disguise.

Thank you.

THROW IN WITH GOD

It is reasonably obvious that one is not required to be a member of a church, synagogue, mosque, spiritual fellowship, or any formal anything to live a spiritually based life.

What isn't so obvious, and may only be my belief, is that living a spiritually based life is as near to a guarantee for peace of mind as it is possible to get. By living I mean utter dependence on a personal Power of Love, a power for good and good alone...with our reasoning mind always coming in second. I mean living it.

If that would be so, then it follows that each of us would be individually responsible for making that guarantee breathe in our life. Each making the decision to throw in 100 percent with the God of our own understanding. That then would be our life's journey...if our heart's desire is for peace, love and joy.

I'm guessing what we would find in choosing that path is we would be relieved of concern for our own self, for our nickels, dimes and dollars, head colds. and old age. We would be wholly involved with helping others...with God turning foes into friends and friends into family.

If we would but try, I'm betting we'd find ourselves feeling like a kid again...like rolling around on a carpet of green, green grass the day before school's out, anticipating the joy...with friends, foes, family and Ruckus right there, laughing and scratching.

My God rocks.

Thank you.

IN THE END, ALL THAT MATTERS....

[The following is a reprint from my blog of December 29, 2009.]

“In the end, all that matters is what you have done for Christ.”

Some years ago, I saw that message, framed, picture-like, at the home of a lovely lady who was my mother’s friend.

I’ve thought of that message over the years, and it becomes truer to me as I open my mind to it…true for all, when one realizes “for Christ” as for God, for Allah, for Buddha, for Mohammad, for Jehovah, for Mary, for Self, for the Great Spirit, for….

In the end, all that matters is what you have done…selflessly…for others.

Thank you.

ON BEING OFF THE SPIRITUAL BEAM

Three truths to know unto believing, unto living: 

1. Every time we are upset, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.
2. When someone hurts us, makes us sore, we are in the wrong, too. 
3. When someone steps on our toes, seemingly without provocation, invariably we find that we have made a decision based on self that later placed us in a position to be hurt.

I wrote of  the above three truths recently...here's the rest of the story as I know it for me: If, when we read "...there is something wrong with us" or  "...we are in the wrong, too," we start digging into our personal thinking, feeling, doing, being, we are going down that wrong road again.

The "wrong" we're in is that we are off the spiritual beam. We can only get back on that beam by going to God for God and that is all.

Relying on our reasoning mind to get back on the beam, we stay with our self-determined objective of fixing our self. That way invariably leads to victimhood because we are of two minds: One, we're angry/hurt that we've been wronged, and two, we truly want to figure out how, apparently, God thinks we're in the wrong because we've been wronged.

All we need do to get back on the spiritual beam is to remember to say and to mean, "Thy will, not mine, be done. I'd rather have your will done in my life than my will...always and all ways." We can then understand that the only thing being asked of us is that we give up our desire for self-satisfaction. That is the perfect objective which is of God which I doubt we ever attain...to our own satisfaction.

Thank you.

BEAUTIFUL AND BOUNTIFUL

The first time my friend Natalie saw the Grand Canyon she had a blinding flash of the obvious: "All that grandeur is within me." I love that, and I go there often in my mind.

I think of the Grand Canyon and, say, the Grand Coulee Dam. Both marvels...one a marvel of nature, the other a marvel of man.

Here's my blinding flash of the obvious...it took Nature thousands upon thousands of years to make the Grand Canyon, which is still a work in progress, and it only has beautiful and bountiful side benefits.

It took man several years to build the likes of the Grand Coulee Dam which has daily upkeep but is essentially finished, and the unintended consequences of that and other dams are devastating.

That's the difference between a self-driven life and a God-driven life. God's way takes longer, but the unintended consequences are beautiful and bountiful for all, self and others.

Thank you.

FILLED WITH THAT QUIET JOY

The healing magic of laughter is my everything. Specifically, laughter at my own self. God sent us out at birth with two separate but equal gifts...free will and laughter. Maybe our life's job is returning that free will to God and laughing at our self-willed attempts to do it.

I'm a believer there are certain life-truths that, if accepted unto living them, will make our life joyful...not, repeat NOT, easy. If it seems easy, chances are we're lying.

[I've found these truths in some form in every spiritual tract I've read, which admittedly is not a great number but to find a couple of anything from different religions that are in agreement passes my low standard. The three as set out here are from my favorite spiritual literature...my favorites because they are written for the likes of me...short, to the point, and easy to understand.]

Three truths to know unto believing, unto living: 

1. Every time we are upset, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.
2. When someone hurts us, makes us sore, we are in the wrong, too. 
3. When someone steps on our toes, seemingly without provocation, invariably we find that we have made a decision based on self that later placed us in a position to be hurt.

There. Those three simple guides are difficult beyond imagining because they ask only that we give up our desire to keep our self feeling safe, secure, happy and better than you.

If and when we give up our preoccupation with self, we will know a quiet joy. We will know it and we will show it. And we will begin to heal, to become One with the universe, God itself.

According to me.

And I am nowhere near living a life filled with that quiet joy all of the time. I do, however, know I am heading in the right direction because I live there some of the time. There. Knowing my life's journey is on the right track is the pearl beyond price.

Thank you.

THE SECRET GARDEN OF GOD

...you have to let God reveal your real faults to you, usually by falling many times, and by other people's opinions of you. -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," November 29, 2015

The secret garden of God fits on the point of a pin, is within, and is nearly always only  accessible through our own falling and failing.

Every time we have a disagreement with another, we are in conflict with our Source within, our own Self. Until we get right with our Self, we will project our failings onto the other and call her responsible...obsessing on ways to hurt him the way we're hurting and/or to apologize for our hurt.

We waste so much mental, physical and spiritual energy trying to fix our own feelings so we can feel good about our self, and we do it by thinking of ways to hurt another...setting her straight, making him pay.

There is that secret garden within each of us that we can go to and in that instant be free. Finding that garden must needs be our singular search. All else is self on parade.

Thank you.

ON WELCOMING UNDESERVED SUFFERING

Voluntary acceptance of undeserved suffering.

I am coming to believe that we will never know peace until we can voluntarily accept undeserved suffering. Our reasoning mind rises in righteous indignation before those words have finished coming to mind, before our eyes have finished reading the words on the page.

They do not make sense to the reasoning mind, the ego-driven reasoning mind, and, on that basis alone, must be rejected. And yet, those who are serious about still more spiritual growth, and the getting of same, must needs come into agreement with those very words and the meaning behind those words.

There are in the world the likes of Etty Hillesum (who died at Auschwitz in 1943) who are the embodiment of undeserved suffering. Then there's you and me. Our undeserved suffering is pretty much getting our feelings hurt by a loved one when we did not do a single thing to deserve it (according to our own ego-centered mind).

The extraordinarily hard lesson to learn unto doing is the necessity of keeping the focus on our own self. A book of spiritual principles that I follow teaches that when someone does something that makes us sore we are in the wrong, too...and there's the answer: Stay focused on our own self, not on him or her and how s/he hurt us oh so deeply. Because the more we ponder our hurt, the hurter we feel. So we react in kind.

It is only when we ponder the whys and wherefores of our own actions, our own reactions, that we begin to find the necessary spiritual light to see from another angle not our own.

God can and will lovingly clarify our vision if we seek his aid without our ego dictating terms. If we hold onto one iota of self-preservation, we're on our own, and s/he really is wrong. Oops. Another friendship done gone wrong.

Thank you.

LETTING GO...THINK OF IT!

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it. -- Psalm 127

There. That is exactly why, with spiritual growth, the difference between the right way and the wrong way is "the difference between a self-determined objective and the perfect objective which is of God."

Even if the objective is good, beautiful, wholly acceptable in our own eyes, and in the eyes of others, we must know as we breathe, that it is as dust if the Lord's hand is not in it.

Think of all the things that we saw heading our way that we prayed would pass us by. Then on arrival, or at some point thereafter, they became to us obvious gifts from God. Then ponder the things we prayed for...and got!..and bemoaned ever after.

We can never out-think God. His up may very well be our down and/or vice versa. All we are asked to do is accept that. Why is that so easy to preach and so hard to do? The very question causes us to stop and think about it... and there we go, down that wrong road again.

And God loves us anyway. Think of it!

Thank you.

KISS IT ON THE LIPS

[The following is a reprint of my blog of November 25, 2008.]

I like the duality of “everything happens by invitation only” and “you have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.”

It has been helpful to me to remember, when I’m in conflict with another, that I’ve made a decision based on self that has placed me in this conflict…that I have invited exactly what is taking place. Which is not to say that I knew exactly what I was inviting…my intentions were no doubt wonderful in my mind’s eye.

I’m reminded of a country western song that was popular in the Austin, TX, area way back in my teens. It was a very funny song, all about body parts we asked for and what we got. I regret I only remember one line, but that one line tells it all: ”When they were passing out noses, I thought they said roses, and I said, ‘I’ll have a big red one!’”

Well, that’s how I view the end result of my decisions based on self…what was I thinking? And I usually find some lovely-sounding (usually care-taking) goal I had in mind…that was not wanted, was not needed and was not appreciated by the other person.

On the other hand, “You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” the promise made in John 15:16, gives me much comfort. The responsibility of choosing God is not on me…if I can complicate a free lunch, you know what I’d do with the responsibility of choosing God. I’d never feel good enough, prepared enough…just plain enough.

I rest in the fact that He has chosen me. It is now mine to work with Him to make of myself, through spiritual principles, a happy representative of Him. Keeping in mind that what I see is always myself, so it is up to me to find the beauty in whatever comes my way.

I want to be prepared to kiss it on the lips whatever “it” appears to be…for if it is appearing, it is for my eventual good, a great incentive to find the beauty.

Thank you.

THE GIFT OF SOUL DARKNESS

I'm beginning to believe that the fear of anxiety is the corroder of the world today. Actual anxiety itself, once you're in it, can only last a minor amount of time. I once knew exactly how long the experts say an anxiety attack lasts...a short while to the experts, way too long to the one in it.

It is in trying to hold off anxiety, however, that the fear of anxiety rules, and eventually brings on what has been called "the dark night of the soul."

According to me, the gift of soul darkness is the very darkness itself. We cannot see; there is only black...terrified, utterly alone, no answers, hopeless, helpless, even our ego is vulnerable. Now that is fear, when the ego deserts us.

The paradox, of course, is it is the ego's desertion that brings both our darkest point and the divine U-bie. It is in reaching that darkest depth that our decision is made...to turn toward the light.

The darkness is proof that we cannot save our self. We've tried evasiveness, half-truths, obfuscation...bald-faced lies. We've even tried telling the truth! The problem being, the truth we've told is the truth as we saw it, knew it, allowed it to be. For sure, we've gone to any length...for self. To save our self as we believed we needed to be saved.

And there is the dreadful gift...choosing to be left to our self, we do not know, and we do not know that we do not know, and we crash and burn. It is the flames from that burn, however, that light the way for the God of our own understanding to lift us, love us, guide us toward freedom from self.

The gift of darkness draws you to know God’s presence beyond what thought, imagination, or sensory feeling can comprehend.  -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," October 14, 2014

Thank you.

WE ARE ALL ONE

Thank you, God, for this day, for our everything just as it is right this very minute.

Thank you God in Buddha, in Mohammad, in Jehovah, in Allah, in Emmanuel, in Christ Jesus, in Joseph Smith and the angel Maroni, in the Great Father and the True Mother, and in all other known and unknown representatives of the Lord to any and all peoples of the world, thank you for teaching us that there are only two sins: first, to not know that we are all One and, second, to know but not show that we are all One.

Thank you.

THE SHINY ACORN VS. THE MIGHTY OAK

We each have a choice about our life...we can be like a highly polished acorn or we can be like a mighty oak.

The shiny acorn learns some spiritual principles. Relearns them. Quotes them. Teaches them to others. Its mouth moves faster than a speeding bullet with the exactly right spiritual principle to apply to anybody's problem any time.

We acorns who are highly polished with a shiny gloss look good and sound better!

Then comes the day we have a need to apply a spiritual principle to our own bleeding heart. We think pretty thoughts, we say high-flown platitudes...all the things we've been preaching for years. We come up empty, and we know fear.

That acorn, opened, has insides that are fallow from non-use. There is no God there.

The mighty oak learns spiritual principles. Uses those spiritual principles in every day life. We oaks never stop learning spiritual principles because the more we use them, the deeper their roots go into our soul. Meanings change, guiding us deeper to a higher level. Others benefit from our spiritual growth without our ever being aware of that.

We mighty oaks grow ever stronger...maybe misshapen to the naked eye, a tish thick around the middle, a little top heavy, but we're growing within and without. With never a conscious thought (for that's God's part), we're releasing acorns regularly to take root and grow.

There is the source of peace, love and joy...living for others, seeing others take root and grow. Life is all about others, and God is there.

Thank you.

TO THE CLOUD!

I find it interesting that we send things to "the cloud" today...and having said that I've said all I know about sending things to "the cloud."

What interests me is that is the same sense I've used for years in letting go of my attack thoughts. I've sent them to the cloud (what I called "to my angels") rather than, say, to the dungeon because it sounds kinder. I figure the last thing nasty needs is more nasty. I have learned to treat those thoughts gently only because cursing them and me, beating me and them, does nothing but grow them meaner and me weaker.

I've named those thoughts "Franny the Brat." I know all Franny wants is attention...good, loving or bad and nasty, makes no never mind to Franny the Brat. Just ATTENTION. Me, first. Hey, here I am, look at me. Take my advice...quote me. With rues, regrets and remorses following, starting the whole cycle again.

I know all too well that I can get those attack thoughts back any time I want them, so I thank God that I'll never need them...want them is on me.

I hug them, I kiss them, I let them go...to the cloud! Or, to the moon, Alice! Whichever...as long as we love and laugh.

Thank you.

BE PRESENT AND KNOW GOD

Here's what I believe: When Jesus was given the choice of dying on the cross, he prayed for that choice to pass on by. It did not, and he made his decision to go all in with God...to die on the cross, to be crucified dead and buried.

According to me, it was that decision that rocketed him into the 4th (or 5th or higher) dimension, and he went through all his trials, pain and terror with God carrying him and his pain and terror...he knew naught of them. He knew God.

I choose to believe that is how Daniel Pearl, et al., got through their beheadings, and that is how I get through my poor, pitiful and puny anxiety attacks that feel so pain filled and terror ridden.

That's the reason I believe going all in with God rather than "better living through chemistry" is the sane choice. Where was Daniel Pearl going to go to get a Xanax? He could think "God" and BINGO! There's God.

God is with us always and all ways. We're the ones not present.

Thank you.

GO ALL IN OR IT'S ALL TALK

All the knowledge in the world...all the wonderful how-to-grow-spiritually-in-an-unspiritual-world...all the love we have within us, which is all the love there is...is useless if we do not live it. Think, feel, do...be it.

Forgiveness is not forgiveness if we don't forget that which we say we've forgiven. Love is not love if we only use a little at a time...or if we only love 90 percent. Kindness isn't kindness if we believe we have a choice in the matter. Forgiveness, kindness, love...we either go all in or we're all talk.

Who isn't sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous when being gifted with the same? It's the selection process that has to go...thinking we can go to God all loved, lovable and loving, on a three-legged pony, will not do it.

Unless we carry the pony. For the pony's sake.

Thank you.

THE STATE OF UNKNOWING

[The following is a reprint of my blog of November 29, 2008.]

It is in the state of unknowing where I rest…in the assurance that the Spirit within me does, and is doing, Its perfect work…always and all ways.

Thank you.

LISTEN...THEN DO

I love finding my handwritten notes that I've written in my daily readers. No matter what year I wrote them, they nearly always are exactly right for me that day. For instance, in today's "God Calling," I noted in 2007: Practice living love by loving adversity the same as no adversity.

Yesterday's note, dated 1997, was a reminder not to be talking forgiveness, thinking vengeance.

Don't tell me God doesn't speak directly to us. All we must needs do is listen...then do.

Thank you.

SECRETS AND SAND DUNES

I am deeply shaken. Secrets, the bane of life itself.

I've learned of a friend's secret which feels like a complete betrayal of me and all I've shared with her. She keeps secrets, and I never realized it...until recently. Then she let slip her secret of something she stole from me. I don't really mind that she has it, I care beyond words that she did it in secret...and does not seem to have a clue that her behavior is hurtful.

I'm reminded of the cat that does her business in a sand box, covers it up and calls it a sand dune. It is not...it is a secret.

I go back again to my fail-safe: "If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also." That's where I need to keep my focus. Not on the wrong...that's not mine...but on my "deeply shaken," my "hurt."

Fortunately, I have learned it is true what Eckhart Tolle espouses: "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." In short, I needed this, if for no other reason than to learn more completely that my reaction is more important to my spiritual growth than what I am reacting to.

Thy will not mine be done.

Thank you.

ADDICTED TO OUR OWN THINKING

I remember the first time I heard someone say that he was addicted to excitement. That's heard more often today, but to me forty years ago, it was an Oh No and a WOW at the same time...and doesn't that perfectly prove the point?

Recently, Fr. Richard Rohr wrote in his Daily Meditation, "Spiritual traditions at their higher levels discovered that the primary addiction for all humans is addiction to our own way of thinking."  That fairly well states the same point. Only, now, "spiritual traditions" give it legitimacy...or hubris.

I suspect that addiction is the source and the proof that we're only as sick as our secrets. Addicted to our own way of thinking can keep us from sharing our own thinking if and when we feel selfish...or superior. By not sharing those "less than/better than" thoughts with others, we lock our self down...bringing ego on the run to do our thinking for us.

I'm a believer that telling one other person our secrets is just the first step toward free from ego...we must needs keep that door open by sharing with another and another. It is through sharing that we get clarity of our self, of our own motives...and the more we share, the clearer we become.

That came to me in a blinding flash of the obvious many years ago when a doctor prescribed some medication for my anxiety. I knew then, and know today, that popping a pill to lift me over any anxiety, depression, or other sideways feelings, is not the path for me. That instance probably was my first break into complete acceptance of myself. It mattered not what anybody else needed to do for himself or herself...I did not condemn them then and do not today. For me, I try to keep my focus on God and seek still more spiritual growth. I feel anxious when I feel anxious and freely talk about it to God and others.

That's what still more spiritual growth is all about, according to me...learning to keep our focus on God's will and not fight the ego-thoughts...which only gives them new life.

We can bring those thoughts back to God with a giggle, a grin and a thank you...then, best part, share them with friends with that same giggle and grin and thank you.

Thank you.

THE WAY OF THE CROSS...THE DEATH OF EGO

I am learning...slowly, slowly...to live my life detached from my own imperfect viewpoint. Recently a friend and I each felt "done wrong" by the other...according to our own self-centered thinking.

Detaching myself from the whole situation, I saw that which I had resisted and personalized (which is the first step in attaching). Rather than hold to my hurt opinion that this was her putting me down (inviting her right-back-at'cha angry opinion of me), I experimented. I invited my belief that "God's hand is in it" to do my thinking for me. (I believe, or say I do, that God's hand is in everything...especially the not wonderful happenings that we resist and pray for God to change...in our favor.)

This happened awhile back, and the punchline is that she responded in kind, that is to say, with love; since then we each show each other courtesy, kindness and love, and today we are closer friends because of that incident.

Now. Today. Here's me with almost the exact same situation but different friend. I feel like I'm arm-wrestling with God because I am right, and she is wrong. I want for her own good to lovingly tell her that I am right and she is wrong period, get over yourself, Gertrude, let's move on.

I know from my toenails up that I will do the right thing...give up, give over...because I no longer have a choice. Reaping the rewards of spiritual growth just once is the teacher. That's how we learn that there is no inside advancement, only falling back, if we don't.

That's the trouble with still more spiritual growth...you never get to feel good about yourself until after you've given over, given in, conceded, surrendered, LOST. But then you really, really do feel...not so much good about yourself, but contented, I guess. At peace for sure, but deeper even.

Hey, that may be the love we seek which is always present...we just don't feel it until we let go...of everything.

My blinding flash of the obvious: Can the way of the cross be a metaphor for the death of ego? It feels like crucifixion, or we fear it will feel like crucifixion, but in fact there is naught but a sweet feeling of awe when we refuse our ego and choose God.

Thank you.

AGAIN WE PRAY OUR THANK YOU

[The following is a reprint of my blog of January3, 2014.]

Regrets are resistance to what is a fact in our life, maybe to a happening once upon a time. By regretting we are trying to make what happened unhappen. Our regrets, however, breathe life into what was, and it now walks in our head...it now is.

Why is the very futility of that a spur to our ego to try harder? Why not say nay to our ego and go for still more spiritual growth instead?

Eckhart Tolle has written, "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." If that is true, then what we are regretting was and is necessary to our spiritual evolution.

And here come gratitude, riding in on its big white horse (whose name is "Welcome")! Again and again and yet again...just pray, "Thank you."

Thank you.

LAUGHTER=GRATITUDE=LOVE

Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart. -- Seneca

It has been said that acceptance is the answer to every problem. I can believe that, and I can also believe that gratitude is the path to acceptance.

Gratitude is an easy get when we're not invested in an outcome. The rough road to walk is when we self-determine the only acceptable result to a personal problem, and then pray for that. Acceptance is not even considered so there's nothing to be grateful for to our reasoning mind.

Those of us seeking still more spiritual growth are blessed because, for one thing, we early on learn that prayers are best served that ask for naught...a simple "thank you" is the best prayer. I love the quote of Meister Eckhart, "If the only prayer you ever say is 'Thank You,' that will suffice."

I loved that quote the minute I first read it. I loved it, but it was seriously hard to remember...like when I knew what I needed, and I wasn't getting it. Peace of mind, for instance, when my sister/friend/parent/boss had done me wrong...again.

I can never be grateful enough for stumbling onto that gift of Eckhart's. I made it my spiritual cornerstone...the base I return to every time my ego-victory thoughts get in the way of Me. The hard part in the beginning was simply remembering, and then not beating me up when I didn't remember immediately.

Today, whenever I'm getting all up in my head, especially with a non-personal problem (say, Donald Trump), if I'll just slow down, think my thank you prayer, and remind myself that God loves Donald Trump every bit as much as he loves me, I can at least laugh. And there's my gratitude.

Laughter is gratitude's favorite child.

Thank you.

THE ENEMY...STILL US

Our attack mind is born in resistance. It then balloons into mentally attacking anyone (including our self) who offers an alternative suggestion to our anger, our hurt, our self-centered misery.

That same attack mind cannot be tamed by the reasoning mind, i.e., "knowing better." It is tamed by giving in, giving over...agreeing with our adversary quickly in other words. We don't have to like it for our own, but we do need to understand it as right for our adversary. Our new words to live by: Be the first to give in.

Once again, as always and ever, the answer is acceptance...also known as surrender. Surrender to another person's niggling opinions or to our own obsessions, it makes no never-mind. Surrender is the first step toward peace...giving it and getting it.

Being conquered by our own devil [that means losing to it], we collapse, utterly beaten, and cry because our way is no more, unaware that this is surrender turning the corner toward acceptance. Our attack mind has failed us. Our accepting mind hasn't gifted us with knowing what to do, just what not to do. We cry because we do not yet know that the blessing is in not having a clue what to do about it.

That blessing is the exact moment that God is released from within to lead us to our better place.

Not knowing is the gift, the pearl beyond price. Our reasoning mind is forced to concede, it has met the enemy and it is us (and I still miss Pogo).

Thank you.

ON REGIFTING TO GOD

To a person engrossed in materiality, enmeshed in and governed by that tyrannical master, the reasoning mind, this way of life would undoubtedly be quickly judged and condemned as totally and impossibly impractical. (Joel Goldsmith, "The Thunder of Silence," at p. 128)

We begin life as one with our singular goal being the attainment of Oneness. That is our journey, our life.

In going out at birth, as we pass through into humanhood, we are gifted with free will, also known as "that tyrannical master, the reasoning mind."

Our entire life's journey is the return trip to our before-conception place, i.e., God consciousness. That journey's primary purpose is to regift our free will to God little by little every step of the way. This journey takes many, many lifetimes...or as many lifetimes as it takes us to get over our own self.

My temptation is to write on and on and on, attempting to prove my point, but the point can only be made by seeing it, not reading about it. Here's a hint...pay attention to Medal of Honor winners. Now there is selfless.

Thank you.

THE FORMULA FOR A HAPPY LIFE

I often read that we must resist the negative, fight to hold on to the positive. No we don't. If we have to fight, or to live in resistance, to be happy, we're going down that wrong road again.

If we're ever going to really learn to resist not evil, as the Sermon teaches, we must needs let go of the idea of resistance to anything and everything. What could be more negative than evil? Yet, there it is in black and white... or red, depending on your Bible: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil.... (Matthew 5:39)

I have tested that many times. One example is that I know from experience the more I resist chocolate, the more chocolate I sneak into my daily non-diet. So I don't resist chocolate today. I just surrendered to it, as in declared it the winner, and I don't go there today. Chocolate is not everybody's evil...we each know our own. What's more important to know is that the core of each is fear, and that's where the answer is the same for each person for our own evil: Cease fighting, surrender unto acceptance and be freed.

See, if we fight fear, as is so often suggested, we become wary (fearful) of the fear that we fear is coming. I know fear...I call it anxiety, but who's kidding whom? Anxiety is fear in eight-inch heels and a feather boa. All dressed up as something else, it can't get us, or at least nobody will ever guess, we fearfully hope.

It all comes down to acceptance...to pain unto surrender unto acceptance. I'm guessing nobody comes to surrender feeling good about it. The very word is off-putting. Which proves the point...those who fight their pain, holding it off even a tish, are in fact keeping it in place. And it lives to batter us again.

I have not conquered my anxieties, but I no longer fear or dread them...or try to pray them away. I know anxiety will visit me again, I expect no less of it. I know, too, that God is with me, within me, always. I expect no less of God. I live in acceptance of both of those facts, and I know peace.

Resist not...thank God...get grateful. The formula for a mind at peace.

Thank you.

PONDER THE GOOD, BE DONE WITH THE UGLY

[The following is a reprint of my blog of February 16, 2012.]

I am reminded again, “Even were I never to speak to you, you would be well rewarded for setting apart this time.” (From today's "God Calling")

What a comfort.

Each swift turning, each mantram, each fleeting withdrawal from self, each thank you…all are well rewarded even if, in the moment, unseen by my eyes. It is in looking back at my life, my magical mystery tour, that I can document the rewards, the many rewards of still more spiritual growth.

It is for me to remind myself, as Saint Paul advised, to ponder the good, be done with the ugly…acknowledge the grace of gratitude, and know: I Am, God.

Thank you.

SEEK YE FIRST....

The only block there can be in your channel is self. Keep that out, and know that My Spirit is flowing through. -- "God Calling," November 7

I dreamed I stumbled into KingTut's undiscovered tomb. The riches there were staggering...diamonds and emeralds and sapphires and gold everything, everywhere. There were rarities I didn't even recognize. I understood that it had been sitting there for centuries upon centuries... waiting to be discovered.

A silent voice spoke to me in my dream, saying, "This is how it is with the Father's treasure within you. Riches beyond your imagining just waiting to be freed. The only block is you...your constant digging to get to the treasure and calling it a search for God. God is not hidden...it is your refusal to believe that he is free within you now that blinds you. Accept that without a thought for the gifts that will bring and be free."

Our belief that it is ours to find the Father within will ever block us...in the first place, we are relying on our own self, and in the second we're usually going for the treasure, be it only peace of mind.

We go to God for God and that is all.

Thank you.

HUMILITY...THERE IS NO ENOUGH

And according to the varying needs of each so does each human see me. -- "God Calling," June 6

That statement describes perfectly the freedom we're given in having a God of our own understanding. All the world is free to have a God of his or her own understanding, yet many of us get all tangled in the mental picture of the God about which we thought we were taught as children. Then we spend our lives fighting our own judgment of the rigid, righteous and right people who forced that on us. We'd rather be rigid, righteous and wrong than simply change our mind.

According to me, that is the snare that holds an unhealthy majority of all of our problems...our refusal to simply change our mind. Probably because that is an admission that we were wrong in the first place.

It is a humbling possibility that being wrong isn't as dreaded as being caught being wrong. If I alone know my error, I can change my mind at will. However, if I've shared my wrong...just once...well, what's a body to do? Depending on how "positively" I shared my opinion, I can stay tied to my view till my face falls off. A disconcerting thought.

That's when having a God of my own understanding lifts me up, kisses me on the lips, and sets me free. For today I know that my God's hand is in everything. For instance, here's me shooting off a dumb remark that I recognize as dumb two seconds after it's out there. My head, my heart and my gut all clench...then I feel the breeze, whispering "Beloved," and I unclench. I know that dumb remark is exactly what was needed for my humility. Of which I can never have enough.

God is sooo  good to me.

Thank you.

A STRAIGHT ROAD TO GOD

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. -- Anonymous

And if that isn't the hardest axiom to apply in life, I dread finding the real one.

By "to apply," I mean, "to live and breathe" in not responding in kind. So that when, when, when, a dear friend causes us a teeny-tiny...certainly too small to mention, just let it go, no big deal...hurt, "and we are sore" anyway...not making them pay if only in our own mind has got to belong to God. Personally, I find it increasingly difficult to do, and shouldn't it be decreasingly difficult to do after all this time and effort spent learning and pondering, not to mention preaching?

Today, it is no inordinate strain on me to keep my mouth shut rather than reply in kind to snide and snarks. And I can walk away with a smile and an easy mind...truly! It is the hours later, when the thinking it over creeps in. Then. That is when I'm "in the wrong also."

I know the axiom is true, because in that thinking it over, I've never yet felt better about it or me. I do feel sore...physically, mentally and spiritually. No way that can be dressed up as "right" or even "not all that wrong."

Giftee! I just had a blinding flash of the obvious: My most difficult to do is my twisted, and my twisted still is loved by God. We are lovable to and loved by God, twisted inside or not.

The gold in the hardest axiom to apply in my life: The twisted is a straight road to God...to God.

Thank you.

NONVIOLENCE...THE SUPREME LAW OF LIFE

[The following is a reworked reprint of my blog of April 11, 2011.]

Once again I’m running my mind on wars…and why the world keeps having them. I love the ’60s chant, ”War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.”

Just this morning I came across a Hindu proverb, “Nonviolence is the supreme law of life.”

I wondered if there can ever be nonviolence with just one person holding a single violent thought. That set me on a free flight of fantasy: That single violent thought shows forth through attitude with not a word spoken, starting the ugly begets ugly, hate begets hate cycle.

One violent thought sends out a sense of foreboding vibrations and echoes…causing peace, love and joy to withdraw in on itself  just a tish…which allows that violent thought to come closer, causing more foreboding, more withdrawal…until peace, love and joy are either totally withdrawn or have reacted in kind to violent thought. And we’re on the path to war.

Unfortunately, in the material world one violent thought often comes on looking hip, slick and cool, and peace, love and joy just borrring.

If only we each were willing to look at our world detached from our ego (or, put another way, for the benefit of others), that same borrring might begin to look attractive, and hip, slick and cool might then show us their true colors...camouflage and mud brown.

Thank you.

ON CHOOSING PEACE AND PEACE ALONE

I suspect we will never have a mind at peace until we make peace with our attack mind.

The way to make peace with an attack mind is to let it attack. Choose not to follow it there. Do not attach our self to it by resisting with admonitions, dread, fear, hate, etc.

If we let it attack at will, in essence giving it permission, it will have nothing to rage against. It is our resistance that nurtures it and keeps it attacking.

We find out, of course, that we cannot let it attack at will and remain unruffled within. We learn, all over again, feeling like for the first time, that we must and we must immediately turn our thoughts to God...peace, love and joy, roses and rainbows, morning dew and evening starshine. Let it be.

It is amazing and typically human that that requires so much effort...holding our own thoughts to images of nothing but good. Hard, hard, Lord, ain't it hard!..especially when it is so easy to wallow in the pig poop of our attack mind.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh, let it be. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be, oh, let it be. 

Thank you.

THE ESSENCE OF NONVIOLENCE

Bearing with people is the essence of nonviolence. -- Eknath Easwaran

That makes sense to me. Actually, it leads me to wonder if all violence doesn't begin with a single resistant thought. A single resistant thought, not addressed...not by going to the one we are resisting, but by going inside, to the really and truly great emancipator, God, and getting free of our own resistance.

Or, put more beautifully, not to mention succinctly, by Julian of Norwich: And thus I saw when we are all in peace and in love, we find no contrariness, nor no manner of letting through that contrariness which is now in us.

Our happiness, our peace, our joy itself is entirely ours to show and to shower. And still we war.

War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Thank you.

HERE BE ANGELS

It is said that to try to know something without first loving it is not to know it very well at all.

That is very much like something I heard some 35-40 years ago, to wit, You cannot change anything until you fully accept it. I first heard that from a friend when he was speaking of our character defects. And I thought he was nuts.

I was making the mistake of believing that to accept something meant that made it true, and I was stuck with it forever. Which, in fact, it does. The only change is internally (where God lives). When we accept our worst fear for a fact, all our inner mechanisms switch gears, going from resistance (fear) to acceptance (love).

We know from our toenails up that that is an impossible act for any individual to achieve in the head or through self-will or all alone...or all of the above. Which opens us to the great and glorious realization that our "inner mechanisms" are our angels. They live there for the sole purpose of doing our heavy lifting...the lift of self into Self. Or for any other ego-victory battle we're sure to lose without their aid.

I'm a believer that is why acceptance is the answer...to everything at all times and at any time. The very gut-bucket release of our fear into our acceptance releases our angels, and they soar!

Which reminds me of the advice from my beloved mentor so many years ago: Cling to nothing, dear heart...soar! Yes!

Thank you.

OUR ONLY NEED

There are no unanswered prayers, there is just our inability...no, it is our refusal...to accept that our want, our prayer, is not God's will.

We expend our energy pondering our want...dressing it up so, to our reasoning mind, it cannot NOT be acceptable to God. We ignore the glaringly obvious fact that God knows our needs before we do...how can he not, being God!

And if that sounds naïve (which, I've heard, is just a pretty word for stupid), then consider this (which is only my take...we each get to find our own): Our only need is to continue our transition from reliance on our reasoning mind to being in God consciousness. That is our only need...to enter into and remain in God consciousness.

All of our life here springs from that one need and our recognition that each and every fact and act that comes to us is God's gift lifting us deeper into higher consciousness. To reap the benefits of that gift, we live our "thank you"...to delay our progress, we live our "yes, but...."

Acceptance vs. resistance...our choice.

Thank you.

LISTEN TO LOVE

I am convinced that the universe is under the control of a loving purpose and that in the struggle for righteousness man has cosmic companionship. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I find it interesting that so many of us on reading that, believe it...or don't object to it. Yet, if King had said he was convinced that the universe is under God's control and that in the struggle for righteousness man has the companionship of God, a good many would squawk and squeal like a stuck pig. God does not have a good rep to many...no, it's not God, it's that word God, actually.

And don't even think of the word Jesus. People expire before your very eyes with that word. The name Jesus Christ is a flamethrower to a good many.

Yet, in my world today, Buddha is not only acceptable...and I'm talking words only here...Buddha gives one bragging rights. [Human nature being such as it is, pray for Buddha...he's in for a fall.]

People in general dodge the word Allah altogether. Jehovah, too. And nobody that I know uses the word Yahweh...I've only ever seen that written in spiritual tracts and spoken in the class I took ages ago on the Old Testament.

According to me, there's nothing wrong with relating to any one of them...I'm a believer that whatever speaks to one personally, use. Use being the key. It is the almost universal refusal to let others use whatever/whomever speaks to them that is bothersome.

There are those who flinch on hearing Jesus mentioned...with the universal alibi of blame, "the way I was raised." Here's a 30-, 40-, 50-years-old and older person still blaming the way she was raised, the religion he was taught for not taking responsibility for her own inner beliefs, his very core.

Religion seems to me to be the last holdout of the justified-hate crowd. If we're ever going to face our own ego down, and by that I mean, let God out from within, we need to consider giving our ears freedom. Freedom to hear others speak their truth...neither rejecting it nor buying it whole cloth.

Just because we listen, doesn't mean we must respond, vocally or mentally. We can give a silent shrug or hug and keep on walking. We can do that...but only by disciplining our own mind. Our own attack mind.

We can pray for peace until our face falls off, but peace will not be ours until we give peace away. We have it within us now...we use it by listening with the ears of God, Buddha, Jesus, Jehovah, Allah, whoever speaks to us.

Listen to love.

Thank you.

TOUCHED, HUMBLED, TORN...BLESSED

'We should be willing to act as a balm for all wounds.' -- The last words in the diary of Etty Hillesum who died at Auschwitz in November, 1943, at the age of twenty-nine. [From "An Interrupted Life, the Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941-43"]

I do not believe there is a snowball's chance of any human becoming "willing to act as a balm for all wounds" without herself being an authentic spiritual experience. An authentic spiritual experience is said to come from profound love or intense suffering. Haunting and hurting pain, both.

I used to pray for an authentic spiritual experience, and believe me intense suffering was not in my plan of action...and profound love was all about rainbows, roses and butterflies. Imagine my resistance when I realized they are one.

I wonder, though, as I read again "An Interrupted Life," how far have I come from my starting point, really? Oh, from my eyebrows up, I'm light years advanced. I have suffered deeply and I have come to love deeply the very source of my suffering.

But we're talking the Holocaust. Being a victim of evil beyond imagining during the Holocaust. Being taken to Auschwitz...to the showers at Auschwitz. And up to the end, thinking of...even desiring to be...a balm for all wounds.

All who read of Etty Hillesum and are touched, humbled, torn are strengthened by our weakness...our desire to lighten such a load seventy-some-odd years later is in itself of God.

Etty Hillesum lives.

Thank you.

OPEN OUR HEART...LET GRACE FLOW OUT

I wonder if spiritual growth doesn't start with the grace of silence. We know that there are two ways to  view everything...through our reasoning mind's eyes (ego based) and through our spiritual eyes (God based).

Silence, too, is two-tiered...there's the mouth-taped-shut silence, self-will all the way, and the silence where no conscious thought is involved, only the grace of gratitude pervading us. It is ours to choose which way we will go in the midst of personal chaos.

Interestingly, we, who are just beginning to accept silence as the answer, will almost always go for the scotch-tape route first. And that is right and proper...keeping the mouth shut however we can buys us time. Our second thought, though, must be toward God...a "thank you" will do that just fine.

I suspect silence in the midst of turmoil is so difficult because our ego is always ready to defend...first, last, always. The ego-based reasoning mind perceives we are being victimized by our own silence and, without a thought of God, its only reasonable response is attack.

The lesson we're learning is that when we feel victimized by our own silence that is simply our ego telling us that we need to respond in kind...in short, to stand up for our self. Yet, the fact is when defense is the answer, we are stuck in the problem.

We need to change our mind...or, put another way, upgrade our attitude. We do that by opening our heart and mind to let God's perfect will flow out...a new way of responding can and will open a channel toward peace for all involved.

The main drawback with this way is it takes longer than shooting a person in the back of the head. But the consequences are oh so much better...they are consequences we can live with.

Thank you.

HOLDING THE TENSION

We are transformed when we neither project our anxieties, angers, fears and hurts on to others nor use them to castigate our own self, according to me.

I believe one of the greatest blocks to spiritual growth is the way we allow ourselves today to bitch, carp and complain...i.e., we "vent." Nobody holds the tension (as Rohr calls it) anymore.

This has been an almost incomprehensible gift to my spiritual growth...and my examples are so puny! But they're mine, and until we have our own, we have no base on which to build.

One recent situation of mine was my not responding in kind to the friend who called me a bald-faced liar. This was a gift straight from God. The gift being, I did respond but I responded with kindness, courtesy and love... just like we're supposed to! Like we tell others they need to.

It really does feel as warm and wonderful as we're promised, but only if we do it not through grim determination to say nothing, but by silently thanking God for guarding our tongue...saying or not saying...as he willed.

The best part of my experience is the friendship is still intact. Our friendship, albeit changed, has grown deeper...certainly more loving.

Holding the tension is a process, not a one-shot deal. I went to God with my thank you p.d.q., early and often. I don't remember but I don't think it took a full 24 hours for my head to move on. I do know I would have blown that friendship away had I never heard of spiritual growth through holding the tension. And I'd still be "venting" about it.

God is always on call...it's just not our call that determines his way.

Thank you.

GOD'S GIFT AND WANTING IT

I believe that life's spiritual test is how well we can comprehend and live the promise that the God we seek is already ours...already within me, within you, within us which includes every living thing, and every living thing includes stone and steel. Cats even. Everything. Everywhere.

The word is that there cannot be a place that the living God is not. This becomes ours to prove, and the battle begins...within. Between the reasoning mind's view and the spiritual view.

"Ours to prove" takes a lifetime for most of us. It is life itself that teaches us that only through surrender do we reach our gold. The paradox is that we learn to resist not, yet the only way to surrender is to resist! For how are we ever going to surrender if we never resist? 

We can accept that our road to God is to resist a little less each day. To find within our self daily the love necessary to give over to another, specifically to give over to the one we are resisting...there's always someone to our ego-victory mind.

Maybe God's gift to use is an attack mind and the spiritual tools to overcome it. We get to supply the want to.

Thank you.

TO CONQUER SELF, SURRENDER

The way of conquest over the material, the temporal, which all should know, is learned by the conquest of the physical, the self-life, in each of you. -- "God Calling," October 25

There. That is the main message of spiritual growth itself: Conquer self.

My concept is that in conquering self, all good within is unblocked...and will flow out from our center (where God lives) to others, returning to us with twelve bushels full left over.

Conquering self to me starts with not being as nasty as I want to be, not responding in kind to less-than-wonderful remarks, acts or attitudes, and then moves up to being...truly feeling...care and concern for the other. The other being the original slinger of the less-than-wonderful.

Amazingly, I have been able to do that today...with an extremely few others. I just give me points big time that I've gotten over myself with two or three. And that's all it is...getting over our own self. No matter what mud is slung, if we don't take it personally, it is not ours, it cannot touch us.

This I know from my own experience, so I can guarantee it...so why are there only "an extremely few" I've succeeded with? Because getting over one's own self is not a job for self...and our ego does not cede its control period.

We must go to God. Ah, there's the hook. It is really, really hard to remember that we go to God for God and that is all when we see our problem, we know the solution, and we cannot do it. So we go to God and ask him to help us, to do something about it, to even help us accept it as unfixable, to do this, that, etc., etc., etc.

Until we can go to God for God and that is all, we're being our ego's spokesperson...going to God to ask for that which cannot touch our ego...our will. We were gifted with free will at birth, our journey is ever to give that free will back. As long as we're asking for our will's solution, we're playing our ego's game...there is no God in that.

To conquer self, surrender self. And that is all.

Thank you.

GOD CAN AND WILL...ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS

In his Daily Meditation of this past October 22nd, Fr. Richard Rohr wrote that we must come to "an awareness that I am the enemy and the enemy is me. I cannot destroy the other without destroying myself. I must embrace my enemy just as I welcome my own shadow."

I dreamed last night that I came face-to-face with a person unknown to me yet I realized her as an alienated friend who clearly wanted to set me straight...again. Among other things, I knew we had not seen each other in over 30 years, yet she had stored deep within her the original peeve, plus 30 years of raging self-pity with my name on it.

When I awoke, I felt the alienated friend's presence, and I said, "You're just going to have to let me off the hook. That's your only road to freedom." With which I recognized my alienated friend as a stand-in for my undeserved suffering, my nemesis as it were.

I felt my heart and soul soar with the certainty that God can and will...always and all ways...find a way to speak my truth to me.

Thank you.

SIMPLIFY...AND LAUGH

My little guy is at my feet, sound asleep. Apparently he has absolute faith that he is taken care of and that he will be taken care of.

I don't think that his faith comes from the fact that he can see me. I think he just uses the love he was born with, lets it grow and flow like the proverbial mustard seed whose only job is to grow, so grow it does. No nattering, coaxing, worrying, analyzing...it grows because God formed it, gave it its job to do, and set it free to be. Which, if we would only accept it, is just what he did for you and me.

So here's my theory: Animals, plants...all nonhuman living things...do God so well because they neither want nor believe they need to think about it...plus they don't have opposable thumbs.

Simplify. Detach. Love. Laugh.

Thank you.

LOVE THE UNLOVABLE, LOVE OUR SELF

You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving. -- Saint Francis de Sales

What the good Saint does not say is that the one we need to love is the one least lovable to our reasoning mind. We must go beyond reason to love. To go beyond reason is to divorce our self from our own opinion, according to me.

The unfortunate truth is that there is always and without fail someone we believe who is not our friend...and it is not our fault. Here's an exercise: Imagine that one's face, then say, "I can love you" to the mental image. Thus begins the process of allowing our self to go within, there to experience the freedom in changing our mind.

We can think the exact opposite of what we're believing if we are willing to give up our rigid, righteous and right self-justification for believing ill of the other to begin with, i.e., s/he said or did it first and worse. Our goal now is to return goodwill for ill will...and we will need inside help.

I'm convinced the hard-to-bear-with is so difficult because she is me. What we see is always our self...we find that difficult to accept because we refuse to take the necessary time to really look...to look with newly opened eyes and an inviting mind. We generally are so put off by the difficult one that we will not allow that we are anything like him, thus we refuse to look behind the façade.

It'll probably take a "thank you, God" or two to get started, but the payoff is priceless. We wind up feeling really, really good about our self...because our Self is at the wheel!

Thank you.

LIFE REALLY IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

Life is a conundrum, a paradox, an enigma:

How do we get love?  We give love away.

How do we get a vibrant, alive and spirit-filled mind? Through silence.

How do we overcome our enemy? Embrace him.

How do we win an argument? Agree...quickly. 

How do we know for certain sure there is a God? We don't.

How do we accept not knowing? We laugh.

How do we laugh when reliance on God is apparently essential in our life? We love and laugh.

Where do we go to learn how to love and laugh? Within...to God.

Thank you.

BE SILENT...DO NOTHING

Do nothing.

A friend told me that is an ancient Japanese or Chinese adage, I don't remember which, and it doesn't really matter, it is the direction that is important. That direction speaks to me of learning detachment...about which we can never learn enough.

My favorite lesson in learning detachment is, "Sit and wait on the Lord." That's in the Bible somewhere, and it is fairly hard to do. Mainly because our reasoning mind is continually nattering, wanting to know when the Lord is going to do something, and what, and how, etc.

Which reminds me of the other toughie...listening. Speak not, slow the mind, and...listen. Sitting with all those questions racing, rounding them up, bringing them back to zero, starting over...that, according to me, is how we go about learning how to sit quietly and listen.

We are in the process of building trust in the Lord. Because having faith and trust and belief... all the necessary intangibles... are gifts that aren't ours to get just for the asking...or for the wanting. It takes diligence...concentrated effort...to do nothing, to sit and wait...on the invisible, untouchable Lord.

Finally we understand. It is putting in our time...silently, reverently...that lets those necessary intangibles flow from the inside out. I have found the hardest part in spiritual growth is not outward activity but inward receptivity. How do we get a vibrant, alive and spirit-filled mind? We still our thoughts. Stilled thoughts bring a silenced mind is a receptive mind,

A receptive mind is open, allowing our inner Self to inform us...if, as and when It chooses. There. That is the pearl beyond price.

Thank you.