It seems to me that everything comes down to the doing...how well am I living it, walking it, breathing it? "It" being the spiritual life...the thinking of others first life. The one where we give over to another even...and especially...when we know we're right. Learning the difference between caving in and agreeing with exceptions. Ah, there's the nut. Agreeing with exceptions, also known as, disagreeing agreeably.
That's the one that makes believers out of hard-core atheists because, according to me, it cannot be done relying on self-will alone. Just knowing we want to, setting our mind to "just do it," gritting our teeth and lip-synching nice-nice often get us a face full of hateful and, lately, a middle-finger salute into the bargain.
The most important words, and the pearl beyond price, in that paragraph are "relying on self-will alone." For it can be done, that agreeing with exceptions. It can be done when we rely on the God of our own understanding...the God to whom we have given our will, or our life's "I want" list.
Not very long ago I ran into a problem with a friend, and I consciously decided to trust God and move forward. In effect, I held my nose and took a leap of faith...I did not cave, I agreed with exceptions. Our entire friendship changed...for the better, and we are having a much more fun friendship today.
I am in the midst of an almost identical situation, and, even with my recent experience, I am having the devil's own time just wanting to trust God and give over.
I will...my own self-chosen penalties make that determination. It's just a hoot that I'm still in it to win it...a phrase that is overused and under-attained.
That, though, is what makes life so interesting, never boring, exciting, in fact. The fight to give up the fight. Another reminder to love and laugh...and letting go will follow.
Thank you.
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