Friday, November 27, 2015

THE GIFT OF SOUL DARKNESS

I'm beginning to believe that the fear of anxiety is the corroder of the world today. Actual anxiety itself, once you're in it, can only last a minor amount of time. I once knew exactly how long the experts say an anxiety attack lasts...a short while to the experts, way too long to the one in it.

It is in trying to hold off anxiety, however, that the fear of anxiety rules, and eventually brings on what has been called "the dark night of the soul."

According to me, the gift of soul darkness is the very darkness itself. We cannot see; there is only black...terrified, utterly alone, no answers, hopeless, helpless, even our ego is vulnerable. Now that is fear, when the ego deserts us.

The paradox, of course, is it is the ego's desertion that brings both our darkest point and the divine U-bie. It is in reaching that darkest depth that our decision is made...to turn toward the light.

The darkness is proof that we cannot save our self. We've tried evasiveness, half-truths, obfuscation...bald-faced lies. We've even tried telling the truth! The problem being, the truth we've told is the truth as we saw it, knew it, allowed it to be. For sure, we've gone to any length...for self. To save our self as we believed we needed to be saved.

And there is the dreadful gift...choosing to be left to our self, we do not know, and we do not know that we do not know, and we crash and burn. It is the flames from that burn, however, that light the way for the God of our own understanding to lift us, love us, guide us toward freedom from self.

The gift of darkness draws you to know God’s presence beyond what thought, imagination, or sensory feeling can comprehend.  -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," October 14, 2014

Thank you.

No comments:

Post a Comment