We are transformed when we neither project our anxieties, angers, fears and hurts on to others nor use them to castigate our own self, according to me.
I believe one of the greatest blocks to spiritual growth is the way we allow ourselves today to bitch, carp and complain...i.e., we "vent." Nobody holds the tension (as Rohr calls it) anymore.
This has been an almost incomprehensible gift to my spiritual growth...and my examples are so puny! But they're mine, and until we have our own, we have no base on which to build.
One recent situation of mine was my not responding in kind to the friend who called me a bald-faced liar. This was a gift straight from God. The gift being, I did respond but I responded with kindness, courtesy and love... just like we're supposed to! Like we tell others they need to.
It really does feel as warm and wonderful as we're promised, but only if we do it not through grim determination to say nothing, but by silently thanking God for guarding our tongue...saying or not saying...as he willed.
The best part of my experience is the friendship is still intact. Our friendship, albeit changed, has grown deeper...certainly more loving.
Holding the tension is a process, not a one-shot deal. I went to God with my thank you p.d.q., early and often. I don't remember but I don't think it took a full 24 hours for my head to move on. I do know I would have blown that friendship away had I never heard of spiritual growth through holding the tension. And I'd still be "venting" about it.
God is always on call...it's just not our call that determines his way.
Thank you.
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