THE TRUE WIN/WIN

In an adverse encounter, it is important to remember that we are not responsible for what s/he heard us say…which is not necessarily what we said. Nor are we responsible for how he interpreted what she heard us say.

We are responsible for our reaction to the one who is confronting us about what she heard and how he interpreted it. When our reaction is a flippant "that's on you" in any form, we are buying into the other's anger, resentment. We have just made it ours, and ours of the worst kind; i.e., a silent attitude of rigid, righteous and right. In a word, superior.

We have just been given The Pearl...an opportunity to detach from our ego-victory reaction. We get to immediately turn our thoughts to God, silently thanking Him for guiding, first our attitude, then our words through the encounter.

A simple, "I regret you heard it that way," or (this is advanced) "I'm sorry." Our ego resists saying "I'm sorry," because...and we're off, justifying, building our own resentment.

Why is "I'm sorry" so difficult? It probably makes more sense to ponder how "I'm sorry" could and would be the better thing. For surely we must be sorry that the entire contretemps arose...there's no need to go into exactly what we are or are not sorry for. Just a simple "I'm sorry" could end it all with both sides coming out the winner.

When we walk away a winner because we got over on another, we get our ego-victory and lose our spiritual ground. When both sides walk away a winner, we know God's hand is in it. We keep our spiritual ground, and the other one gains a spiritual insight. There. That's the true win/win.

Thank You.