LOVING SELECTIVELY IS NOT THE ANSWER

[The following is a reprint of my blog of January 26, 2009.]

Love the whole world as a mother loves her only child. -- The Buddha

First thought: What a high standard that is.

Second thought: What other standard can there be?

I mainly concern myself with the well-being of friends within my sphere, those friends of my little world…with “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me” thrown in in the mornings just to cover my bases.

I remember my reporter friend who started out as a jerk, pure and simple, and ended as my good friend. I recall a lady, with whom I once argued (in my mind) on a daily basis, who today is a lovely person I look forward to seeing. Nothing about them changed, but when I dropped my resistance to them, they changed in my heart, in my head and in my experience.

I wonder if this is the principle by which I could be the peace that I ask for every morning…the peace on earth, not just the peace in my yard.

I wonder if this is the principle by which Jesus raised the dead, healed the sick, fed the hungry.

Thank You.

NOTHING LEFT FOR WHICH WE WISH

The crucifixion of the self is accomplished when there is nothing left for which we wish to pray.  -- Joel  Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism" at p. 377.

If that be true, then it follows that the road to ego reduction in depth is accomplished by letting go of our self-determined objectives, i.e., our wants...no matter how pretty we dress our wants.

That's why "If the only prayer we ever say is 'Thank You,' that will suffice."

Thank You.

OUR READINESS IS ENTIRELY UP TO US

I need to be willing to give up that which attracts me in the first place. -- Anonymous

There is the first step in learning detachment...it's all about unlearning, and the quickest way to detach is to not pick it up in the first place. Doesn't matter what the "it" is...booze for an alcoholic, food for a compulsive overeater, a dollar bet for a gambler, or restraint of tongue, pen, e-mail, self.

All of our defects of character could be transmuted in a second if we quit using them...and now, not later, not "next time." 

How easy it is to think of that as just so many words...like my budget on paper. On paper, I should be able to save as much as I need, spend as much as I want and have some left over. The truth is the only reason my budget on paper is not reality in my life is that I do not use that which I have written as possible for me to live by...I use my want-to. The same is true of defects of character. 

I'm convinced the only thing that can change that is a deeper want to...a want to have a higher power active in our lives. That want then grows into a need, and God answers needs, not wants...on his own timetable. The key being: His timetable is based on our readiness, never His caprice.

Our readiness is entirely up to us, upon our conscious decision and our follow-through actions. That is why we need to practice spiritual principles in all of our affairs at all times...which starts with a need to be willing to give up that which attracts us in the first place. 

Thank You.

TAKING THAT LEAP OF FAITH

I woke up the other morning with a race-race, run-run mind about the Congress, the current presidential campaign, politicians in general, but most especially how I needed to set them all straight. I then prayed for them, i.e., I told God what they each needed and how soon. I don't doubt that humans are God's Comedy Central...without us, He wouldn't have any laughs at all.

It is a comfort...and pulls me back from my obsessed thoughts...to remember the law of karma and the psychological equivalent to the physical law that every action has a reaction equal and opposite to it.

I call that "what goes around comes around." It may be the only infallible truth in my life...although, depending entirely on my spiritual condition, I have noticed that it doesn't seem to operate as much in others' lives as it does in mine...for which I do not hesitate to sit in righteous judgment.

It seems to me my life today is all about unlearning, about detaching...detaching from self, from myself. Letting go.  It's a stunner to realize that to let go of something is to admit it...not only to speak it in acceptance, but to admit it into my life as my own. In short, to let go is to own it for only then can we laugh at ourselves for fearing it (holding it dear) in the first place.

An even bigger surprise is realizing that I didn't know, off the top of my head, what it was I was holding onto in order to let go of it!  That's why life is a "we" proposition. 

One just can't get there from here alone, depending entirely on our reasoning mind. Which is doubly true if we're fairly intelligent. My superior intelligence (in my own mind) was the block to believing in God originally...not that I didn't try. I just tried to believe by thinking on it, using my reasoning mind to get it. We're blessed that our reasoning mind cannot get us there. We must go beyond reason...by letting go, detaching, unlearning.

In the end, it's all about holding our nose and taking a leap of faith. It matters not how many times I've had to take that leap of faith, when I'm hanging out there in the ether, my reasoning mind will always say, "Uh-oh." But I've always landed safe in the arms.

Thank You.

RARELY AND JUST BARELY...WHICH IS ENOUGH

 I was once nobody and now I’m everybody —

There it is. That's the essence of spiritual consciousness. Which differs from reasoning mind consciousness whose goal is "I was once nobody and now I'm somebody."

Living in the consciousness of "I am somebody" is to remain alone...always with the underlying feeling of need...need to protect self, to change "them", to make what happened un-happen or to cause a wished-for to happen.

To be somebody is to live in the world of getting and giving, both being self-determined objectives. To become everybody is to live without knowledge of getting or giving. To live in the consciousness of "I am everybody" is living completely nonresistant...in peace, at ease, and filled with loving kindness.

I have touched the consciousness of everybody...rarely and just barely. But to have touched is to have "faith as a grain of a mustard seed" and that is enough.

Thank You.

SEEK NOT...REALIZE WHAT IS

It is not for us to seek the love of God...it is for us to realize the love of God already within us/without us.

When we resist the reality outside of our reasoning mind's control, we invite our own pain. Depending on our own decision to hold to our reasoning mind's picture rather than open to  it, we will suffer and our victim thinking will grow stronger.

It is not for us to fight ourselves, our victim, over the picture appearing, it is to let the Father within melt our resistance.

"Why not give up your thoughts and ways and your doubtful mind, and let the still, small voice assure you that 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee'?" Joel Goldsmith, The Heart of Mysticism, p. 363.

Thank You.

DETACHING FROM WANTS

I just reread an earlier note I'd written to myself in my daily reader, "I realize my core defect of character...withholding self."

That was true all those years ago, it is true today...but on an entirely different level. I don't withhold myself from my world today, but I do withhold me from God. I withhold myself every time I forget that the outcome is not mine, it's God's...the outcome of every second of my life.

I have come to believe that the only prayer necessary is "Thank you." Thank you, that all that You are, I am, we are; all that You have is mine, is ours.

Our job is to become and to stay willing to put in all the work and study and prayer necessary to come into this realization. And coming into this realization is that all the work and study and prayer is not to make it happen, but to detach from our belief that we have the burden and/or the power to make it happen...to think that truth into reality.

This good is the pure activity of God, not dependent on anything we do or do not do...all the reading, studying and meditating are merely aids to open our consciousness. The only requirement on our part is that we open consciousness to receive the word of God...and that's on His timetable. (Paraphrased from Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism," at pp 360-361.)

My reasoning mind knows the God of my understanding is a dragfoot, because nothing ever happens as fast as I want it. It is only in detaching from that want-mind that I can realize that which I want I already have...it's me that's the dragfoot in accepting that.

Nothing can stay the hand of God.

Thank You.

OTHERS

[The following is a reprint of a blog of mine from May 14, 2010.]

For whatever reason, recently I am receiving the message of “service to others,” “service for others,” “serve others.”  I am feeling bombarded with need-to-serve messages.

Which, I hasten to add, I know to be a good message…and even if I didn’t know it, I wouldn’t admit to it. I mean, common sense tells me it’s a good message…except that it seems every time I get it, I sorta wilt. Then I start justifying that I do, why I don’t, how much I do…uh-oh, not enough. Let’s face it, “serve others” is a downer to me.

Maybe the problem is that the very word “serve” feels to me like a lecture, and lectures that I haven’t selected of my own free will just tick me off. I’m not big on sermons either which it also feels like.

I’m guessing I need to reinterpret the word…maybe if I just drop the word entirely. When I read “serve others,” think “others.” “Service to/for others” is just “others” if I want it to be.  

Thank You.

WE MUST PROVE TRUTH

I do believe that what goes around comes around, and I couldn't decide this morning if I wanted to be around or if I didn't want to be around when the Congress gets theirs.That told me I needed to do my gratitude list, so here are some of the things I'm grateful for today:

1. I know if my self-determined worst-case-scenario happens, that cannot pull me down...not my feelings, not my thoughts, not my being.
2. I know I must renew that realization on a daily basis for it only comes by conscious contact with God.
3. I know that not being pulled down does not mean I will dance in the sunshine, sing in the rain.
4. I know that staying down is sometimes playing the victim to get others' pity...mistaking pity for love.
5. When I realized the truth in the spiritual axiom that every time something upsets me, there is something wrong with me, I was gifted with the knowledge that God has my back.
6. I am no longer responsible for how "you" feel, nor am I responsible for how "you" interpret what I have to say. And...thank you, Jesus...vice versa.
7. I no longer feel that an unreturned phone call/e-mail is a judgment on me...so I do not need to sit in judgment because of it.
8. I know God can and will intervene in my life in my behalf. I know that just knowing that is not enough...if I do not show that, it will be the same as untrue to me.

Thank You.

GOD IN MY HEART

[This is a reprint of my blog of September 21, 2009.]

Forget not the central truth that God is seated in your own heart.  - Swami Ramdas

Why is that so hard for me to remember?

I feel like I’m walking under water…everything is resisting me…the very air feels opaque.

It may just be the season’s changing…fall is definitely in the air…I’ve already had to wear my light-weight winter coat (we used to call them “Spring coats”) when I walked the boy at 5:30 AM.

There have been stories written about the melancholy of fall…I’ve never before really felt that…I do prefer spring, but I’ve never felt melancholy with the onset of fall. But I do today…and the day is beautiful as it was yesterday…with a nip in the air even at 75 degrees.

I look at my calendar and see “Autumn Begins” tomorrow. Why does it feel so early? It’s not…it’s right on time.

Then I look up at my glass-domed clock on which I have placed the seal “I voted, Presidential Election, 2008,” and my heart smiles…the blue feelings move back a tish…and here comes Ruckus, happy as if he had good sense, letting me know it’s time to go out…just giddy about it. For sure, God is seated in that boy's heart…and he never forgets!

Thank You.

DETACHMENT FROM SELF

When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence looks more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable fears. - Anonymous

When first I read that, I realized that my only concern had ever been for relief from my unreasonable fears, never how to serve in my job or in life itself. I was always seeking to get...rather than to realize God as my fulfillment, my sustenance, my abundance.

Any chance of freedom from fear of anything is dependent on reliance on a power greater than ourselves...a power we have no way to control, influence, curry the favor of, or even despise...a power for our own personal good, hence for the good of friend and foe alike...the reliance shows forth in and as service, being of service, becoming a service-giver according to the other's needs (as determined by that same higher power upon whom we are learning to rely).

It is all about detachment from self into Oneness, here and now.

Thank You.

THE WHOLE POINT...AND DOING IT

I hear someone I totally disagree with...my best bet is to remind me that it is opinions like that that make a place for me at this table. It is not for me to convince the other either that s/he is wrong or that I am right...it is for me to realize and invite into my consciousness that we are both expressing God in our own way from our own experience...and that is the point of life itself.

Now to do that...now to live it.

Thank You.

I BELIEVE, HELP ME MY UNBELIEF

I am assured and reassured that the kingdom of God is within, and I do believe that...and still I can find my search starting "out there." Every "please," may I," "help" is a denial of the reality of God, of the kingdom of God, of the fact that I Am that I Am. I know that to be true, but I have not proved it yet 100%.  Maybe that is what the rest of my life's search for still more spiritual growth is about...proving God within/without.

I today owe X amount of dollars on my condo which causes me no concern, I'd just like to pay it off...now.

I do not buy lottery tickets, but I consciously do not buy them...I have a secret want-to going on whenever I'm in a 7-11 which I have no problem with in general. If someone wants to buy a chance, knock yourself out. I do buy a $2 ticket whenever the payoff is in the hundreds of millions...why not? But my secret ongoing want-to is simply to win enough to pay off my condo...to ensure future security in case the market tanks another time bigger than the other time. And where's my God-has-my-back then?

My desire today is to let go of my secret desire to buy the ticket in the first place...to let go of all desires, in fact. If it is true that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven, then I can believe that I would miss my inner realization if I were to win the big bucks lottery. I do believe any inner realization is worth more than any amount of money...it is the pearl beyond price.

From my eyebrows up, I know that all I will ever need is already present, is embodied in God who is within me, without me, which means that all the Father has is already mine.

The reasoning mind kicker is that I can look back on my life and have my proof that that is true. It is, however, that same mind's inability to give over in faith that that will be true tomorrow. I am grateful that I can spend the rest of my life proving it. One day at a time.

Thank You.

OUT OF VICTIM INTO FREEDOM

The danger with standing in the realization that we were truly victims is that that will justify our every decision, every act, every reaction, hindering if not blocking any forward freedom. It relieves our reasoning mind from learning from our mistakes. We justify instead of rectify...then expect understanding from those adversely effected by our less than wonderful behavior.

The blinding flash of the obvious is that the reasoning mind can never get us free. We can think about this, we can talk about this till our face falls off. We will wind up knowing that we are victims, and we are excused for behaving the way we are behaving because we are victims...which will ensure that we forever stay victims because we are victims, and it is not our fault.

A victim (and we are all to some degree victims) feels s/he has a built-in, infallible excuse...and who would willingly give that up? I used to half-jokingly say that having someone to blame is perfect peace. Imagine my chagrin when I found that having someone to blame only keeps the pain alive and growing.

Accepting unto absolute surrender that we are the source of all our woes, that everything happens by invitation only, is freedom's gateway...the gateway to learning that accepting responsibility for our past without excuses is the only freedom...that's where we begin to learn to love and laugh freely.

Sexually abused children have the hardest time with this. The trouble is that it is so understandable that sexually abused children would have the hardest time with this. But sexually abused or Holocaust survivor or simply born feeling unwanted, unloved, unneeded and unappreciated...the answer is always the same: We must go beyond reason to love.

We learn to turn to a higher power. Some are blessed by being rocketed into the fourth dimension, some simply make a decision to turn themselves over to God consciousness. There we are released from our ego-victory needs. There we learn that God does not see as we see...in fact, it's paradoxical,  but it seems God sees in the exact reverse to our reasoning mind sight. That which is a curse to us, given to God, becomes our blessing.

That's where we start...our first tiny step in letting go of our want to keep a fail-safe excuse in our back pocket, i.e., our victimhood. In that higher consciousness, we  are released from the ego's need to remain a victim, excused from responsibility for our now behavior, our here and now daily being.

The paradox, of course, is that living in God consciousness we no longer need to have a fail-safe excuse...we are living free in the knowledge that God can and will intervene in our life in our  behalf.

Thank You.

IS DISRESPECT THE ROOT OF ALL ANGER?

[This is a reprint of my blog of December 23, 2008.]

I’m convinced that it’s all about respect, that disrespect is at the core of 99% of all anger, including war.

I used to natter at myself about being more loving…until one day I realized I did not know what that meant. Be nicer? Be more complimentary? Smile more? None of those fit. So I decided as a start I could try to feel some respect toward people in general.

Looking back I can see various turning points in my life where I started the process of growing up…by putting forth some respect.

One of those times, some 25 years ago, I was the office manager of a small publishing office. And I got no respect. And I gave no respect. One reporter, in particular, gave me grief on a daily basis, which, of course, means I gave him grief, etc. Tit-for-tat, an eye-for-an-eye all the way.

Every day I would go home with variations on one thought circling in my mind…”He treats me like I’m a gofer,” “He thinks I’m a gofer,” “He acts like I’m a gofer.”

This went on and on and on, until one day the single thought came to me…what’s so bad about being a gofer? Gofer is just another word for “server” which I’d been praying to become. (I, however, was praying to become a Server of The People…big difference.) 

So the next day, as I’m on my way to Xerox a page, I walked by the reporter, and there laying on the corner of his desk was a sheet of paper with a little yellow sticky in the corner with “2 X” written on it.

Before I could think it over, I asked, “May I Xerox this for you?”

Looking stunned, or more like, highly suspicious, he simply nodded, and I made the copies for him.

Long/short, that broke the ugly.

We became friends, and when I had a major operation a couple years later, he came to visit and with his wife brought me a covered dish. And when we both moved on to other offices, he and I hugged, laughed and cried together.

Being the first to show respect when I’m feeling disrespected may be the only time I don’t want to be first. Such a simple act…such incredible rewards.

Thank you.

MY SONG TO THE WORLD

I awoke this morning with the most marvelous, utterly freeing, thought hovering over me...more in my heart or lounging in my thoughts...actually, it was more a feeling than a thought. The feeling of gratitude just whispered how blessed I am that I am no better than I ought to be, being me.

I petted and patted that thought for the longest time. It just kept feeling better, lighter, light-filled. It still feels so...I'm trying not to use freeing again, so I'll go for liberating...but freeing is the right word. Using liberating is like putting sequins on a baby's diaper...it might be pretty, but it just changes the thing.

I have my first blinding flash of the obvious grown up to be my heart's homemade acceptance prayer: Thank You that I am no better than I ought to be, being me. Amen.

I wish I could write music, I'd write that as a song and sing it for the world.

Thank You.

THE ANSWER IS IN UNKNOWING

"The realization of God is in unknowing." --  Note in my God Calling dated this date in 2005.

I read the above note and, for whatever reason, I understood that I am still not utterly open. And I wonder, what does that, utterly open, look like to me? For sure, it's not in telling my world all my facts and acts...that's just sharing one's daily life without the drama.

So, what is utterly open? What if it is open to feeling another's pain? or their glory? or their shut-down-ness? or happiness? In short, open to others.The fact is I didn't start putting my heart, soul, body and brains into the care and concern for others until fairly recently...at my age, that's like 20 or 25 years ago.

It may be that it is enough that I realize that I am not utterly open...and that I cannot find an answer in my reasoning mind to fix me. There...there's my "realization of God is in unknowing!"

In that realization is God's completion...is my humbly asking God to remove that shortcoming.

Thank You.

PRACTICE SILENCE

"Silence is the language of God." -- Fr. Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation, August 23, 2012.

Thank You.

WITH EYES UNCLOUDED BY LONGING

In my readings this morning a phrase from the Tao te Ching, "with eyes unclouded by longing," spoke to me, and I knew that was what I need to seek. That thought brought me a blinding flash of the obvious: To seek eyes unclouded by longing is an oxymoron.

To seek self-determined objectives equals that first drink to an alcoholic, resulting in a never-ending thirst. The sought after becomes unattainable and the desire becomes insatiable, our only focus and thus our only God.

Stand still and acknowledge: I AM that which I am seeking.

Thank You.

WITH LOVE IN OUR HEART

There was a time when I read about living one's life with love...directed by love...that I thought that meant letting others be as mean as they wanted to be to me.

What a great gettin' up morning it was when I realized that that is not loving, that is kowtowing, which is just another control method. Since that time, my life has been and is about learning to say "No," with love in my heart...which is all about learning to live my life without regrets.

Note that I say "my life is about learning," not "I learned." Nothing in my life is past tense...spiritual growth is ongoing or it is not growth, it is dogma. Spiritual conditioning leads us back to patience and forgiveness when all our human conditioning is crying for retaliation. 

Another gift comes when we accept that our ego, legislating for itself, will always "forget" and demand retaliation. It is our responsibility to remember (sooner rather than later) that God is more powerful than our ego, that our answer is in spiritual principles.

We breath our "thank You" and go forward without a resentment which is all the cry for retaliation  is...a resentment aborning.

Thank You.

FEAR...MY MOTIVATOR, MY ANGEL

I realized this morning that my reasoning mind is ready, willing...almost eager for this life...for my life...to be over.

When that thought flitted through my mind, I started examining me for the why?, the what's going on that I'm not aware of?

I honestly and completely know that I have no dissatisfaction with my life. I have never been happier, more comfortable within my own skin, more at peace within and without myself. Never have I had more true and loving friends. I have enough to meet my needs...plus I have Ruckus for whom all right-thinking people envy me.

Fortunately, long ago I came to understand that there are two emotions from which all else stems: love and fear. If I'm feeling good about anything, it's love; if I'm feeling not good about anything, it's fear. So my dig started with...what do I fear about living longer? What's the mosquito spoiling my day at the beach?

And there it is, my lifelong nemesis...being left alone. I fear being left alone. Left alone to fend (or not) for myself, dependent on the Aunt Stellas of the world. Aunt Stella being the coldest, most self-absorbed, truly most heartless person I've ever known. Aunt Stella was a nurse.

When fear is my motivator, I get to walk toward it. How do I do that here?

I invite the mental picture of the absolute worst-case for me personally. I see me, mute and paralyzed, on a hospital bed at an uncare center at age 100+ with Aunt Stella as my caretaker.

In the midst of that mental picture, I feel God enfolding me...I know God can and will enfold me in his loving care, and I will feel loved because I am love. I feel utterly protected, safe, at peace and free.

Geez, I almost welcome getting there.

Thank You.

ON LEARNING HOW TO REJECT...WITH LOVE

A great teacher once told me that I needed to learn how to reject or I would never be able to accept rejection.

I understand today that rejection is simply a part of life. There are those of us who go around all but bragging that our greatest fear is fear of rejection. I wonder if that isn't just justification in order to reject first to keep from being rejected because we never learned (chose not to learn) how to make healthy choices in relationships.

The great lesson is that there is a spiritual base in rejecting...it must be done with love, with no malice or payback in our heart, nor can it have any shut-down to keep from feeling. Obviously, the spiritual base in rejecting requires conscious contact with God. The reasoning mind way allows our ego to lead and ego always legislates for itself...malice, payback and shut-down are its weapons.

In my learning how to reject, I had what I thought was a brilliant go-to phrase for letting go of those with whom there was no longer a comfortable fit...just learn to say, after chatting yet again about our discord, "Good luck, God bless, good-bye," and leave. That worked at first. I came to see that it worked because I was so afraid at first that I hung on to God and truly spoke with love.

The fact that it worked so well is exactly where and when ego slipped in, taking all credit, and my phrase became my self-determined objective with no heart, no love...just my comfort and my convenience as my goal. There is no God in that.

That it worked so well at first told me I'd best study the situation. I had to look not at the phrase, but at me...at the fact that my comfort and convenience had moved into first place. At the fact that when I first said it, I was most concerned for the other's feelings, the other's comfort. There's where God is.

It's the old lesson relearned...there are two paths for learning every one lesson...the reasoning mind, ego-victory, path and the spiritual, of God, path.

The ego-victory way can get us there, big time, and looking good...but we've always got to watch our back because the zapper will return and with mud all over it. On God's path we might not have our world envious of our victory, but our head and our heart are at peace...for God has our back.

Thank You.

SELF OVERCOME, ENEMY SUBDUED

[The following is a blog of mine from December 12, 2011.]

To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.– Sun Tzu

To ever have peace of mind to any degree at all, I had to accept that I must give up fighting anything and anybody.

Acceptance of that fact is a daily reconsider unto recommitment for me. Because it all starts with making peace with my own fear thoughts…fear, I believe, starts in my reasoning mind, my ego.

The key in giving up fighting all things and all people is the word "fighting"…there must be something or someone to push against to have a fight.

To me, Sun Tzu’s “subdue the enemy” points me away from my reasoning mind (hoping for an ego victory) toward the realization that the enemy is me and thee both together.

Turning to the One same power in that single enemy opens both of us to the great power of love…self is overcome, the enemy is subdued. We both walk away winners.

Thank You.

IT IS ANOTHER PARADOX

Learning to live with others' well-bring as primary in our heart is ego resistance in depth...and, therefore, usually feels wrong, unhealthy, even unself-esteemable...especially if that other is someone we're not too crazy about to begin with...times 100 if that someone gives the slightest vibe of resistance to us.

From my eyebrows up, at least, I am open to this practice...it's the consistently doing it that trips me up. As in, after the first few times of being non-resistant (not have any self-determined objective except a welcoming heart), my ego usually declares, "Enough...been there, done that, now the other gets to step and fetch for me."

Again, still, always it is for me to keep the focus on me, my reaction...because nothing else makes it so clear what the problem is, and it sure ain't the other. Here's exactly why ego reduction in depth is so difficult...it seems never-ending when we are in fact just getting started.

The most important fact to remember: When there is no spiritual principle behind our actions, when our self-determined objective is either self-protection or currying the favor of another, putting another's welfare first can be a fast track to doormat. When we remember that spiritual principles can solve all our problems...ah, there it is There's our answer.

The prayer of St. Francis comes to mind here, especially where we pray not to seek to be loved but to love, not to be understood, but to understand, not to be forgiven but to forgive. That is putting others' well-being first...which is not possible for our reasoning mind. We must go beyond reason to love.

Thank You.

FREEING MY OWN MIND

[The following is a blog of mine that ran on September 18, 2009.]

I bring good news. In my 23rd Psalm meditation, I’ve tried substituting the name of a friend for “The Lord is my shepherd.” For a few days now I’ve used his name as my shepherd.

My friend and I had been close, and I had absolutely nothing against him until he became very resistant to me…correcting me in mid-sentence, interrupting me, setting me straight. When I asked him if we could get clear, he agreed, but the situation became more muddled. So I’ve been practicing conscious non-resistance…not negatively resisting (responding in kind), not currying his favor (people pleasing), just not responding within me/without me.

This morning, after my meditation as I was journaling, I saw clearly that it was his fear, and what the fear was, that was the divider. His fear had come across to me as resentment. I had been alternating between examining myself, trying to figure out what I’d done to cause him to resent me, and attacking him in my mind.

I felt real compassion because it is a fear I have known…and it doesn’t really matter whether it is fear of rejection, fear of being left out, what the fear is AFTER you are able to name the fear.

More important to me, I could accept that it is not mine to fix…I can let him walk free in my own mind. He may come to see it as the fear I see it as, and he may never see it the way I do.

Most important to me, I broke free of my own attachment…it really had nothing to do with him.

Thank You.

GOD DOES NOT NEED MY PERMISSION

I've found an old daily journal of mine wherein, on September 4, 1988, I had written: "It is not having everything in life go smoothly that shows forth a good spiritual condition...it is when things go awry and I go smoothly that shows forth a good spiritual condition."

That was news to me then, a blinding flash of the obvious I didn't inwardly realize as such. No doubt I'd heard it, read it, agreed and disagreed with it (probably both at the same time), but I had not realized it. My realization began with my noting it in my book.

I prove the truth of that now without thought...which answers my fairly recent apprehensive question of myself of whether I use my BFOs or just let them lay fallow and go on doing the s.o.s.o. I've ever done.

I love how God gets in touch with me. I'd forgotten I'd scared myself with that question, but it'd clearly made a little nest in my subconscious with which to surprise me later. I read that note and smiled in relief...more proof of God living me with or without my awareness.

Thank You.

IT IS COSMIC

It is never about money. When "abundance" is mentioned in a spiritual context at anytime, by anyone, anywhere, remember: It is never about money.

Unto everyone that hath [love, kindness, patience, compassion, etc.], shall be given and he shall have abundance [attracting more love, kindness, patience, compassion, etc.]; but from him that hath not [love, kindness, patience, compassion, etc., and is, therefore, self-filled] shall be taken away even that which he hath [our miserly supply of love, kindness, patience, compassion, etc.].

When self is our focus, self is the god of our understanding, and there can be no sustained peace there...no matter our financial condition.

It is never about money. Money is a by-product, attracted to us by our own other-oriented consciousness of giving love, kindness, patience, compassion, etc.

Thank You.

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

I wonder often at the resistance people give to the idea that "the meek shall inherit the earth." "Meek," in this world, is not a much sought-after attribute.

I've heard some fairly angry jabber about "the meek shall inherit the earth" not meaning what it says...which also makes me wonder why, when we disagree with something, do we first assume that it's either a misquote or that it means something the exact opposite of that which it says?

I take great heart that the meek, or even the weak, shall inherit the earth...probably because I may not be meek, but weak...yeah, I qualify for weak.

I just see the strong killing each other off trying to prove that they're stronger, righter, better than others, who are killing each other off trying to prove etc. Because that seems to be what's happening and has ever happened.

My punchline for not accepting that the meek inherit the earth: In the end we're down to the last two, and each is trying to prove to the other that s/he is not as meek as the other...stronger, righter, better...in charge, in fact. And wind up killing each other off. I doubt that's God's Plan for how the world will end...but it gives me cause to pause.

I say we either make peace with meek...which is just another way of saying "agreeable," as in, the agreeable will inherit the earth...or we die fighting to prove we're in charge here. Which, of course, we never were and never will be. There. A cheap shot of gratitude.

Thank You.

MATURITY IS KNOWING WHEN TO MOVE ON

The greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally unsolvable. They can never be solved, but only outgrown. -- Carl Jung

I first read that and was impressed at its depth. Even saved it to ponder later. Now I'm pondering, and I've got to wonder...is it true? Did Jung prove it? How?

When he refers to "the greatest and most important problems of life," is he referring to my personal great and important problems or universal great and important problems? Because it seems to me if I can outgrow mine, they are solved to me. 

Exactly what would qualify as a universal great and important problem? Somewhere in the Bible it says that the poor are always with us, besides you don't outgrow poor. There have always been, will always be, floods and famine...again, those aren't outgrowable.

Whether Jung proved it or not is immaterial to me really. I just need to realize...remember, really...that I get impressed with deep sounding stuff from famous people, then feel like I'm either doing "it" wrong, or I'm never going to "get it." I got it. 

I got what I need to guide me in living a more productive life with a clear and easy conscience. Mainly because my goal today is to live so that I may be of help to others according to their needs...that may be it. Having "outgrown" (which I call "made peace with") my greatest and most important problems of life, I can help others make peace with their own. Close enough.

Thank You. 

GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME

I love to find day-to-day happenings that show me God loves me. I've got two biggies.

The U.S. Open began this past Monday, August 27, and will run through next Sunday, September 9.

The Republican National Convention ran August 27 through August 30; the Democratic National Convention runs  September 4 through September 7.

I do not have to watch one minute of either of the conventions, not through deliberately avoiding them...I just have something much better to watch.

My spiritual growth comes in many different forms, and I thank You, repeatedly.