In re my April 30, 2025, 3:00 AM bolt to my belly, the thought has occurred to me, and is growing. that that was my Awakening.
I went for physical fix first and got turned around by repeatedly hitting a blank wall with doctors. It probably is too soon to make a solid reckoning, but I am becoming aware of my Journey in this.
I was push-pulled from doctor to doctor, and I got nada. Then on May 28th I saw a shrink for 2-1/2 hours. He diagnosed me as having my already known Intense Anxiety Disorder, but definitely not dementia, my inner fear. I was not wholly freed, still have anxiety attacks but that confirmed the IAD.
All of which has firmed up my sense of this as my Initiation deepening...possibly shedding the need for more in-depth material-mind work. I will be led...am being led...am comfortable with letting this be the likely leg of my Journey that I am to walk now.
If I am off, I will be shown...with love and laughter.
[We are called to] a deeper, bigger, and scarier level of freedom: inner, outer, personal, economic, structural, and spiritual. Surely this is the task of our entire lifetime. -- Fr Richard Rohr
Thank you.
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