Learning the lessons we need to learn...as in Eckhart's if the only prayer you pray in your life is thank you, that would suffice.
My yesterday's post has a line that all but jumped me this morning...namely, Ah, but now...now! Bob goes out without so much as a by your leave. I then described my budding resentment at being left out.Reading that, I was stunned by the memory, the realization, that I sent no get-well cards to either Jim or Bob...no e-mails wishing well, thoughts and prayers, nada. Thoughtlessness, maybe...it is always suspect. But I know better...I know deeper. I truly cared for each, yet I showed them nothing when they needed it most.
My recent flashback of ignoring my brother Paul as he was dying flickers, as I fled past him in his hospital bed...pretending I neither saw nor heard him. Today's behavior is the same.
Again I see how much death did and does play a part in my life as today. There is no rational explanation for my total noncommunication with Jim and Bob... precisely as I was with Paul who was my hero, and he was dying.
Denial is obvious if we stay strictly on the psychological level, but the spiritual way asks for more, go deeper to go higher.
My moment of remembering Jim and realizing unselfed love...of knowing God there...halos Bob.
Unselfed love continues to grow, to sprout wings and to fly, encompassing all...spiritually ensuring still more will be revealed.
Thank you.
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