WHAT IF LIFE IS THE CRUCIBLE?

Early morning thought: I need know naught ahead of time.

Fr Richard today is all about St. Francis's conversion, his renouncing all and beginning life again, dirt poor and dwelling with the less-thans...and I wondered: Is this the path I am already on...or me giving me airs?

I only wonder if this is the path I'm on in context to my today's world...me, as and with the poor pitifuls who are drawn by and to me, Lennie, Bethanne, Peter, James, Marilou, et al. I say welcome to all, but what do I DO for any? 

Then I read: Either the human being must suffer and struggle as the price of a more searching vision, or his gaze must be shallow and without intellectual revelation. - Thomas de Quincey 

I saw I previously had underlined that, which tells me I am staying in the shallow, without intellectual revelation...ah, but is intellectual revelation that which I seek? 

This is where the reasoning mind shows its worth, It is important, it is essential...materially and spiritually...specifically, questioning if this is still more spiritual growth or ego strutting its stuff!

I wonder if our elevated reasoning mind is our crucible, out of which emerges our inner and own divine self-acceptance. (That consciousness to which we are even now rising, this very morning's BFO.)

At one time I could and did trust the Spirit to lead me...I said that freely to/for myself often and oftener. I don't say that aloud today...either I'm dreading or I'm hoping because I am in the crucible. If that be even close, it may be that the Spirit is leading me at a much deeper level today, with me in the crucible...still trying. 

Thy will, not mine, please and thank you.

Thank you.