FRET NOT...LOVE ALL...WALK FREER

A spiritual path that does not lead to a living commitment to the coming will of God, to the present Reign of God, to the Kingdom of God within and around us everywhere for everyone, is no path at all. --  Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, October 18, 2022 

I doubt not that is truth...the rest of the story for me is: We walk that spiritual path not by conscious thought but by spiritual discernment. In other words, from within out. 

We do not recognize it as such when we are just putting one foot in front of the other in our material world awareness, but there are times when we have gone against our baser wants utterly unaware that we did the right thing or took the right action. There...our proof that we now live not by thought but by spiritual intuity.

Then again, there are times when we make a less-than-best decision. These are the times when thank you earns its keep. As soon as we realize our error, we out loud admit it, pray thank you, and trust our Self, and counsel with another, to turn us around. 

Paradoxically it is these times, the stumble, trip and fall times, that become our spiritual growth spurts. As Fr Richard says, "We don't get to God by doing it right, we get to God by doing it wrong."

The lesson we are so slow to learn is that beating ourself for our stumbles is flat-out ego...inviting our ego's happy dance. Praising our error rather than regretting it goes against common sense, or our reasoning mind. But God's will goes against common sense if we're doing it right. Ego masquerades as God's guidance every chance it gets, our regretting is ego's little helper. 

Here's where we learn to pray thank you not only for our misstep but for ego itself. We show it some love and discover yet another paradox...giving ego our thank you peaces it for Now. Ego lives in resistance...with nothing to resist, it is quieted. 

When we can live that, live nonresistant, we breathe freer.

Thank you.

TO HUMBLY LOVE, THE EVER RESOLUTION

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings..."humbly" is where the exchanged mind is realized.  

We have begun to understand that the ask "to remove" is not "to eradicate" our defects of character, now known as shortcomings, but the ask is to teach us to humbly love everything. To humbly love our defects, shortcomings, ego...all. There are no exceptions...acceptance, a.k.a., humble love, is the solution...the resolution.

We are learning to humbly love all for there rests our answer to how much we need to learn. Acceptance, nonresistance, leads the way. 

With nothing resisting it, ego has no foothold and recedes...to return on call for that is the human condition. We are grateful knowing that the humble love of still more spiritual growth awaits.  

We pray our thank you and walk freer.

Thank you.

EGO DEFLATION IN DEPTH...LOVE IT AND LAUGH

I led a fellowship meeting yesterday on being entirely ready to have God remove all of our defects of character. I looked forward to it, to sharing my experience with my TIA and my resistance to the meds prescribed, and realizing that was all about God removing my self-determined objectives.

That lead went over their heads like a hairnet...as in, I was met with ego deflation in depth. Or, I felt deflated in depth.

I recognize now that the hurting-est part of my feelings during the meeting were all about what the others thought of me, of my lead, of how less-than they were seeing me, of me of me of me. 

Almost immediately after the meeting, the healing began with a knowing that this deflation was for my benefit, and I needed to thank my ego for it...show it some love. And I thought no more of it. (There's God's grace on the hoof, seriously.)

This morning I feel myself welcoming the deflation, the less-than feelings, and by welcoming, I mean, I'm grinning and groaning at the same time...like in relief! That's when I had the BFO:  Love your enemy as yourself...if my ego is my enemy, love it!

That being true, I get to love (forgive? As Fr Richard says, forgiveness is simply the religious word for letting go)...I get to love my ego in my heart not by words so much but more by laughter. Acceptance lives in laughter, and we cannot laugh without love. 

Lessons learned...God lives in ego deflation in depth, too. Welcome it with love and laughter.

Thank you.

EMBARRASSMENT...GOD'S PEARL IN DISGUISE

I seem to be in the process of having my mind changed...not against my will, but without my even being consulted. 

I cannot quote the exact wording, but here's my interpretation of what I heard recently: "We must not hide our spiritual assets...they may be what fulfills anothers' need. This is not permission to preach...it simply allows for our reasoning mind to take a back seat to our raised consciousness."

We recall again that nothing is original to us...with the expanded realization that every word from our mouth must originate in our own consciousness. We learn early, and relearn often, that our raised consciousness is not in our control...It speaks, we blink in wonder, then silently pray our thank you.

Ours is to prime the pump of our consciousness to speak Its own words...risking failure, i.e., a red face. Ah, embarrassment, the well-hidden pearl beyond price...when we can laugh at our own self and love it. 

I'm convinced embarrassment does more work for God than all our sincere efforts. Only God could convince us to laugh at our own self...in public and unself-defended.

Embarrassment rivals fear for sending us to God quick, fast and in a hurry...lifted into raised consciousness, it is of God, changed from a minus to a plus. Ah, egoic mortification exchanged for spiritual love and laughter. 

God's will...always and all ways.

Thank you.

WE BEGIN AGAIN...AND YET AGAIN

Our rough and rutted road becomes our rough and rocky road...the rocks become pebbles, the pebbles become grains of sand. Each rut, rock, pebble, grain being the will of God leading us back to him. Curse them not, praise with thank you, for we cannot move from rut to rock to pebble to sand before we realize God in each, each time. -- A recent blinding flash of the obvious

Reading this morning of Dr. King's consciousness of nonviolence, reminded me of that recent BFO. Nonviolence is nonresistance is living our self, stripped of self. Offering impersonal rather than personal love, understanding, acceptance. 

Personal love seeks to get...impersonal love only gives. 

There it is, the entirety of our thinking that we seek still more spiritual growth. We read Rohr, Goldsmith, et al., we try to practice what we read, we expect spiritual growth...an unrough, unrocky road...which is simply our idea of the good life. 

We discover spiritual growth does not deliver our idea of the good life, i.e., sex, society and security wrapped in sunshine, rainbows and roses. 

Spiritual growth delivers our self, our less-than-wonderful self, that me that so needs to discover within the love we  seek. We are the friend who betrays us, the love who leaves us, the sure-thing investment that goes broke, the stranger who robs us. Each and every time. 

We need to quit kidding ourself that we are seeking still more spiritual growth while we hold to any idea of what that looks like to us personally...no matter what spiritual treatises we follow, including the Sermon on the Mount. We read in order to get the right idea which we attempt to walk....until we crash and burn. 

Even common sense knows that humbly does not come dressed in diamonds and pearls for all the world to see. If we're doing it right, we experience pain, shame, hurt, humiliation...or, the shucking of our shields. That is the way as...if...we humbly seek the God of our own understanding. 

When we realize that God lives within...not just know, but realize...we have kissed our own self on the lips, hugged her and kissed him, and let them go.  

Our search for still more spiritual growth has just begun.

Thank you.

LET THE HOLY SPIRIT...LET! THE HOLY SPIRIT

The one thing necessary is a true interior and spiritual life, true growth, on my own, in depth in a new direction. Whatever new direction God opens up for me. -- Toward a Theology of Love, The Pocket Thomas Merton, p. 151

The way of conquest over the material, the temporal, which all My disciples should know, is learned by the conquest of the physical, the self-life, in each of you. -- God Calling, October 25

Both of these quotes point to the necessity of interior change, or still more spiritual growth. But we need fret not...our mind is being changed whether we know it or not.  

All else is beside the point even as we acknowledge, and give props to, "all else" as making up our daily living. We are not saints comes to mind. However, when we can accept our day-to-day life as pretty much go along to get along, our life becomes secondary to our peace of mind...our inner self. 

Our changed mind has become our exchanged mind...the m of me is turned over, becoming the w of we.

It is our commitment to still more spiritual growth that allows us to detach from the egoic hold on being right...or rigid, righteous and right, the bane of spiritual growth. 

Merton wrote of his further need to grow interiorly: ....to seek an entirely new perspective and new dimension in my life. To open up new horizons at any cost, to desire this and let the Holy Spirit take care of the rest. 

" ...and let the Holy Spirit take care of the rest."  Thank you.

Thank you.

LIVE NOT TO GET LOVE BUT TO GIVE LOVE

Gandhi insisted that the creative force of the universe, love, is the force that we humans must learn to exercise because that force is the only force that can cause the human race to do God’s will. -- Fr Richard Rohr's Daily Mediation, October 24, 2022

Well. And whoa. Off the top of my head, there is the answer, The answer that I've sought for-seems-like-ever...i.e., love, universal impersonal love. 

My question, how do I get God's will, Love? 

Things I've tried: The brain...as in, figuring it out; self-will...as in, doing what I want to do, hoping it is God's will; wishful thinking...as in, doing nothing for fear of being wrong, wishing that would work...etc., etc., etc.

Things I've thought would work:  Acting sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous...in order to get love, or more truthfully, to get my idea of love. Love is not about getting it, love is about giving it...to get is a self-determined objective, not of God. 

My question, now: How do I do God's will, Love? 

The answer:  ...the creative force of the universe, love, is the force that we humans must learn to exercise because that force is the only force that can cause the human race to do God’s will. 

We already have it! Love...we must give it away to keep it.

Thank you.

OUR NEED IS GOD IN CAMOUFLAGE

Very few of us have the largess, the magnanimity to just decide to be loving. Someone has to ask it of us. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, October 20, 2022

The human condition is born in and shaped by the reasoning mind...it does not hold the perfect goodness to decide to be loving and to succeed at it for that is a self-determined objective, and our need is to seek the perfect objective which is of God.

It is when we find our self facing a need that the decision is offered us: Seek to do for the benefit of another...or take cover for the egoic benefit of self.

It is our eyebrows-up need that we so fear that opens us to our spiritual need hidden within. Here is where changing our mind morphs into an exchange of mind. Our reasoning mind is lifted out of self and raised into a higher consciousness...to a living commitment to do the will of God.

Slowly we accept the fact that we will forget, we will stumble, we will need to seek help...ah, God's pearl...our own need lives in higher consciousness.

I do believe consciousness is the deepest level of reality. -- Fr Richard Rohr

Thank you.

LEGIMATE SUFFERING IS THE REWARD

Long-ago blinding flash of the obvious: If we do not grow spiritually, welcoming ego reduction in depth, then ego-victory thinking will be our guide, and ego-invited pain will be our reward.

Our "reward" will cause us to miss the gift of what Fr Richard defines as "legitimate suffering." 

According to me, legitimate suffering is of God. In the moment, it hurts as much as egoic suffering,...hurt is hurt, pain is pain...ah, but it leaves us feeling enwrapped in the peace that passes understanding. 

Egoic suffering just brings resentful pain which doubles down on us until by grace and by God, we can let it go.

Thank you. 

  

NOT A CHANGE, AN EXCHANGE, OF MIND

Blinding flash of the obvious: Life's great ask, that we change our mind, is not that our mind be changed but exchanged.

To change our mind can be necessary and healthy...or not so much...or not at all. That's the egoic mind for you. However, a spiritual change of mind is not of self, it is of God. It is a transformation by which we are moved from reasoning mind to higher consciousness. 

To agree that you are right, I am wrong, is to stay in the reasoning mind. Hard as it is to keep a shut mouth, Scotch tape would work just as well...it is self not God taking the action. 

Our exchanged mind happens through transformation...released from its limitations to merge with God consciousness where there is no right/wrong, i.e., self, to have a self-determined objective...there is simply the will of God. 

There it is, the answer, no matter the question: God's will.

We are taught to make a decision to detach from our will, in effect, to  seek God's will. Now. If we're stuck in "not yet," we'd do well to consider, if not Now, when?

Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven....

Thank you

GRACE IS JOY...GUILT BIRTHS SHAME & BLAME

I have said for years that I am the source of all my woes...truer words never spoken...and yet the thought of being the source of all my joy? No...has never entered my mind. Just thinking that, "I am the source of all my joy," seemed a tish too selfed. 

We tend to think of joy as being brought to us...by another's gift, by the weather, by a kind word, by something other than our own self. And yet, once we caught the concept of owning our self, being the source of all our woes became as natural to us as our next breath. We no longer need, can no longer seek, someone to blame. 

But joy? I have stood still and felt filled with joy and shot my thank you to whomever or whatever I knew had gifted me. I do not recall ever feeling joy from my toenails up and inner knowing I was the source of that joy. 

Ah, the bark comes off the vine: Joy is shared, cannot be singular...shame is ours alone, singular by self-centered guilt. Shame hides alone in our dark corners while joy jumps, shouts and showers love and laughter from within out.

BFO: Only when the spiritual I transforms the egoic I, does I am awaken as the source of all our joy, and God's will lives. 

I Am the source of all my joy.

Thank you.

ACCEPTANCE...HE GOES BEFORE US

My definition of acceptance...If we're looking out there, we're looking in the wrong direction. 

We are taught that acceptance is the answer, no matter the question. We seldom remember that acceptance is just a pretty word for surrender. We seldom remember because the word surrender is so feared that we can't even look it in the eye and call it by its real name: Loser. 

Once we've quit fighting...crashed and burned...we are lifted from the ashes into the love and laughter of knowing ourself as a "loser," now meaning "spiritual winner."

What's more expensive than humility? Nothing! What brings more joy to our heart and Soul? Nothing! How do we get there? Thank you.

What a lesson! Spiritual in nature...egoic mind cannot comprehend it and revolts in denial. Only by losing and accepting/admitting to it, do we Be a spiritual winner, do we begin to reap the peace we have sought...the joy of life itself, our life, my life, me, on the way to becoming we. 

Our reasoning mind's projected rough and rutted road that we have so long denied through dread is transmuted by our losing to become our sliver of gold, or God's promised truth: He goes before us to make the crooked places straight.

Thank you.

MY GRACE IS THY SUFFICIENCY, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of  December 6, 2014.]

My grace is sufficient for thee.

God’s grace is always available. It is not waiting for me to do, think, say some special thing…to earn it. Grace is mine now. God’s grace is the sufficiency I seek…all ways and always.

Just as air is not waiting for me to earn it…it’s there for the breathing.

Thank you.

DON'T BE NASTY...LOVE AND LAUGH

In my quiet time this morning, I recalled a long-ago blinding flash of the obvious, Peaceful nonresistance is love is God. 

That called to mind my realization of the Thaddeus Golas quote, We must go beyond reason to love. Love meaning a Power greater than self...God, in a word. 

I relived my back-then recognition that we must go beyond our reasoning mind, beyond figuring it out, to unthinking, to the place where peaceful nonresistance...love, God...lives. Always and all ways.

When (not if) we are met with snark, snub, disrespect...hurt...well-grounded seekers let thank you be the healer. 

Our thank you arises from our heart without thought. According to me, to quote by rote is ego copping spiritual glory. 

Welcome hurt, harm, sickness and fear with thank you and be healed. Offer sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous and be thank you showering love and laughter. 

Lest I get too far ahead of my own self, I am reminded of Henry Mitchell's line in The Washington Post some years ago: Just try not to be as nasty as you want to be. Which, when pressed, is my go-to.

Howsomever, love and laugh and pray thank you is golden...there's no "try" in that.

Thank you.

THAT WHICH WE CURSE CAN LEAD US FREE

The old song of my spirit has wearied itself out. It has long ago been learned by heart so that now it repeats itself over and over, bringing no added joy to my days or lift to my spirit....I will sing a new song. As difficult as it is, I must learn the new song that is capable of meeting the new need. I must fashion new words born of all the new growth of my life, my mind and my spirit. I must prepare for new melodies that have never been mine before, that all that is within me may lift my voice unto God. -- theologian and mystic Howard Thurman from Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, September 24, 2022

Ah, the workings of my Spirit...when I read the above quote of Howard Thurman, it had my truth seeping out...leaping out...from/to me. And I felt a tish down...leery, apprehensive, fancy words for scared.

My mindset has been changing since then...meaning I have unknowingly been changing within and just now daring to believe. Subject to doubtful wonder every step of the way...apparently.

As I have said, and surely will continue to note, on turning 80. my me became new, different, unknown to me. I may be putting on airs, but I choose to believe that this is what Fr Richard describes as being in a liminal space; i.e., "The edge of things is a liminal space—a holy place or, as the Celts called it, 'a thin place.'"

My liminal space feels like me moving inwardly from one place to another...inside deep to inside deeper, higher.

I can feel a transitioning from my spiritual-reasoning safety zone to My spiritual-reasoning unknown place. To ponder that is to cause anxiety, and there it is... the very How-To of it...how it is that my oft-cursed anxiety is my spiritual guide in masquerade.

By grace and by God, that which we curse can lead us free. 

Thank you.

TO NOT KNOW...OUR HOLY GRAIL

Well-grounded people, with God's grace, seem to be able to take their calamities of life in stride and turn them into their demonstrations of faith. -- Anonymous

We are well-grounded people, and with God's grace, we do take our life's calamity du jour in stride and turn it into our demonstration of faith. Accepting how we do that is the test of our belief in our belief. 

Rarely does our own calamity come to us resembling another's...which often leads to our feeling and fear of being left all alone. Recognizing that our calamities represent chores on the road to becoming our pearl beyond price is the necessary eye-opener...and how we do that forms our life as fed by our inner understanding of God. 

In awakening, we find that the deeper we go on the path the more our calamities of life seem to merge with others. It is the unidentical-but-alike calamity that borns Oneness. That is of God and is born in our unknowing...actually, in our resistance to not knowing.

We realize, each in our time, that to not know is our holy grail. To not know is the burr, the burn, the hated that drives us, leading us finally to the great comforter: Underneath are the everlasting arms. 

Silently we hear,  All is well, all is well, all is well with my soul.

Thank you.

HUMILITY...THE DREADED PEARL BEYOND PRICE

We seek to love and to be loved...until we learn what that entails (and how we "entail" it), it's pretty, but, in truth, just another want gone wanting.

Stripped down naked, to love and to be loved means to resist not...acceptance in a word. To accept with ease the life we invite in, the diamonds and rust, the glory and the gore, is God-guided, is love.

We humans, being we humans, must go through the process of self-willing...driving our own bus...until we crash and burn. Trying to do good, be forgiving, love the personally unlovable is an exercise in humility...which we don't get to appreciate until after we've experienced failure and the feeling of humiliation, which is simply humility a-borning, according to me.

Is there anything more expensive than humility? Who's kidding whom...we do not have the "coin of the realm." Which puts the period to it: Humility is of God...go to God and be peaced, or Oned. 

To quote Fr Richard...again...We don't get to God by doing it right, we get to God by doing it wrong.

Thank you.

ON BEING FREE...NOW BELIEVE IT

To walk free in my own head. That is my one, my only, my unifying goal.

Ah, my innocence on parade. That is a desire I posted sometime in 2016 and believed in it then from my toenails up. 

Since then, I have been in the process of becoming aware that I am free in my own head...that it is my own ideas, opinions in fact, that must needs be upgraded.

I once considered "free in my own head" to be perfect peace. Then dementia came into being and,  irony on the hoof, scared the bejesus out of me. I had to examine just what "perfect peace" looked like to me, and I found it to be right next door to brain-dead...with me trying to smile through.

When we commit to seeking still more spiritual growth, we learn...slowly slowly slowly...we must divorce ourself from our own opinions, wants, desires. 

We find we must cede all egoic wants, prettified ideas, or even horrific ones, about spiritual growth...give over, give up, give in is just a phrase until we are married to it through that spiritual growth. Over which we have no conscious control. 

We can't give over to God and hold on to...anything, even (especially?) spiritual ideas.

Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things shall be added unto you. 

It would be better (for me) if "all these things shall be added unto you" had not been mentioned. That promise just has my ego wallowing in want...with the kingdom of heaven lost in the wallow. Which, if still more spiritual growth is my honest goal, is another "for my benefit."

Thank you.

A CHARACTER DEFECT...AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE

Only after God has taught us how to live “undefended” can we immediately stand with and for others, and for the moment. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, October 10, 2022

Whoa. To live undefended is God's will for us? God's goal in fact? 

On reflection, that is not new news...we are learning that from the git-go...what else is resist not evil? Ah, but having it enter my eyes at 5:00 AM...undefended so to speak...now that's a wake-up call.  

This period of transformation or transition or just growing up that I am going through...calling it "initiation" and hoping that it is not just me putting on airs...is filled with doubtful exhilaration. Meaning my ego will drag foot every step of the way until the Spirit lifts me up deeper, and I am peaced. 

I am peaced when I can love it and laugh...and see me yet again taking myself too seriously. There. My foundational character defect proving herself as my angel in disguise...still, yet, again. Thank you, precious angel.

All things work together for our good. Whether we know it or not.

Thank you.

FREE TO BE LEAST

My morning blinding flash of the obvious: We seek the least not to lead them higher but for them to lead us ever deeper into the highest place...shucked of ego, there is God.

Ah, we seek to be least, not by self-will but by the hidden will of the Father within, to draw us to the higher consciousness of the Father...to lift us deeper into higher consciousness.

The "least" is the seeker being shamed and blamed...rightly or wrongly...before their world's eyes, knowing "I shall not want" is always having enough but still incapable of living that truth, regretfully heading down that wrong road again not realizing this is the right road.

The right road is God's road to glory, the rough and rutted road littered with our personal rues, regrets and remorses, all of which are our personal slivers of gold. 

As we trudge this road, our personal remorses are transformed into the light which deprives ego of life...the light showing us the glory of being least among many, and we are empowered by our powerlessnes. Free to Be.

Thank you.

LOVE THE PROBLEM...AGAIN

[The following is a reprint of my post of November 11, 2014.]

We're told the answer is to always love and laugh. The secret is in realizing that we need to love the problem, laugh at the discord...when we realize that, there is no problem, no discord.

Intellectually understanding that gets us bubkes...if we stay there in the intellectual understanding. It is in the realization of that truth whereby the transition takes place.

When we realize the truth in life's paradoxes, we are lifted into God consciousness, the fourth dimension, and the realization lives us.

Or so I am told.

Thank you.

I FEEL FEAR...AH, GOD IS HERE

My note in my God Calling on October 10, 2013: Blinding flash of the obvious -- We seek still more spiritual growth not for the knowledge but for the experience...to experience the Father within/without. Thank you.  

Of interest...if only to me...I had the very same BFO today, October 10, 2022.

Apparently, we seek to experience oneness even after we have realized oneness...often and oftener and repeatedly. We must if we are doing it right. 

There's the conundrum..."doing it right" is as we become smaller. We become smaller as our ego continues to lose ground...which our ego chaotically resists every inch of the way. 

Without still more spiritual growth...and for that matter with still more spiritual growth...our doubts, anxieties and remorses often spring forth showering gutbucket fear. Which we resist not, letting ego be reduced by its own attempts to grow larger. 

Paraphrasing Fr Richard's morning Meditation today: God offers us the grace to humbly recognize our littleness rather than to become big. Otherwise, most of our action is merely self determined, and we  cannot hear God's will for us. 

Comes again, our long-ago, still perfect, BFO: Fear is God in camouflage calling us to Him. 

Thank you. 

ON THE SOUL'S GLORY IN AGING

Some time ago, a friend forwarded me this St Alban’s church message. There's every chance that I've shared it before...I hope so...but it so perfectly fits me today that I feel compelled to share it now:

I see more clearly, now that I am aging. Not with my eyesight, but with my soul. I see the fine detail of what I missed in younger years. I see the place of faith and forgiveness in my story. I see the possibilities of life in ways I never imagined. I was not blind in my youth, but my vision was limited to only a few seasons of seeing. Now I am an old man standing on a hill. I see more clearly. The universe stretches above me in infinite glory and the Earth spreads her shawl to wrap me in creation. Open the eyes of your spirit. Look out in wonder. See the fullness of the life you have received. See the promise of love walking in beauty before you. -- Rt Rev Steven Charleston

My heart fills with joy each time I read that. 

My deep thank you to the Rt Rev Steven Charleston, and to my friend who forwarded it to me.

Thank you.

GOD RADIATES FROM WITHIN...AS LOVE

Just as a flower gives out its fragrance to whomsoever approaches or uses it, so love from within us radiates towards everybody and manifests as spontaneous service. -- Swami Ramdas

There. That is the essence of the consciousness of God to which we aspire. Just as a lily of the valley does not withhold its fragrance from the "undeserving," nor give out its fragrance to the "deserving," our higher consciousness is, just as God is. Whether we know it or not.

To self-determine to whom we will give love or even how is self, delusioned. Face it, that's a judgment dressed in ermine and pearls...pretty as a picture, and useless as teats on a bull...hug it and kiss it and let it go.

To strive, scurry, study, brow-beat and wail seeking to "get there" is not entirely useless...it keeps our focus higher. Ah, but higher in the egoic mind is still ego driving our bus seeking to get to our self-determined "there." 

We prepare...we keep our candle lit and pared, we pray thank you without ceasing, knowing every oh-no! is ego resisting love. We resist it not and go about our dailies, and that is all.     

God is available. Whatever bit, part, nugget we realize as love is close enough for God...why not us? 

Thank you.

ON BEING MOVED UP DEEPER

I suspect that my recent shares sound like I am a rank beginner. It has been disconcerting to say the least. Just this morning, comes a flash...rank beginner, too, is for welcoming, even as ego cringes. 

To welcome is an act of pure nonresistance...it is, in a word, surrender. From our own experience, we know, we recognize and realize that surrender is our personal pearl beyond price...yet our egoic mind will ever push back from it. 

We can only trust what we have learned by giving it fresh breath with our missteps and OMGs. Ah, there's the much prayed for, yet always dreaded, humility aborning. 

The blessed relief is when our unself welcomes sounding like a "rank beginner." All we've learned and BFO'd is our platform, our jumping off place. Spiritual stagnation is quoting by rote...we stagnate in self, in short. 

Our awakening shares welcome our ego-busting rank beginner within. We are being moved up deeper to a new level of spiritual growth. 

Proving again and yet again: We must go beyond reason to love.

Thank you.

BE A VESSEL...CARRY THE MESSAGE

Blinding flash of the obvious: I am a vessel. 

We are a vessel. We carry the message...the raised consciousness of spirituality...self, evaporated unto Self, our own invisible within Guide, with no rule, no restriction, no law except love. 

Ours is to ever strengthen the vessel. By our conscious awareness, the vessel becomes sturdy, solid, dependable, trustworthy...we worrit not about looking good, but we know the comfort of presenting well.

In God's good time, the vessel carries the consciousness of unselfed honest truth...seeking less not more, to follow not to lead, to shower love...spiritual love.

We are a vessel, and that is the message the vessel carries...not a self-determined message, but the perfect message which is of God. And there's our work cut out for us.

Thank you.

TO BE AT PEACE, LIVE PEACE

If nature abhors a vacuum, Christ abhors a vagueness. If God is love, Christ is love for this one person, this one place, this one time-bound and time-ravaged self. -- Christian Wiman

The words Christ is love for this one person...this one time-bound and time-ravaged self wrapped themselves around my heart...I felt the very truth in them. Which, by-the-by, feels the same as the time I read I just try not to be as nasty as I want to be and knew that for my own Golden Rule.

Every day in every way I'm proving to me that my BFO, least is best, fits me to a T. 

Go smaller, see God in the littler things, Glory is not for me...glory is. The glory of an older toothless man's smile, of the hesitation in a child's head-long rush as he allows me with my cane to slowly pass by, of any and everything I choose to notice as I go out into the world, with a mind at peace. 

We can have a mindset of peace...a mind set on giving peace cannot not be peaced. And that is all...always and all ways...peace.

Thank you.

WHAT IF LIFE IS THE CRUCIBLE?

Early morning thought: I need know naught ahead of time.

Fr Richard today is all about St. Francis's conversion, his renouncing all and beginning life again, dirt poor and dwelling with the less-thans...and I wondered: Is this the path I am already on...or me giving me airs?

I only wonder if this is the path I'm on in context to my today's world...me, as and with the poor pitifuls who are drawn by and to me, Lennie, Bethanne, Peter, James, Marilou, et al. I say welcome to all, but what do I DO for any? 

Then I read: Either the human being must suffer and struggle as the price of a more searching vision, or his gaze must be shallow and without intellectual revelation. - Thomas de Quincey 

I saw I previously had underlined that, which tells me I am staying in the shallow, without intellectual revelation...ah, but is intellectual revelation that which I seek? 

This is where the reasoning mind shows its worth, It is important, it is essential...materially and spiritually...specifically, questioning if this is still more spiritual growth or ego strutting its stuff!

I wonder if our elevated reasoning mind is our crucible, out of which emerges our inner and own divine self-acceptance. (That consciousness to which we are even now rising, this very morning's BFO.)

At one time I could and did trust the Spirit to lead me...I said that freely to/for myself often and oftener. I don't say that aloud today...either I'm dreading or I'm hoping because I am in the crucible. If that be even close, it may be that the Spirit is leading me at a much deeper level today, with me in the crucible...still trying. 

Thy will, not mine, please and thank you.

Thank you.

THIS ONE'S ON YOU, JESUS

Yesterday's blinding flash of the obvious: I must DO for Jesus. 

In my material mind, I have changed the word "Jesus" repeatedly...e.g., to "the Christ," "Lord," "God," "Higher Power." All of which are good and true words, but I need to accept the fact that changes my BFO...ego, as ever, trying to improve on the Word.

All those "other" words being good, why exclude the also good word, "Jesus?" It is fairly apparent that we in our egocentric ways have given it such a fanatical connotation...from "born again" to "demonic"...that it causes many to turn away just hearing the word. Apparently, I am one of those because I really have resisted...am resisting...using the name Jesus here and now.

Well, there it is. For all I know, this may be my turning-point lesson. Why else would a BFO come so clearly addressed? 

Of interest to me, this was followed by the passing thought: It is not enough to pray 'Come to my aid, oh Lord.' We pray those words, then sit and wait...wondering why 'my aid' has not changed to my pearl beyond price already.

It may be that I need to get specific, as in name my aid "Jesus," and then...And Then...DO for. Do for Jesus that which I am praying for.  All my needs are fairly simple, just daunting to my egoic mind. The purely material need...complete my Will and Directive. 

The biggie, the purely spiritual...to allow my heart, my Soul, my body and my brain to believe...not to cause, but to realize...that I have touched the hem. To continue to pray for it is to deny it.

I can only prove that to me by DOing, say my Will and Directive; by DOing The Talk with my doctor; by DOing any required paperwork...for all of which I have prayed, "Come to my aid, oh Lord." 

I commit to me here and now that I will start any incoming dreads with "This one's for you, Jesus," and then give it my best shot. If it is wrong...hey! That's how Jesus can do his thing...fix it, change it, show me His way...whatever. How else can I find it?

Knock yourself out, Jesus...and thank you.

Thank you.

WE ARE OUR ANSWERED PRAYER

When we are feeling at our most needy (often just indecisive), we forget thank you, or Meister Eckhart's If  the only prayer you ever pray is thank you, that would suffice, and we pray for. We pray for God to relieve us of the perceived need, be it a hurt, an ire...or a circular question.

What if every prayer for is answered by our walking through/with that which we pray for? 

The way clear must be in our willingness to change our mind...that which we pray for may come...often does come...looking not anything like what we had in mind. 

We learn, ah we learn...that which we think is a "no" is God's "Yes!" 

When we take no active part in our prayer...we just pray for. That's how we learn that it is we our own self that holds that need close even as we pray for God to loose it and let it go. 

He doesn't hold it...we do. It is not present to God...we are. 

In our our need we are present to God as God's visitation in that moment. 

In that moment, it is finished by our belief, i.e., proving our trust. We show differently...first within, then without. Not by determining it to be so, but by silently understanding that it is so. The difference takes longer to show outside...we trust our insides by our silent, ceaseless thank you. 

Know that...realize that...experience that, and we are our answered prayer.

Thank you.

ON BEING LED BY DOUBT TO TRUST

 I wrote in my 24-Hour book this morning:  This is my time of reckoning...initiation? or meds? I want initiation. Thank you. And shortly after: BFO: which may include meds!

Then, according to me, a direct answered prayer from my God Calling: Look unto Me, and you shall be saved. * * * Whatever danger threatens look unto Me . . .  Whatever you desire or need, look unto Me. Claim, claim, claim. * * * Rejoice. These are your wilderness days. But surely and safely, you are being led  . . .  

And I flashed: My God-need might be meds to complete my initiation. It is not for my head to know, it is for my heart and Soul to trust...that I am and will be led in God's perfect direction. Thank you.

There. I am now being led and will ever be led in God's perfect direction. Doubts will come, else what's the need for trust? 

For myself, I am seldom certain sure of my trust until I need it...until I doubt, to state it plainly. Ah, then doubt is transmuted into God's sliver of gold.

Everything...every single thing...is a sliver of gold for me personally. For you, too...trust me!

Thank you.