ON ACCEPTANCE AND KISSING IT ON THE LIPS

Many years ago, when I was begging God to fulfill  my unlimited wants (and calling that prayer), I had a blinding flash of the obvious. I realized that I was trying to get God to see through my eyes when my need was for me to see through the eyes of God. 

It was an ah-ha moment, as in, that's what Thy will, not mine means! My inmost desire since then has been to live there...and "very imperfectly" counts. 

Fr Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation" this morning quotes German theologian Dorothee Sölle who writes: It is a mysticism of wide-open eyes. . . . God calls upon the soul to give away its own ears and eyes and to let itself be given those of God. , , , Allowing God to fully inhabit our senses does not mean we close ourselves off from the world but open ourselves more fully to it. We are free to be fully ourselves but not to exist only for ourselves.

"We are free to be fully ourselves." There it is...our unknown to us dream come true. In my case, I always wanted to be freely myself only I neither knew nor sought to know who I was in my goodness. 

In my less-than self, I knew and sought to know more so I could correct me. I never accepted the possibility that I was...Warts And All...what God made me to be. My mouth knew that, my  rational self never got the word...I was too busy trying to change, upgrade, perfect God's work.

The rest of that sentence, "but not to exist only for ourselves," is my recent BFO. I still weigh my efforts as compared to the efforts of the giants of the world...and fail, repeatedly. I do not work the breadlines, collect for charity, teach the children...and I do admire those who do. 

However, I am available. This has never been a choice I make, it is what I do. What I am happy doing, or, no surprise, I'd be on the breadlines, complaining. Teaching the children, complaining. Because that is not me; however, somebody must be available...someone needs to listen. 

In that long-ago gene pool, when God was passing out attributes, He came to "available," and my tadpole shouted, Here's me, God! Choose me!  

There...the essence of acceptance. I let go my attachment to "not enough" and kissed my tadpole on the lips. And God kissed me back.

Thank you.