ON SEEKING PEACE, OR TO GET OVER MYSELF

Looking back at my early life, my wholly self-willed years, I was ever aware that I sought peace of mind...and said so often. But I neither knew nor wanted to know the Father within. That place where the peace that passes understanding lives. That peace we crave which can never be stolen, but can be given away by our free will (self will in disguise).

Ah, free will. Free will deserves a Bible all its own for it may well be God's greatest gift to us. It allows us to choose whether we want to go it alone, thanks, or that we'd best lean on a power greater than our fine mind can comprehend. 

The wonderful part being that we can change our mind any time. The less-than-wonderful part, it nearly always takes deep pain unto suffering for us to change our mind toward surrender. Toward giving up. Toward losing. Toward knowing ourself to be a loser. 

It is that knowing that all but guarantees our crash and burn...which then rockets us into the fourth dimension. For myself, being rocketed into the fourth dimension put my feet in the right direction, headed toward glory, away from self.  Then I would turn me around in midair and head toward a self-determined objective...then get turned back around heading toward glory again...then get turned around....

Imagine my shock! shock! to learn all of that is doing it right. Rocketed into the fourth dimension does not ensure our landing at the right hand of God forever and ever, amen. No. It means we can now, if we choose and choose every day, head in that right direction...away from self toward God. 

Looking back, I can see that is and has been my journey for nearly fifty years now. It is what I think of as returning my free will to God in exchange for his will. It has been as rough and rocky as it needed to be for me to begin and continue seeking to just get over myself...for me to remember and recommit to my goal to go to God for God and that is all.

Thank you.