When we find ourself in disagreement with a friend or a frenemy, we need to be the first to give over. This is a purely spiritual act, meaning there is no peace in doing it without God as our guide.
Plain speak: A self-determined objective is to decide to give over because we're supposed to, plus we'll get points for doing it...so we do. Chances are we wind up feeling less-than, put-upon, sorry and more vindictive than before.
To be the first to give over requires pondering, seeking God's will and making a decision to go with God's will whatever that may be.
A self-determined objective is for the benefit of self, i.e., an ego-builder.
After we ponder or meditate or talk with God, we find ourself being led down a whole different path than what we had in mind toward our goal. The path is never laid out before us for our permission probably because we would not give it. God's path, our new path, doesn't even resemble what we had in mind to achieve, i.e., looking good while giving and getting peace, love and joy. Sometimes, just looking good is close enough.
I believe that God's intent for us is not to just stop being selfish or self-willed. According to the word of saints and holy people who have gone before, God's intent for us is to love Him with all our heart, soul, body and brains, and to love all others as ourself.
It is my belief that it is my job to work with my Father to bring me up to speed in loving myself so that loving others as myself is as pure as it can be. Loving others as myself while I don't love me is hanging on to ego and calling it humility.
Thank you.
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