For me, believing that there is a God is not the hard part...believing that that God lives within us isn't either. Nor is believing that that very God has already fixed our perceived problem. It is remembering that unto living that when we need it most that is the hard part.
Rohr recently wrote about "knowing with a true faith that nothing bad can happen ultimately because the victory is already won." My head...and my heart quite honestly...were right there with him. Then my mind kicked in...my so-called memory promptly pulled up the ongoing saga concerning That Hospital's billing system. To which, according to it, I owe a gazillion dollars at least.
Here's my problem. I know this will get straightened out. I went through this in 1988 with the same hospital's billing department when I'd had a major operation there. My problem, which admittedly has my ego Lucy's name all over it, is that it is a hassle, an undeserved, unearned, unfair hassle for I am the one who will be forced to get it straight before they (because they can and will) turn it over to a collection agency.
See my dilemma? I do know that nothing bad can happen ultimately, but may I say in all humility that that is not enough! They are not going to be put out one iota. I, however, am, and maybe it'll only be by one iota, but I shouldn't have to be at all.
It is not fair, and enough with the "life's not fair." That Hospital is being rewarded for its bad behavior, for its careless disregard for the very people it is in business to serve, and if I believed in the efficacy of guns for any reason, I'd justifiably take that place down...now.
Did I mention Lucy? Well, when she's right, she's right, and she is double-down right on this. Which, as always, always, always happens...when Lucy's right, I'm in trouble. My head and heart wind up hurting.
Back to my golden rule: Just try not to be as nasty as you want to be. The golden goose: Else you're going to have an amends to make that is incomprehensible in its darkness.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment