Yesterday I talked with a lady who shared some bad news.
Her health has not been good, and an even worse diagnosis has been given to
her...her chronic pain will increase and there is no cure.
My heart hurt for her, but I hurt not for her diagnosis, not
for her increasing pain...I hurt for her resistance to the fact.
We talked, and she said she was just not ready yet to
"find the gold" in this, not ready to say "thank you," not
ready in fact to walk away from her fear and her dark fantasies. Who can't understand
that? I, in my reasoning mind,
completely understand it, can even justify taking an hour to wallow in the fear
and the dark.
The trouble, of course, is that when we give into the
darkness of fear, there is no assurance when we can come back from there...or
even IF we will.
When we give permission for our ego to link up with our
fear, we have jumped back into our quagmire...which is self, simply self. Where
we are powerless to extract ourselves on our own and our fear tells us we
shouldn't have to. Where we are led to understand that if there were a God, we
wouldn't be here in the first place. Which leaves us all alone
again...naturally.
The answer is so simple that it's no wonder we overlook
it...it's no wonder we can think we're not ready "yet" to find our
gold, to say our thank you. The answer is beyond our reasoning mind. It is
beyond common sense. The answer is: Welcome this for it is of God. Our
reasoning mind will never get us there...cannot get us there, to God.
Our illness, my friend's illness, may be incurable, may be
progressive, but in God's care we can live happily with it. We just aim our
thoughts toward God. Our mind is the bow, thank you is the arrow...aim high and
let fly.
Thank you.
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