Spiritual growth isn't so much in our actions toward another as it is in our thoughts about another. Say, for example, that I know Sylvia does not like me, and, that's not all, Sylvia peeves me mightily. However, I always show her a courteous face...with an UGH mind. That is not returning "love for hatred" (as we are instructed) nor is it a heart deed...that is a self-determined objective. There is no God there. (It goes without saying that it is better to show her pretty rather than UGH just on general principles.)
There are always two paths to the same objective...our reasoning-mind way and God's way. God's way does not take longer, it is just that our way gets more immediate wrong results.
Our spiritual growth is in learning to give over to God at the first wrong result, immediately turning our objective toward aligning our will with God's will. The human condition is such, however, that we usually try our way again...and again...until we give ourselves the gift of desperation at which point our will is released to God, and he does his perfect work. Usually with the result not in us getting our way, but in our being gifted with something much better than we could have dared consider praying for.
Achieving our self-determined objective through prayer for anything, or doing any spiritual-growth work through self-will alone, leads to spiritual pride...we give God credit with our mouths and ourselves credit in our minds.
It is in our giving over our will (i.e., our God channel) and then keeping it clear of our ego-victory thoughts that heads us in the right direction.
The realization of God is in unknowing.
Thank You.
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