IT FEELS LIKE LOVE

I have come to believe that everything we resist really does come back to us and with a sharp poke right in the ego.

I have a friend who has "unresolved anger," of which fact he is inordinately proud...that makes me sooo angry. He should know better; he sets himself up as oh-so spiritual and blahblahblah, says my wannabe spiritually fit and detached-from-you ego. I've known him for 40 years, he has ever been this way. My only question is to me: What is wrong with me that I cannot accept this about him?

Upon hearing that I'm being honored at a big deal dinner at a fancy-schmancy place, and that I am dreading going, another friend insisted that I was going to have a wonderfully fun time. Not to mention that I should be grateful for the opportunity being presented to me. All this in the face of my always having said that I am intensely uncomfortable in a room full of people. And to me, a room full of people is six or more...possibly five, probably any number over three. I had to stop myself from resisting her insistence because we were both getting more than a little testy about it. Same question to me. I could have simply smiled and said, "I wish."

Everybody probably starts out in life wanting to be understood...but if we live long enough and are reasonably aware of life around us, we at some point realize that if we're wishing to be understood, we'd better get cracking on trying to understand.

To our ego, giving, rather than seeking, understanding is like forgiving...it feels like losing. Which explains the paradox that it is in losing that we win...because being graced with understanding of another, with forgiveness for another is the pearl beyond price. And it feels like love.

Thank You.