SEEK DILIGENTLY AND BE GLAD

There is a for-sure, never-fail way to shrink one's ego. That way is called "Gratitude." Develop an attitude of gratitude, live by that attitude, and one's ego will shrink...cannot not shrink. It will not, however, die.

In today's God Calling is the sentence, "Seek diligently for the something to be glad and thankful about in every happening, and soon no search will be required."  I wrote the year 1976 beside that when I first read it. Over the years, as I reread that, I have underlined it, highlighted it, put exclamation marks out to the side of it...and today, almost always, I do that with a simple "Thank You" to whatever comes my way.

I am grateful to know that my ego has been reduced to a degree...so imagine my chagrin when it trips me yet again. And trip me it does every time I loose my attack mind. It does not matter if I loose my lips...although it's considerably better for me if I keep them zipped...it is my wildly charging thoughts that cause me grief.

Interestingly, those thoughts pretty much boil down to: I am right and you are wrong. There. That is the perennial cry of the ego. Why is it so hard to hear that for what it is when first it squeals? Oh, I know. Because I am right...what's there to hear?

Please.

Thank You.

JUST DON'T GIVE IT A HOME IN WHICH TO REIGN

I once had a dream that I was given a branch of a tree with the bark still on it, all dirty, still sticky with sap, and I was told, "This is the Word." I understood that I needed to clean that branch up. I knew that I needed special tools to do the cleaning, to strip the bark, wash the muck and mire off, drain the last bit of sap out.

So I got me a big knife, stripped that bark off, scrubbed the branch in a river nearby, and dug into the sap source and emptied it out. All done. Not five minutes later, there was the branch with the bark still on it, all dirty, still sticky with sap. So I forgot about it, forgot about the dream.

Then began my life's journey...searching for the right Word, the Word to make me alright and all right. I found a church which had the right message for me, and I joined. Didn't last long. I found new authors, new lecturers all with the same good message and  talked a lot about them. Didn't do much of it, but I did talk. I toyed with Buddhism which had the same good message and I told others about it. Same thing. I read, I journaled, I meditated, I went on retreats, attended lectures, prayed, cried, pleaded...still the same old me.

One day in a blinding flash of the obvious I knew that there were never going to be enough "out theres" in this world to make me feel alright. And I remembered my dream of the branch.  I realized it did not need outside cleaning. It already was the Word. And the Word was me. And all I needed...all the branch needed...we already had within.

I could not be cleaned on the outside and be fit...it had to start within. I had to give me over...to do good works, be accountable, live for a higher purpose than I'd naturally chose.

I knew of myself I'd not be able to do any selfless thing without direction. I found the Sermon on the Mount fit me best because it is so simple...I read "If someone slaps you upside your head, turn the other cheek," and I didn't have to wonder what that meant. I knew it meant that no matter what happens in my eyeballs' world, there is a deeper God-meaning. My need is to be willing to turn the other cheek, repeatedly, if that is the path to the deeper God-meaning in my life.

I came to understand that all the Sermon directs us to do is what is within us right now...do good works, give over, be accountable, live for a higher purpose than we'd naturally chose. And really that is the simple message of all the many other things I tried. The Sermon is just no-questions-asked clearer to me.

The Sermon helped me to realize that resisting evil is nurturing evil. Same goes with resisting our self-propelled ego. The more we try not to...anything...the more it is in our head, dictating our thoughts. Once we resist it, it attaches and clings...like Velcro.

We resist not ego by not giving it our thoughts, by not giving it a home in which to reign...same with evil. Resist not evil and be free.

Thank You.

EGO IS LOUD, GOD IS SILENT

The ego is a determined foe to spiritual growth.

Actually, the ego is a determined foe to personal growth of any kind. How often have I followed my ego's dictates to get what I thought I needed in order to save face, look better than you, feel superior, etc., and wound up feeling less than...less than I felt when I was feeling in need!

The ego always legislates for itself, and the ego's self-need is seldom in my best interest. That's the trouble with a program of spiritual growth...it works. We really do learn to put others' needs before our own wants, and we really do suffer within when we go against that learning.

I'm of the opinion that is the real cause for feeling forsaken or betrayed. We perceive a problem, we name the problem "You," and we pray God to fix the problem. God does not step up asap, so our ego dictates that we pick up mud and sling it at You in order to stop the problem...and that mud lands right in the middle of our own face. Then we cry, "There is no God."

The good news is we have also learned that we can return to our program of spiritual growth at any time and not only is the perceived problem healed but so, too, is the mud we slung removed from our own face.

The bad news is...the choice is ours.

Ego is loud, God is silent. Chose you this day whom you shall serve.

Thank You.

JUDGING...FINDING OUR OWN RIGHT OR WRONG

"Ego" is Latin for "I," and because ego always legislates for itself, I, it is a determined foe to spiritual growth.

I was with several friends last evening, two or three of whom are currently experiencing some less-than-wonderful life problems. I have none apparent at the moment so I found it relatively easy to mentally "fix" each of them...not their problems, but them.

This is also known as judging...not "sitting in judgment," which is not productive, but "judging," which is a necessary exercise to finding our own right or wrong.

As I listened, I was reminded that "The battle is not yours, but God's" which is somewhere in the Bible. Which says to me that as long as I am in the battle, trying to get my right solution, I block God from giving me His perfect solution.

There is also the promise: "Came to believe that God can and will intervene in our lives in our behalf." The hard part is letting Him...letting Him intervene. That is mainly because my ego will not give over because it is so afraid that I will not get mine whatever mine is at the moment.

It seems to me that most of our problems have at their base another human being's name. Our ego's need is to overcome that one. However, as stated in today's "God Calling," ...the overcoming is never the overcoming of the one who troubled you, but the overcoming of the weakness and wrong in your own nature, aroused by such a one.

That's why we need to stick together, to share our perceived troubles with each other. I can remember those things when you're in trouble...I need you to remember and to remind me of those things when I hit the wall. Because, if I'm doing life right, I will hit the wall. As is also said in "God Calling," Not to him who walks on, with no obstacles in his way, but to him that overcometh is the promise given.

God does indeed have our back.

Thank You.

WHAT WE RESIST PERSISTS

We read, “Resist not evil,” and argue the wrongness of that.

We read, “We have given up fighting anything and anybody,” and argue that that cannot be right.

But even when we finally come to agreement with those two, how do we actually do them (for they are in reality one)?

It all starts with want to...and it ends there if we're not willing to practice giving over. Which is simply looking for a win-win result rather than the I win, you lose never-end. We begin by concerning ourselves more with understanding the other's view than with pushing forwarding our own. We already agree with ourselves, why not open our mind to accepting that the other may have a good point, and listen to learn.

My difficulty: When I have successfully given over and come to understand the other's viewpoint without surrendering my own...gotten a true win-win situation...when all that comes together, and she thinks she has won, he walks away looking a little superior. Drives me nuts.

At least I know the right answer...resist not [my perception] of evil.

Thank You.

COSMIC...KARMIC...WHATEVER

There is no surer way to reach understanding of another than to sit in judgment of that other. Seems like  within a blink we'll find ourselves doing the exact thing we were sitting in judgment of in the other.

It is cosmic.

Thank You.

LIFE LESSONS

Let nothing that others do to you alter your treatment of them. -- God Calling, July 26

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. -- The Golden Rule

Try not to be as nasty as you want to be. -- My Golden Rule from a column written by Henry Mitchell for "The Washington Post" sometime in the '80s.

Just don't react in kind. -- A life lesson.

Thank You.

OUR "EVERYTHING" IS OUR FEAR

It is our fear of [fill in the blank] that binds us to this world.

We are told that we must lose everything in order to find God..."everything" is whatever our greatest fear is. We may mistakenly believe that our everything is the love of money, but, boiled down and purified, the love of money is fear of financial insecurity...the need for sex, society, security, just fear of being alone.

Losing "everything" requires that leap of faith we must make into the great unknown...not once but every time we accept a fear for our safety, security, sanity. And, usually, our first thought will be a CYA thought in order to keep others from knowing...from knowing the true nature of our fear which is just to keep others from knowing us.

Our rues, regrets and remorses are simply non-acceptance of the fact that our fear was found out...that we showed our butt and now regret it. We forget that showing our butt is also spiritual. We must learn, then, to invite our fear out into the open to stand for all to see, for us to experience as real, until we comprehend, realize, that this, too, is shadow substance...the ego's shadow maybe, but naught in reality and less to God.

Thank You.

MY GRACE IS THY SUFFICIENCY

I awaken this morning with the fearful thought that I need...and immediately three different "needs" spring into mind.

I pick up my Goldsmith "The Heart of Mysticism" and read: My grace is sufficient for thee.

It seldom fails...when I turn my thoughts from myself to God, God is there.

Thank You.

ALL THAT IS NEEDED IS WILLINGNESS

It is my contention that all resentment is based in self-pity. 

An un-let-go-able resentment is simply an unwillingness to get over oneself. Feeling the victim, of being victimized, is the ego's nesting place.  The ego's victim always feels justified...justifies itself...so that no matter how much the self-pity wrapped in a resentment hurts, it feels too good to drop...to rethink.

And there it is: All that is needed to drop a resentment is the willingness to change one's mind...which, of course, entails going to God for the grace to get over oneself.

Thank You.

THE ROOT OF ALL MY PROBLEMS

Owning our own thoughts...that's a tough line to walk.

Just this morning, I'm out with Ruckus and the thought pops that I really was humiliated by Sylvia Schloppenhaufer two or three years ago when she said bip-bip, and I didn't say a word back to her.

The second thought was that actually she not only said bip-bip, but she said it to me in my own home. Third thought, not only, but also...in front of several other people.

I was smokin'! Had my old resentment machine fired up and churning...no, my old resentment machine had me fired up and churning.

By this time, I'm back in my home, Ruckus is fed, and I have started to reflect on that blinding flash of fury and to wonder...where did that come from and why?!

I remember that resentments do not need facts upon which to feed and grow...they just need an unaware mind, a willingness to feel hurt, and an itch to find someone to blame.

The Sylvia story was a non-problem at the time, got resolved to my benefit and I haven't had to think about it since. Proof again that when left in idle, my ego-victory thoughts will sort and find something to agitate about.

There. That is exactly why, in order to own my own thoughts, I find a daily inventory is essential. It brings me back to the root of all my problems: Me.

Thank You.

ALL EVIL STARTS WITH A SINGLE THOUGHT

My morning blinding flash of the obvious: My only real freedom is the ability to walk free in my own head.

To walk free in my own head is...free of judgment, free of want, free of self. The responsibility for walking free in my own head is mine. I turn to God with the spiritual principles I have been given as my guide and go forward doing those spiritual principles in believing trust that God has my back.

The (paraphrased) admonition in the Bible that lusting in one's mind qualifies as adultery may be the real nut of life itself...all evil must start with a single thought.

Thank You.

GOD IS SO GOOD TO US

This morning I came across a BFO note I wrote to me in 1988: "It is not a desire to stop judging others, but a desire to stop feeling judged by others (so I can feel hurt, betrayed...the victim)."

Just a month or so back, I read that Ken Keyes had once said, "More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense."

So 25 years before I read a quote from someone I'd never heard of, I had a blinding flash of the obvious saying virtually the same thing, and yet that quote was like big-time news to me.

Here is my grateful example of time takes time for I know that I have not been oblivious to that 1988 BFO all these years. I know because I do remember specific times when I pulled myself back from judging another and opened my heart and mind in a desire to understand the person I was judging...and did get understanding and release.

Which, when I think about it, is using my reasoning mind as it needs to be used...not to justify me (I already agree with me) but to understand you (whom I am resisting).

God is so good to me.

Thank You.

SELF-CONCERN v. SELF-PITY

I wonder, are all resentments self-pity based? I have long believed that anger is victim based and that playing the victim is just self-pity on the hoof.

There is a world of difference between self-concern and self-pity, of course. Self-concern is good and necessary and leads to a spiritual understanding of ourselves and others when we stay focused on our Soul's needs.

It is when we give over to our ego's wants that self-concern goes off-track, festering into self-pity...our ego, which always legislates for itself, must find somebody to blame, to pay for us.

We are told that Mahatma Gandhi "vowed to resist injustice, not by violence or retaliation, but through the loving power of nonviolent resistance, which elevates the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor."

There it is. There's our answer...the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor is elevated so that both sides come out the winner: We have given up fighting anything and anybody. -- Anonymous

Thank You.

RESENTMENT...OUR PRECIOUS CARGO

Why is it, I wonder, that it seems every time we resist anything, to our ego it has somebody or something else's name on it? And our resistance is usually over some fairly unimportant thing affecting our ego alone. The longer we resist this fairly unimportant thing the more precious it becomes to our ego-victory mind.

This precious cargo never stands up straight and walks in the front door, saying, "My feelings are hurt by the way I interpreted a remark you made." No, it sneaks in the back door, whispering, "S/He is so judgmental...mean-spirited, truth to tell...somebody needs to tell her."

We build our resentment until it finally erupts, either within or without, spewing our rigid, righteous and right answer for him...as in, "The trouble with you is you don’t know a thing about acceptance." Which, by our actions, tells the trouble with us: We don't know a thing about acceptance, and wherever we've slung it, within or without, it is mud landing in our own face.

Our everyday actions prove the truth of the adage [paraphrased here] that the mote we complain of in her eye is nothing compared to the plank we ignore in ours.

Thank You.

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

My morning’s blinding flash of the obvious: When I am faced with anything I fear or dread, I need to picture it as me going into the lion’s den...then remember that the only thing that can hurt me there is my own attack thoughts.

As I go into my lion’s den, it is vital that I focus on freeing my own mind from anything but “Thank You.” It is a fact that my attack thoughts are usually formed by my interpretation of what I heard another say, or what I “just know” another meant when s/he said what I heard. The minute I send out an attack thought that is my call/invitation to the “lions” to attack...me.

It has been said that what we see is always ourselves, what we hear is always our interpretation of what was said. An attitude of gratitude makes all incoming/outgoing kinder, gentler than we would naturally choose.

Thank You.

THE LIGHT IS WITHIN

The light shines on the inside of the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it."  (John 1:5)

The light is within the darkness thus cannot be overcome by the darkness...but we must walk through the darkness back to God consciousness, the deeper place within where we find our highest place of light. 

When we find it, it envelopes all, and there is no darkness.

Thank You.

WE BELIEVE IT BY DOING IT

Blinding flash of the obvious: Resentment, too, makes one of us all.

It is in resenting another that we are given the opportunity to see ourselves and vice versa...for invariably we are each doing that which we are resenting in the other.

The opportunity to see ourselves rests in our willingness to change our mind, to divorce ourselves from our own opinion. Such a seemingly simple action. I do believe it is the hardest action I have ever had to take, will ever have to take.

The ego's belief that it is right is steel-strong and sealed to all but God...and God is not available on demand.

This is where our reasoning mind becomes our tool for good. We channel our thoughts toward good...not prettifying the resentment, that's just coloring it pea-green instead of puce. We channel our thoughts toward all things good...our perfect pet, a beautiful memory, God's goodness, grace. We dwell there until a feeling of peace flows through us.

The hard lesson alearning is this is not a one-shot deal. Our thoughts need a constant reining in, ever directed toward God's needs for us and away from our wants for us. Since we do not know precisely what God's needs for us are, we do this by thanking Him.

We thank Him that His will, whatever it may be, is being done in and through us right this very minute...then believe it.

Thank You.

IT FEELS LIKE LOVE

I have come to believe that everything we resist really does come back to us and with a sharp poke right in the ego.

I have a friend who has "unresolved anger," of which fact he is inordinately proud...that makes me sooo angry. He should know better; he sets himself up as oh-so spiritual and blahblahblah, says my wannabe spiritually fit and detached-from-you ego. I've known him for 40 years, he has ever been this way. My only question is to me: What is wrong with me that I cannot accept this about him?

Upon hearing that I'm being honored at a big deal dinner at a fancy-schmancy place, and that I am dreading going, another friend insisted that I was going to have a wonderfully fun time. Not to mention that I should be grateful for the opportunity being presented to me. All this in the face of my always having said that I am intensely uncomfortable in a room full of people. And to me, a room full of people is six or more...possibly five, probably any number over three. I had to stop myself from resisting her insistence because we were both getting more than a little testy about it. Same question to me. I could have simply smiled and said, "I wish."

Everybody probably starts out in life wanting to be understood...but if we live long enough and are reasonably aware of life around us, we at some point realize that if we're wishing to be understood, we'd better get cracking on trying to understand.

To our ego, giving, rather than seeking, understanding is like forgiving...it feels like losing. Which explains the paradox that it is in losing that we win...because being graced with understanding of another, with forgiveness for another is the pearl beyond price. And it feels like love.

Thank You.

KEEP STEPPING, FIND PEACE

It is in the practice of spiritual principles that we realize the conundrum that returning love for hate at first gets you misunderstood, often gets you ridiculed, may get you hate...and we do it anyway.

I found a note I'd written over 20 years ago saying that since I started trying to live the Sermon, I'd never felt more misunderstood. The paradox is that I felt so much better within myself about myself and my world (when I wasn't reacting in kind to my perception of the slings and arrows) that I was willing to continue trying to live more by the Sermon. Maybe that's the basis for "if someone slaps you upside your head, turn the other cheek."

I have found no other way to consistently feel better about myself and my world than by trying to live by the Sermon...doing good "to those who despitefully use you" is truly going beyond reason to love.

The reasoning mind will balk every step of the way...but if we keep stepping, we do arrive at peace.

Thank You.

RESENTMENT...ANOTHER FORM OF FIGHTING

"We have given up fighting anything and anybody" is the key to a spiritual awakening. To me, it is based directly on the Sermon on the Mound's "Resist not evil," at Matthew 5:39. It is a deeply spiritual instruction that we realize as truth. 

Our first insight toward achieving that spiritual awakening is our realization that the key word is "fighting." We give up fighting.

Kow-towing, placating, appeasing, playing the doormat simply breed resentment...which is just another form of fighting. We finally accept that our reasoning mind cannot get us there. We must look deeper to a higher consciousness. That's where we find that when we give up fighting, a cosmic solution is given us, and both sides come out the winner...i.e., at peace with each other.

I'm guessing we spend the rest of our days practicing our new instruction until we finally realize that the "anything and anybody" is simply our ego-victory self...always, ever, and always.

Thank You.

GOD SERVES US ALL

I read my friend Mac's wonderful Reflection yesterday in which he quoted Teresa of Avila saying we are God's hands and feet. I love that reminder. I try to remember that being God's hands and feet, we are also God's voice, God's very representative on this earth.

Sometimes I represent Him better than other times, but the fact that I can know that to be true is God's grace. Which means that when I'm representing me, my ego-victory self-will in the lead, God's grace is the only thing that can turn me around, head me back in the right direction.

Willingness is the key to that happening, and it is on me to maintain it...to maintain a willing head, heart, soul. That is my best reason for having my quiet time, my reflect on God's grace time, early every morning...to bring my ego-victory self back into alignment with God's will.

Again, I am reminded: Ego always legislates for itself, and God always serves us all. Which includes any and all perceived friends, foes, and don't-counts...God serves us all.

Thank You.

TO LIVE WITH, BUT NOT ACT ON

My morning's blinding flash of the obvious: Forgiveness, like love, is already within us just waiting to be used. It is folly to ask for God's forgiveness...God is love and cannot withhold or supply conditionally any good thing.

My reasoning mind's take on that: Our ego cannot, is incapable of, giving over to forgiveness.  To our ego, forgiveness equates to losing, which, in fact, it is...losing our resentment, losing our resistance to love.

I wonder if all of the within goodnesses, i.e., love, kindness, patience, forgiveness, et al., aren't controlled by God's grace. They cannot be called into use by self will for self will is for self. Even with the highest sounding motives, self is the driver...I think I hear echoes of the long-ago advice, "Get out of the driver's seat."

Forgiveness of self cannot be realized through self determination. A self-determined objective, however, is the basis  for our decision to give over, to surrender, to accept God's will, whatever and whenever that may be, as the only way to forgiveness of self and others.

It seems to me forgiveness only comes when we give up all hope of reaching, attaining, our desire to forgive. We finally accept that we will simply have to live with, but not act on, our sense of self being wronged. Then we are unblocked and grace can rush out, freeing us from our resentment, our hatred...and that particular sense of self being wronged is finally realized as a necessary factor in our life's search for peace, for love.

Thank You.

STAYING, NOT STRAYING

Doing, actually doing, spiritual growth is a pain. Me never gets to win. I wish I were talking to you...I could set you straight in a minute. As in, "Me winning is just an ego trip. It's in giving over to God's will that we get our spiritual win. That's where the peace we seek is."

To which i feel like saying, "Baloney."

Finding my gold, I am grateful that I do know that this me-trip won't last long. It makes my very heart hurt is why. I am grateful that I know that this is just me walking in the right direction.

I can't remember how long it's been since I've had a me-attack that did not end with me gladly giving over. Which is no great shakes...I have no choice today. Because I know that there is no win, there is no ultimate feeling of win, in not giving over. I have been there too many times, and it's a harder trip back then it is staying in God's giving-over place.

And for knowing that, I am truly grateful.

Thank You.

DISCOVERING OUR ANGEL-MESSENGERS

We do not get to choose who our angel-messengers will be. The very person on whom we look with anger and contempt may very well be the one with the message we need most to hear.

In 1997 I went through an extremely painful period that today I believe was my spiritual preparation period. It had to do with a good friend of mine who proved not to be such a good friend. I was a few years into learning the power of paradox; i.e., to not react in kind, to turn the other cheek, to agree with my adversary quickly, etc.

Holding myself and myself only to account was very difficult, not to mention excruciatingly painful. For me, life is a "we program" so I had to share my hurt and anger with one spiritually guided person who did not let me live in the problem of the friend, but to stay focused on me...to choose my thought-reactions. I am still grateful.

It was nine years later, in 2006, that I finally realized that my friend, who to my reasoning mind turned out not to be a friend, was my true angel. If not for her and her actions, I would never have dug so deeply, prayed my "Thank You" so constantly, blessed her so unceasingly...and I would have missed my within gift entirely.

I remember this now because of today's God Calling entry which in 1997 I had underlined in red. It states: "Painful as this time is you will one day see the reason of it, and see too that it was not cruel testing, but tender preparation for the wonderful life-work you  are to do. Try to realize that your own prayers are being most wonderfully answered...in a way that seems painful to you, but that just now is the only way."

It went on to say, "Great success, in both temporal and spiritual worlds, awaits you." I had underlined that in green and in 2006 had written, "This is true in my life, and I am just now really realizing it."

I'd just been notified that I had been elected into my previous workplace's Hall of Honor, and I was still in awe of the fact that a few years earlier I had been given the gift of forgiveness of my friend...which gift was greater than any outside honor and I knew it.

The one we're resenting right this minute may very well be...no, IS...an angel in disguise. Recognize her...call him by his real name, "Blessed."

Thank You.

FREE TO BE ME

My running thought for years was, "I just want to be free." One day I literally stopped and asked myself, "Free how? I am free...so what freedom am I seeking?"

That was the first time I realized I simply wanted to be free to be me. And I was blaming all the "out theres" for my not being (or feeling) free.

I am, and all my friends are, civilized...or close enough. I accepted that I have never had a desire to prove my freedom by lying, cheating, stealing, murdering...although I have done one or two of those (but they were so small they didn't count, of course).

So what does "free to be me" mean within me...to my own self?

I came to a still-growing realization that "free to be me" means I am free to care...and say so. I am free to love...and say so. I am free to lend a hand...and do it. I am free to give over to a friend who thinks s/he's right and I'm wrong...without thought or comment. I am free to take responsibility for hurting another's feelings even when that was the last thing on my mind...and apologize.

I am not free to speak my mind without care, without love, without apology, justifying all the while. Nor am I free to take actions that would cause another emotional pain. All that comes back and slaps us upside the head anyhow, so where's the freedom there?

Freedom, it seems to me, begins within me and is based on my concern for others. If, as I say I believe, God has my back, how could it be otherwise?

Thank You.

FROM INSPIRATION NOT INTELLECT

[The following is a reprint from my blog of August 31, 2011.]

I am regularly amazed when others tell me something I said to them X number of years ago that they remember as wonderful or funny or weird or whatever. It matters not how they quote it, what matters is, it is something that I have never thought of, or that I actually disagree with, or that I consider above my I.Q. and only wish I had said.

My gift, from inspiration not intellect, is that I don’t disagree with them about their memory. For whatever reasons, how they remember the quote, or more particularly the incident around it, is important to them…else they wouldn’t remember it the way they do. Nor do I agree with them…I just make listening noises and smile. Who knew that could be so easy?

But it does bring forth the larger issue of rues, regrets and remorses…I am again struck by the possibility that rrr’s are primarily distortions of memory with little-to-no basis in fact. I once tried to make light of my rrr’s by reminding myself that nobody even remembered my name much less whatever incident I was rrr’ing. Unfortunately, that never made a lick of difference…it is not the memory of others that causes me to squirm…it is mine.

But consider…eyewitness testimony is coming to be regarded as not the best because it is so often dead wrong. Compare that to memory…memory as the eyewitness to our own history. It makes sense that the memory of our rrr’s is just another fallacy.

Our job (or joy) is to accept that rrr’s have all the force and effect of a snowflake on the bosom of the Potomac (with a thank you to the long-gone but never-forgotten Senator Dirksen).

Thank You.

TO PRAY "FOR" IS A DENIAL OF GOD

My morning blinding flash of the obvious:  To pray for God to have my back is a denial of my belief in God.

Thinking that through, I come again to the realization that the most important part of spiritual growth may be in detaching from my own ideas, my own opinions, in trust that God does have my back because God cannot not have my back.

Meister Eckhart is quoted as saying, "Some people want to see God with their eyes as they see a cow, and to love Him as they love their cow -- for the milk and cheese and profit it brings them. This is how it is with people who love God for the sake of outward wealth or inward comfort."

Those last three words are the telling ones for me. We learn fairly early not to pray for outward wealth, but inward comfort? I had always thought that was what we were supposed to pray for!

It was when I learned the cosmic comfort of thanking God for everything...inward comfort or inward discomfort...makes no never mind. Our "thank You" frees our blocked channel, opens us, to let God out...to go before us and "make the crooked places straight."

Thank You.

GOD'S ANGELS ON EARTH

It seems every Memorial Day or July 4th someone e-mails me pictures of military dogs and their humans. Every year there are new pictures along with the older ones. I love them. They tear the heart right out of my body while bringing God's gratitude to my soul.

These dogs and the humans who depend on them are what a still more spiritual life looks like to me...utterly selfless.

The dogs are guarding the humans who depend on them and the humans who depend on them are guarding us. So the dogs through their humans are guarding us. Without a thought of...yeah, and what are you doing for me? Or, when am I going to get ...?

I'm betting there's not a one amongst us whose first thought isn't "I'd like to be that selfless" and whose second thought isn't "Whoa...too hard by half!" And that's just thinking of the humans! The dogs?...truly God's angels on earth.

I am humbled that I can simply recognize such holiness and know it for God's work.

Thank You.

EGO VICTORY V. TRUTH

[The following is a reprint of my blog of  January 28, 2012.]

It has happened again…why am I still surprised when I give up fighting that the way is cleared?

This past Wednesday some friends called to see if I’d like to get together for burgers this evening, and I was all over that…yes indeedy. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I recalled that I have a late lunch scheduled today, and I have a standing Sunday brunch with friends. That’s three meals out in two days, and that’s too much…too much eating, too much money.

My first thought after remembering my lunch date today was…LIE. Tell my burger friends I’m coming down with a cold…nobody loves you when you’re coming down with a cold. Fortunately, I wait on second thoughts today, and I had second, third, fourth, etc. Each one coming a tish closer to the truth. When I finally hit the wall with my rationalizations, I decided that I’d made the date, I can take the consequences…and how hard is it to have friends who want to get together with me for three meals straight?

Not an hour later, my phone rings…burgers tonight are out. I didn’t have to lie (which I knew I wouldn’t, but that is still my ego’s first line of defense), nor did I have to beg forgiveness, with a pinch of guilt thrown in so they’d feel bad if they didn't accept my apology…I know ‘em all, unfortunately. But, good news, knowing all those less than wonderful ways doesn't mean I have to use them…anymore.

What I like to contemplate is: Would the burgers have been canceled if I hadn't made the decision to  go forward, simply accepting the consequences? If I’d gone for the ego victory?

I might not be able to prove one way or the other, but I do know I would have set in motion, by my decision based on self, others dissing me later…and the rush of poor, pitiful, put-upon me being all mine again. Nothing is worth that.

Thank You.

TO LOVE...RESIST NOT, WELCOME ALL

Some years ago I saw an embroidered sampler that read, "In the end, all that matters is what you have done for God."

I have just realized the deeper message there. What if all that matters is what we have done for God, God being the least among us? God being the beggar, the thief, the liar, the cheat...the one who brought his house down around his own head, and "it was his own fault," the young mother who got caught in an adulterous relationship "and she didn't even have the grace to blush."

Those folks. What have we done for them? What are we willing to do for them? Those with whom we can all identify in some manner or means...if we ever get bare-to-the-bone honest. Just because, "Well, I was never that bad," applies to me, if only in my own mind, that does not get me a bye. We are directed to love our enemies, yet my television set does not even know there is a Fox News channel. Ignoring our perceived "least among us" doesn't get us a bye, either.

We're directed to love...that's all. By any religion, religious director, spiritual guru that I've ever come across, that is the bottom-line message. And love is so misunderstood...or, actually, love is simply not understood. I think of love as to welcome, to not resist...anything. I do not do it well, but I do believe it, and I do aim for it.  Just welcome any and all into our heart, and let God worry about the judgments later.

Face it...God does that better than we do.

Thank You.