I have a friend who is very vocal in her beliefs, some of which are diametrically opposite to mine. Without any effort on my part, I have maintained my silence without my attitude prancing about doing my talking for me. For which, I must admit I have been in silent wonder because that is not my m.o.
I have another friend who rarely shows whether she agrees or disagrees with what is being said. I guess what she has is a "poker face" but she always looks interested in whatever the subject is. I do admire her ability to maintain a respectful silence.
Last night at 2:00 AM, my ego woke me up to suggest I might need to push back, to "educate" my first friend that I have another point of view...justifying that I need to speak by hinting that my silence is hypocrisy.
This is the exact point where my spiritual growth (give up fighting anything and anybody) and my ego-victory-seeking reasoning mind (I am being personally attacked and must defend myself) go to the mat with each other.
I pray for the ability to remain silent in the face of provocation, I get my opportunity, and I look for a something other, a different opportunity...one where I can speak and get silent points at the same time.
In the light of day, I can wonder if maybe this isn't why second friend is in my life...to show me how to do that which I so admire and seldom do. This gives me my "pony to ride" in changing my behavior...my ability, with God's grace, to take this defect of character in stride and turn it into my demonstration of faith. I know it works when everybody comes out a winner.
I can never learn too many times that giving up fighting anything and anybody is always the answer, always perfectly possible...with my willingness and God's grace.
Thank You.
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