I am proving to myself again (how long, oh Lord!) that my conscience is a power within me, and I am powerless over it. That about half way peeves me...yet, what did I think I was working so hard to achieve when I started out on this path?
I did step on Judd's toes because I chose to be provoked by him who, I know full well, provokes me just by breathing...how spiritual is that? He is reacting in kind...provoked, and I am now mentally justifying, wrangling, resisting Judd's resistance. With my conscience saying, "You can justify till your face falls off...then you gotta do right."
I know him to be a pebble in my shoe, I know to go closer, be kinder, seek to understand rather than to be understood. Yet I went with my ego and virtually slung mud in my own face. I am grateful that I know from my own experience that closer, kinder works...and that that is the only thing that works in getting me over me.
The splinter of good: I know I am the source of all my woes so I'll go to Judd through God and be willing to follow directions.
Thank You.
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