I BELIEVE, HELP ME MY UNBELIEF

 ..... [O]nly contemplative prayer or meditation invades, touches, and heals the unconscious! This is where all the woundedness lies—but also where God hides and reveals, 'in that secret place.'  -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, July 25, 2024

It seems to me that my faith is based in unknowing. I read the words, believe them, want to live them...all that is mine. Yet, here's me with the feeling of unsatisfied, something ain't right, there is more that I am not connected to. And yet...and yet...there are too many people with whom I have a shared belief, identify with, for me to truly doubt my own belief.

My questioning heart seeks still: Why can't I feel God in my heart, my soul, my body and my brain where I believe I believe God lives. How can I honestly believe it if I do not feel it? It is a truth that feelings are not facts, but does that allow not feeling to be acceptable fact? Sheez. 

My best friend, taking myself too seriously, is clearly alive and well and making itself heard. That, too, is of God. It is a fact that most of my accepted beliefs were born in doubt, distrust, and self-pity...and they stand me in good stead today. Thank you!

I hope...I intend...to keep on questioning, seeking, changing my mind, and praying thank you every inch of the way...with God's will, God's way my forever goal.

I believe, help me my unbelief. - Mark 9:24

Thank you.