A deeper understanding of that which I already knew came to me in my quiet time this morning. I have ever known that I am living my worst fear...of being all alone. Actually, that is not my worst fear, my worst fear is of being left all alone. That is where my hidey-hole has been. I made sure I'd never be left all alone by never letting in anybody who could then leave me.
My morning blinding flash of the obvious is that being alone has always been God's will, God's way for me. My self-determined want has been my block; I could not, would not, allow that to be the Truth.
I can only assume why God's will and way has been for me to be alone...maybe to grow the gift of my spiritual nature deeper? To be a walking-around messenger for the Higher Power? More likely to be humbled by my egoic self until I am a raggedy example for like walking-around egos on earth.
With that as a possibility, I feel peaced...I do that well actually. I do draw others to me, I am neither a falling-down failure nor a shining star...I am a Carter, I am a child of God, and I am unique. Same as you are. Ain't that good news?
God loves us so much.
Thank you.
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