FROM TURMOIL TO TRUST...LOVE AND LAUGH

What love means is to say, 'I know your faults, I see your weeds, and I care for you anyway.' Only God’s heart, only the mind of Christ in us, really and fully knows how to do that. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, August 29, 2022.  [This refers, too, to our own fear du jour...to love the fear is trust in God.] 

I have been in total turmoil the past few days resisting doctors, friends and foes who have been pushing me to take a medication that I have had experience with and the result was not good...and which a former doctor and my own experience informs me not to use again. Note: By turmoil, I'm talking TURmoil, akin to the feeling of being left all alone...abandoned and incapable of being heard. 

Yesterday at dinner I'm taking my other prescribed meds, and I pop my baby aspirine in my mouth and chew. Holy moley! It is supposed to have an orange flavor...it did not. Acrid, bitter, UGH. And as I swallowed I realized it was not my baby aspirine, that I'd just taken the med I'd been adamantly  refusing.  

I had to laugh and pray my thank you. I decided, rightly or wrongly, since I innocently and inadvertently took the med, I'm in with it now...no more resistance. 

If my projected worst case happens, that, too, is of God, and I am safe in him. Since "fatal" is one of the in-print worst-case side effects, it is on the table. Fatal is not my fear, but it is a comfort to my mind that it, too,  falls under "safe in him." 

In my quiet time this morning I recalled resist not evil. How, so long ago when I first had to quit resisting my truth, i.e., when I first crashed and burned, my feared truth proved to be God's will and my saving grace.

The dreaded side effect of this med that I've resisted may do exactly what I fear...it may cause excessive bleeding, my duodenal ulcer to grow horns again, my butt to fall off...and if it does, that too God has already wrapped in love for my benefit. That may be exactly what I need to happen and have been blocking.   

So the med is in my regimen now...but best of all: My turmoil is good for a giggle which I do. Thank you.

My morning blinding flash of the obvious: Trust God and carry a mop and pail.

Thank you.