Blinding flash of the obvious: Experiencing the psychic-spiritual pain of a new realization aborning is akin to self will in the crucible melding into God's will.
All the words that we speak are not just words that we quote by rote, repeat, write about. They are true, but they must be proved by us in our life...or they are as naught. This crucible that we go through, the pain, fear, wonky EKGs, light-headed dizzy is us being put through the strainer of conscious thought into the consciousness of the Christ...where words become truth imbued, and that is All.
Memory goes back to the early '70s in Foggy Bottom, me sitting in the middle of my bed crying,,,fearfully sure I was losing my mind. Finally, I let go and out loud said that maybe I am supposed to lose my mind, so go...if a lost mind is God's will, let it be so I may walk free with God. I fully expected to run outside, frothing at the mouth, and screaming...nothing happened. Nothing except the anxiety broke, and I knew I wasn't going to lose my mind...right then anyway. And I laughed.
Gratefully, mercifully, now we know we need do nothing "to get" God...He became I, and consciously came to be within us.
My recent reconnection with less-than living as my Father's will for me is being proved, and this is the process. This mental crucible is his will for me. This is less being fulfilled as more...less self-conscious intellect, more God consciousness.
Choose it now or choose it later.
Thank you.
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