LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH AND KNOW HAPPY

My June 7 God Calling note to me: '92 - It seems like ever since I started seriously trying to do the Sermon on the Mount, I have never looked uglier...could this be 'praying for patience' principle? What if this is the way God wants me to look, and I am doing it right? And 30 years later: '22 Yes! 

Oh my. To read my consciousness from thirty years hence is to feel boondoggled, gobsmacked and graced all as one. 

I just spent several minutes trying to remember what specific back then I felt so ugly about that I was trying to apply the Sermon to it...which is a giggle and a grin right there. Actually, that's a good-on-ya, girl...there was the time I'd be beating my breast and wailing at my self-centered ignorance, my lack of spiritual with-it-ness...when all that was needed it is getting now, a giggle and a grin...love and laughter.

My yesteryear's consciousness updated brings me to the visit to my hometown that I am considering. It is a tish off-putting how uptight I'm feeling about it...all centered on how I'll appear to my high school friends...or, in particular, my un-friends.   

This I know for truth, and I know it from my own experience: If I take my true me back home I will be accepted, welcomed...free. Ah, but if I take my gussied-up me, looking impressive, or more impressive  than "her"...better than I am, in short...I will be snubbed, laughed at, pilloried-to-the-post if only in my own head.  

I am complete...I am all that I need be to be accepted and welcomed. It is only when I try to make me so that I walk away feeling less than, looked down on, scorned. Lessons from high school revisited. 

My blessing is that I have years of trying, succeeding and failing living experience, that has brought me deeper to a higher consciousness for my foundation today...God as I understand him living me living the God of my understanding. Same as each of my hometown friends and un-friends...whether we know it or not. 

For me to hold dear: How each appears to me is my perception...my interpretation...my choice. Judge not, reject not, live, love, laugh and know happy are not just so many words. They are a non-personal foundation for grace and God to flow freely amongst us.

By love may He be gotten and holden, by thought never. -- The Cloud of Unknowing 

Thank you.