The soul must content herself with a loving attentiveness toward God, without agitation, without effort, without the desire to taste or feel him. -- from Saint John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul, as translated by Mirabai Starr
I read that and felt peaced. Affirmations that we are on the right track, heading in the right direction, toward still more spiritual growth, away from the righteousness of the egoic mind, is my idea of a hug from God.
Especially affirming to me is without the desire to feel him which is akin to a positive in its negative. By that I mean, it seems I'm forever seeking to feel God in my life, with the corresponding seemingly constant stop that coming by way of "God Calling," Joel Goldsmith, Fr Richard Rohr...all my go-tos.
Interesting to me is the realization that this may be a classic case of reading, understanding, agreeing with, and continuing to do that which I understand to be a spiritual no-no. Quit with the trying to feel God...I read, I understand from my eyebrows up...but my heart is stayed in its longing to feel God.
Blinding flash: It's a feeling akin to when the love of my young life was drafted...daily, hourly probably, I longed to feel his presence back in my life. My heart could not stop yearning...my eyes hurt for the sight of him, my ears ached for the sound of his voice. My love was present in the world just not visible to me at that moment.
There it is. God is ever present, just not visible.
An added giftee: This explains the many references in spiritual literature to God as lover...which, admittedly, I never before got. Thank you.
Thank you.
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