We can read elsewise, and we can think we realize, but we cannot avoid the truth; namely, we come to God, to our inner I, through suffering. This is the way of surrender...self's protective shell of ego is being cracked open, shattered and shucked.
Surrender has been called the unfathomable ecstasy of the crucifixion of self...I call it crash and burn, but surrender of self by any name is essential for a peaced self. It cannot be understood by the reasoning mind, only by the heart or maybe the Soul or maybe...God alone knows, so we open to God.
Neither that unfathomable ecstasy nor the crash and burn are attainable by self-will...not by sincere want-to not by honest effort. It is not explainable...by me at any rate. I am still at the place where I go to God for God and that is all. What I get is for my benefit no matter my reasoning mind's take on it, and I am grateful...or I quick get grateful by grace and by God.
While sitting and waiting on the Lord, I often take flights of wonder. In a recent one, the ego regarded itself as the I's Fort Knox...I am the gold, ego the guardian of the Fort...none enter without pain and suffering. Clearly, it is the fear of that perilous pain that maintains ego's hold; but ego's hold is broken with the realization: I feel fear, God is here. I love my flights of wonder.
We experience resurrection...embedded in travail itself.... Author and professor Julia Gatta
Thank you.
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