In my favorite Zoom meeting yesterday morning, I was cut off...I assumed for talking too long. The first time in my fifty years that has happened to me. I was mortified, and, ego leading the way, almost started to wallow in it. But these little "giftees" started almost right on my 50th anniversary...they are happening a lot and from the first I have gut-bucket known that they are happening for me, for my personal and spiritual benefit. And that's when God flashed the fact that this latest, getting cut off, is the answer to what I had been sharing.
These God gifts may not be pretty, but they are for my good, and each one is leading me free of my egoic mind's siren-song. My only need is to trust God. They are each one specific to me...as with this one, I have NO patience for anyone who I judge is talking too long.
While I was thanking God, I got the word that I needed to call the Chair who had cut me off and thank her for just that...for her good judgment and courage. Trust me, I was less than delighted with that word, but for my own self, I knew: If I want to feel it, mean it, use it for the benefit of the next person in line, this is the way.
I sat with my God until I was completely sure I could call her and thank her from the bottom of a grateful heart for moving the meeting forward. I did, and she had no idea what I was talking about. Seriously.
She did not cut me off...the Zoom connection went silent so she finally just said 'thank you for your share' because nothing was being heard! My faulty connection was my God bringing me to consciously do that which I preach...pray thank you and give over, give up, give in. Then love and laugh.
God is so good.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment