I suspect a major source of our woes is our mistaking our wants for our needs. Wants are of self, needs are of God. The Father knows our needs.
I believe I have made a freeing discovery going back to my ten-year-old self, a discovery, if correct, that can change the whole pattern of my life. I want to nail that down, be not just assured but ensured that it is right, and I am now free, see me fly!
Comes now the hard part for self...for God is in this moment...here Now, not a moment before or a moment from, but Now. When fully realized, that pretty much puts the period to "want." Face it, want is just another word for future, or more specifically, not Now.
It is only recently when I had my blinding flash, yet I want to have irrefutable proof Now. Proof that it is all I want it to be, i.e., the solvent to the poison of the memories of my childhood trauma...setting egoic wheels in motion. Who can I turn to? Who can help me figure this out? Why can't my mentor of thirty years be here for me Now? Should I go to a therapist? Which one?
God loves me so much. None of my self-generated fix-it wants are apparent or even exist to God...leaving me free to love and laugh at those same fix-its. Today...mostly...I freely accept my egoic mind, as in, taking myself too seriously, because...mostly...I do my God-guided actions.
Then I do what I do: Go into my quiet time, lay my perceived problem before God, tell me and he that I'm good with whatever he's got, pray thank you, and then trust him to keep me informed. I repeat if and as necessary for my own imperfect self.
When we’re doing life right, it means nothing more than it is right now, because God is in this moment in a non-blaming way. When we are able to experience that, taste and enjoy it, we don’t need to hold on to it. The next moment will have its own taste and enjoyment. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," February 13, 2022
Believe that, believe that, and walk worry free...for Now.
Thank you.
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