Imagine my surprise when I finally read that correctly...the word is "transform," not "transfer."
I spent a great deal of time trying to learn how to just keep my mouth shut...my ego, ever having the last word, would activate my mouth, and I'd eventually, if not sooner, wind up with a bad case of the rues, regrets and remorses...over my own flapping lips, loose jaw, bad behavior.
Slowly I learned that the key to me was not the wounding by mouth, it was the pain of self unaccepted.
Almost any sound coming out of my mouth...from set 'em straight popoffs to pretty compliments to currying-favor prayers...was cause for my regrets. And trying to justify. Or bald-faced lie in denial. Or, or, or.
That is called "transferring." Who knew?
The beginning of my "transformation" came in the space of a heartbeat. I tossed out a throw-away line, and two souls caught it...one was a good and decent person who just smiled, the other was me, my inner Me.
I immediately said, without guile or giggle, "I apologize." That's all. And I was a changed person.
I did not realize I was changed, a transformed person if you will, for some time after. I am not entirely stupid, I knew I no longer could freely smart off, and mostly I have not. Gratefully, in looking back I can see the upward path deeper upon which I was moved.
The good news: In that instance, the pain of self unaccepted was transformed.
The better news: The pain of self unaccepted is ever with us...which is our revolving door to God. To love.
I wonder if that isn't what fear is...the pain of self unaccepted. BFO, or our inner wish for Now to be different.
We must go beyond reason....
Thank you.
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