[This is a reprint of my post of September 8, 2017.]
I had an "out of head" experience yesterday. A long-time friend had passed, and several of us gathered to share remembrances. We were talking about the way we were back in the day. Nearing time to break up, I was moved, for I know not what reason, to share how I was feeling right that very minute...which was very like I used to feel at any gathering back in the day; i.e., anxious, intimidated, near tears, shaky...uncool in a word. A couple of others shared and we parted with hugs, end of that story.
Later, my head went into overdrive: What a fool you were! Will you never ever learn? What is the matter with you? I'll bet they're all thinking, 'Whoa, what a dolt she is!' Lord, why do you take coffee breaks just as I need you most?
And in a flash I heard, What were you wishing for? Did you share exactly how you were feeling just to get admiration for your honesty? Your humility? And if you pulled that off and they are thinking how admirable, etc., you are still being ego-led. If, however, you had no ulterior thought, and they are thinking, 'What a dolt!', you have been blessed beyond imagining.
And I knew that to be true.
This morning, I'm having my doubts...and God grins.
God loves me so much.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment