Monday, July 13, 2020

AN EGO DEFEAT IS TO KNOW GOD'S LOVE

Learning to contain a certain degree of anxiety, and a willingness to not know...and not even need to know...this is how we allow and encounter Mystery. -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," July 12, 2020 

My note in my "God Calling," July 13, 2013:  My morning BFO: yesterday's huge bust to my ego will turn out in my favor by my simply changing my attitude.
 
Rohr's quote together with my own note have given me the pearl beyond price, i.e., the gift of remembrance...and realization.

I remember that I went with that ego bust's BFO by not trying to get others to see my side of the story, by letting it stand without explanation, touching it not, even smiling through. Seven years later, I see that it has turned out not only in my favor, but I have a friend because of it! 

Here's more of the gift...it was in reading Rohr's above quote that I saw that I had proved a Truth for me, that being: Upgrade your attitude, upgrade your problem. 

Since first I was given that Truth, I believed it...and quoted it to anybody who'd listen.  I'm sure I proved it in many ways too little to make note of at the time...but those little ways are how we build our stairway to heaven. I suspect they are too small for our ego to take credit so they settle in and grow within us. 

I recalled Rohr's yesterday quote as I read my note this morning, and it flashed that that was what I  had even quit wishing for since it seemed so impossible for me to reach...namely, I could contain a certain degree of anxiety, and a willingness to not know. And I had experienced it by not reacting to an apparent defeat of my ego. Not only that but, without even fully realizing it, that has been my Impossible Dream. 

Oh, maybe that's what it means to encounter Mystery...clearly a bridge too far for me today. But I know I am heading in the right direction.

To realize God loves us in the midst of an ego defeat is to experience God's love.

Thank you.

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