I find myself again seeking the feeling of God in my life. I was comforted this morning by the thought of the disciples asking Jesus for proof of his authority. He asked them how they could be so long with him and still seek proof. (That is, of course, my extremely faulty remembrance of the story.)
I was comforted because they were walking the dirt he walked, breathing the air he breathed, hearing his words in his own voice...and still their reasoning mind could not comprehend and sought something more in order to believe what they were seeing, feeling, hearing.
Until the reasoning mind comes up with its own answer to its own puzzle, it will not let in the unimaginable; i.e., God. There is no "something more" to see, feel, hear. All there is is within us now, was within them then...it is just not to be found on the level of the reasoning mind.
To find not the proof we seek which is of our own mind but the dimension we know naught of until we get there, we must go deeper to go higher.
In plain words, we must hold our nose and take a leap of faith...repeatedly. Ah, there's the rub. There is no one shot, home free. That's the reasoning mind ever looking for the easier, softer way.
The paradox is: We know we are on the right road going in the right direction when we do doubt...that's what keeps us seeking. Seeking still more spiritual growth, and that is all.
God is so good to us.
Thank you.
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