Don’t be afraid of darkness, of the things that look like they’re going in the wrong direction.
That very well may be the best advice one can receive. It is paradoxical to me, and I call paradox my spiritual tuning fork, so of course I love it. Plus, it invites us to relearn from our own experience...and is there a better teacher? Not to me, there's not. But consider, when we go back in our memories and bring up that which looked so dark a-coming, it most often turned out to be our light when we accepted it.
Possibly the hardest thing I ever did...consciously with this as my intent...was to invite insanity to come get me. I was living with intense anxiety which felt like insanity anyhow, and the thought occurred that maybe this was God's will, that I lose my mind in order to find it. So I sat myself down in the middle of my bed, sobbing all the while, and said right out loud, "Welcome, madness! Come on in!" My heart was pounding like a tom-tom, I was shaking all over and my hands and head were soaked with sweat.
Believe it when I say that I fully expected to go running out the door, frothing at the mouth, tearing my clothes off, and screaming like a banshee.
Nothing happened.
After I got calm, hope began to awaken within me. Slowly hope grew into belief...belief that my fear of insanity was just that...my fear. I have never again had anxieties as debilitating as those were then...which is not to say I have not had anxieties. I just have the formula for living with them today: I welcome them, say my thank you, and think of God and the things of God...Pope Francis for example. I'm not even Catholic, but I know "of God" when I see it.
Over time and continuing to this day, I build my house on the rock that God can and will intervene in my life on my behalf.
Thank you.
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