WE ARE SURROUNDED BY LOVE...SO LOVE

[The following is a reworked reprint of my blog of February 17, 2015.]

How did I get so blessed? Today I live in a world surrounded by gratitude...the grace of gratitude.

I am grateful for my little guy, grateful that my love for him is not always convenient, and I love him all the more; grateful for my friends (grateful that I can put an "s" on "friend" without lying), grateful that I care as much for more than one other as I do for myself, grateful that I am loved, grateful that I love.

The big whoopee is the realization that all my gifts are blossoms stemming from the same root...gratitude. And the process is exactly the same as that of a flower blooming...its blossoms do not come from out there, given to the flower if it is "good." They are within, and they will bloom at the exactly right time.

Same goes for mine...they are not gifts given to me from out there. These are gifts that have always been inside me waiting to be released by my own self. The right time for their release may have come the first time I reached out to another...and it didn't matter whether I reached out for help or to help. Just reaching out, away from self, is an act of grace.

Grateful...the gift of grace. Gratitude...grace's fingerprints.

Thank you.

HUG LUCY AND PRAY FOR PEACE

We know we are on the right road going in the right direction with our first denial of self...which feels less than wonderful until after the fact. Sometimes it is only much later that we realize we were touched by angels in that first deciding moment when we denied our own self for the benefit of another.

"For the benefit of another" is the key to God's gifts...not eating a pound of chocolates may be denying our own wants but proof of an angel's presence it is not.

I was reminded of that in my morning prayers as I thanked God for blessing my thoughts...which, I confess, have not improved one iota. I could almost wish I didn't know why, but who's kidding whom? It's Lucy...again. I'm about at the point of needing to admit that she may crack God up, but we are not amused.

I know I'm on the right track, etc., when I hear my innards moaning, "How long oh Lord?" That's when I know my perfected defect of character, the one that's been transmuted, is awake...I am taking myself too seriously. I smile...with a touch of grimace thrown in, but that's right track.

The thought occurs that it's time I accept responsibility for upgrading my thoughts. And here's my spiritual experience come to save the day: I accept responsibility by accepting my thoughts just as they are. Then I can re-realize that God is on the field. I am learning more about humility than I ever could by self-willing thoughts of sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous because it is impossible to hold those thoughts.

It is that very powerlessness that brings me to my knees, with a thank you on my lips, and a hug for Lucy who needs it, too.

Thank you.

ON TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH

There is much resistance to "sit and wait on the Lord and listen," apparently because we do not know how to do that. Our reasoning mind cannot grasp that spinning our wheels analyzing is fruitless...plus not even being a spiritual activity.

The way to sit and wait on the Lord and listen is to do the next thing.

Please note that that does not say "do the next right thing." No. That's probably the root of our walking-around problems...waiting to be absolutely certain sure that we are going to do the right thing.

The next thing we do is the next right thing. It is ego  alone that slides the qualifier in there. That all but guarantees we'll sit and ponder, analyze, cry, talk it over, talk it over some more, trying to figure out exactly what the next right thing is. All that delay is just fear of being wrong.

We'll only know by doing...if it is wrong, it'll only be wrong to the extent that the end result is not what we had in mind. That's how we learn that God's will seldom even resembles our prayerful wants. We only discover that it is infinitely better than we could ever have imagined by going forward seeking always his will over our own will. That is what's called "holding your nose and taking a leap of faith."

I've come to  believe that this is the initiation we read so much about. Initiation that is necessary for us in our coming to trust that which we have decided we believe; namely, that God can and will if sought, that God has our back, that he goes before us to make the crooked places straight, that God can and will intervene in our life in our behalf...all of our goodies.

All are just so many pretty words until we quit talking 'em and start walking 'em. Let's hold our nose and take a leap of faith.

Thank you.

THE FATHER AWAITS

When Pope Francis asked the worker on the street (who had just taken a break from work to come see the Pope pass by) to pray for him, and then grasped the man's hands and all but demanded that he promise to pray for him, we knew we were witnessing Jesus washing the feet of the beggars. That was humility...alive and breathing.

We also knew, but it took longer to travel from God's hidey hole within up to our reasoning mind, that we have that same humility within us...were gifted with it at birth.

We must recognize this as true in order to come to the realization of it. It is the time between recognition and realization that we do our hardest work. Then, here comes the slap-my-face-and-call-me-Spacey, we find out, after all our work a-thinking, it's not our job to begin with!

It's God's job. We just need to listen! Listen!! Sit and wait on the Lord and listen!!!

We'll get answers we do not want. We'll play hide-and-go-seek with our ego...that's my Lucy thinking she's God. We'll find out that trying to hide from God is akin to trying to hide in the corner of a circle. We'll also find out that all of that useless "work" was absolutely essential for our spiritual growth...that is how we come to our powerlessness.

It has been said that God’s power comes through powerlessness and humility. Pope Francis lives that...and because he does, we know we can. If not in this life, the next...or the one after.

Thank you.

GRATITUDE LAYS THE GOLDEN EGG

If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice. -- Meister Eckhart

I came across Meister Eckhart's quote this morning...twice, in two different places. I wasn't aware of praying for anything so I took a minute to ponder that. I realized that I've been resettling scores in my mind...that's fancy talk for breeding a resentment...and I thanked the Meister and God for the golden goose.

When I opened my "God Calling," there was a note I'd written sometime back. It reminded me that we are only ever alone when we're all up in our head...in our reasoning mind...that to live in gratitude is to live in fourth dimension consciousness where there is no alone.

Again, I thanked the Meister and God...this time for the golden egg.

Thank you.

GOD CAN AND WILL IF SOUGHT

Don’t be afraid of darkness, of the things that look like they’re going in the wrong direction.

That very well may be the best advice one can receive. It is paradoxical to me, and I call paradox my spiritual tuning fork, so of course I love it. Plus, it invites us to relearn from our own experience...and is there a better teacher? Not to me, there's not. But consider, when we go back in our memories and bring up that which looked so dark a-coming, it most often turned out to be our light when we accepted it.

Possibly the hardest thing I ever did...consciously with this as my intent...was to invite insanity to come get me. I was living with intense anxiety which felt like insanity anyhow, and the thought occurred that maybe this was God's will, that I lose my mind in order to find it. So I sat myself down in the middle of my bed, sobbing all the while, and said right out loud, "Welcome, madness! Come on in!" My heart was pounding like a tom-tom, I was shaking all over and my hands and head were soaked with sweat.

Believe it when I say that I fully expected to go running out the door, frothing at the mouth, tearing my clothes off, and screaming like a banshee.

Nothing happened.

After I got calm, hope began to awaken within me. Slowly hope grew into belief...belief that my fear of insanity was just that...my fear. I have never again had anxieties as debilitating as those were then...which is not to say I have not had anxieties. I just have the formula for living with them today: I welcome them, say my thank you, and think of God and the things of God...Pope Francis for example. I'm not even Catholic, but I know "of God" when I see it.

Over time and continuing to this day, I build my house on the rock that God can and will intervene in my life on my behalf.

Thank you.

HEAR MY PRAYER...THANK YOU

Hear my prayer...thank you. Hear my prayer...thank you. Hear my prayer...thank you.

Thus begins my morning meditation.

I was reminded of that last night as I watched a rerun of  "Mike and Molly." Mike had never been given a birthday party, and at the end, at his surprise party with all his loved ones around, when he was told to make a wish as he blew out the candles on his cake, he looked puzzled, then said, "I don't have to...I have everything I want right here."

I love when I find my spiritual growth in the dailies of my life. Mike reminded me why it is that I have no need...no want...to pray for anything today...why my prayer can comfortably be "thank you" and that is all. I have everything I want right here...within me.

God loves me and you and them and ours and theirs and puppy dogs and pandas and frogs and Snickerdoodles and...well, God cannot not love. Hear my prayer...thank you.

Thank you.

LEARNING TO LISTEN

[The following is a reprint of my blog, slightly reworked, of March 28, 2012.]

I can tell my mentor anything...ugly gossip, shameful acts, petty peeves...and feel free doing it. I know I am not and will not be judged.

BUT...the reason I have a mentor is not just to have someone to whom I can speak freely, but to have someone to whom I can listen for his feedback. Some of which I do not want to hear. I am grateful today that when I feel myself resisting what I'm hearing from him, I know this is exactly why I shared what I shared...this is what I need to hear. Especially when I feel chastised.

It is neither healthy nor productive to run my uglies without rein and want only a "there, there" in response...that's just spoiling the brat within. The rest of the story... getting to the real growth. Real growth comes from not dressing up my uglies so that I won't get a response I don't want to hear. I can talk to my bathroom mirror and get as much help.

Spit it out and hear...listen for...the feedback. Listen especially for the unspoken feedback. Welcome all of it...for that is the road to freedom from self.

It's not all that difficult to learn the "right" answers...it's a lifetime learning to live those right answers.

Thank you.

QUIT ASKING...BE!

You quite simply don’t have the power to obey the law or follow any ideal—such as loving others, forgiving enemies, nonviolence, or humble use of power—except in and through union with God. -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," January 24, 2017

It is still a wonderment to me when I have a blinding flash of the obvious...which at the time feels utterly original to me...and then I read it later and realize it as a spiritual principle laid down long, long ago. 

What if these spiritual principles were whispered to us as we were aborning? What if all spiritual principles were given to us then?  And they come to us in full understanding only as we grow spiritually...detaching inch-by-inch from our reasoning mind's demands.

Through our conscious efforts daily to grow spiritually, we begin to want to live by spiritual principles. They are waiting within us to be released...spiritual principles such as "loving others, forgiving enemies, nonviolence or humble use of power."

We must remember this: The more we pray for them, the further we take our self from them. We already have all the love, forgiveness, patience there is, truly an endless supply, within us right this very minute. Quit asking for, start using, doing, Being.

Thank you.

IN THE END...SIT AND WAIT ON THE LORD

To control our destiny we need to harness our will, to do not what we like, but what is in our long-term best interest. -- Eknath Easwaran, "Words to Live By," March 22

I have been reading my Easwaran book since 1996, and only this morning did I realize "what is in our long-term best interest" means...the underlying message, so to speak.

Ah, but we can't always be certain sure what our long-term best interest actually is. That's why sometimes, when we pray for God's will to be done in our life, we pray with our fingers crossed..."Just don't let it be this, please" or "Make it that, if you will."

I'm convinced that our long-term best interest is in what we do for others. The paradoxical part in doing for others lies in what we know our own self to be capable of doing.

Years ago when my dad died, my mother asked me to come home to live with her. That was a physical, mental and spiritual impossibility for me...which probably boils done to I did not want to, but it caused me great stress at the time. I even bought a two-bedroom, two-bath condo for her to come live with me. She chose not which was best for both of us, but there is the root of the paradox: Doing for others sometimes requires saying, "No." And, I'm here to say that takes some long and serious talks with God through our mentor and confidants.

First, it is essential that we know who we are and what we are all about. Until we know our own self from our toenails up, warts and wonders, we will be dragged through the alleys of our own mind by a simple request that required a "no" answer to begin with.

I am reminded of an embroidered pillow on my grandmother's sofa which read, In the end, all that matters is what we do for God.

How do we "do" for God? We do for others...starting with asking God what he has in mind then waiting for his answer.

Thank you.

FORGIVE...THEN FORGIVE AGAIN

My mind was on Etty Hillesum this morning. Etty of the Holocaust whose last words in her diary as she went to the showers at Auschwitz were "We should be willing to act as a balm for all wounds."

I thought of her in my quiet time this morning as I prayed and meditated. Prayed and thanked God for blessing my various peeps. Then, without thinking, I said, "God bless America." The last time I said that without prompting was on September 11, 2001. Clearly, my thoughts for America are running a tish scared.

Then God gifted me with a teensy-tiny glimmer about the people I prayed for. He encouraged me to add the president's name. So I did...quick, fast and in a hurry...get it over with so to speak. God, knowing no limits, then suggested I include Putin. That I bless and love Vladimir Putin.

I cannot...or will not...say how long it took me to get over myself, my resistance, my anger at the very idea of blessing Vladimir Putin, much less extending love. And there it is.

How much time have I spent pondering and writing about how and why to love Gertrude, et al., when yet again in my mind I've been wronged? And finally releasing my resistance through God's loving kindness (and half the time giving myself points for that)?

The reasoning mind cannot accept that extending love to evil will not make evil stronger...it may be the only thing that weakens evil by strengthening good. Again: We must go beyond reason to love.

How many times do we forgive a wrong-doer? Seven times? No. Seventy times seven...by that time, it'll be our way of life and we'll quit counting and just forgive. This according to my interpretation of the Lord's command.

Thank you.

I'LL THROW IN WITH GOD EVERY TIME

For unto everyone that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. -- Somewhere in the Bible.

This has been a hard lesson learning for me...when I finally realized it was all about fourth dimension consciousness, it was a happy ah-ha moment. Hanging on to that realization, though.... For a long time, every time I reread it, I would feel about half peeved at the perverseness of it all.

I have finally made it my own, and I feel great comfort when I sit with it today. I come again to the inner message that those who have been lifted deeper into the fourth dimension, the place of perfect peace, and have elected to live there (by choosing God's will over our own will) continue to know and to show deeper peace, love and joy at an ever higher plane.

On the other hand, those who stay in the material mind, analyzing, diagramming, in the ego-perfect paradigm of self-determined objectives, will lose those rare glimpses of the fourth dimension as if they had never been. They will continue to know and to show the unfairness of life. And what liberty? Plus, all I do is pursue happiness. Bah and humbug.

Life really is a matter of choice...my way or the High Way.

Choose you this day whom ye will serve. -- Joshua 24:15

Thank you.

THAT'S WHAT HE'S THERE FOR

I attended an Elizabeth Kubler-Ross "Life, Death and Transition" workshop twenty-five years ago. It was transforming mainly in the "little" things I learned.

It was from that workshop that I learned the Big Little Thing: Unless we are asked, never offer a Kleenex to a person who is sharing and crying. She or he might be right at the point of breakthrough, of finally being able to speak her secret...the secret that she herself most likely did not know. And here comes a big old hand with a Kleenex waving in her face. Totally distracting her, while telling her, in effect, her breakthrough is secondary to her runny nose.

That Kleenex is for our benefit, not hers. The runny nose is embarrassing to us...she's unaware of it since she is on the brink of realizing that which may set her free.

This was such an important lesson to me because I identified it completely with God's will for us. We think we know what God's will is when an apparent need is right in front of us...without blinking or thinking, we go for what we perceive as necessary. And when it turns out less than wonderful, we doubt God...doubt he's on our side, doubt his very existence.

A need that is apparent to our reasoning mind is more often than not a want that we'd best pass on by.

Sit and wait on the Lord. Listen. Give thanks for butterflies and rainbows. If we have a need, it will be fulfilled through us...not by our self-determined objective, but by God guiding our feet, our hands, our tongue...our very self. That's what he's there for.

Thank you.

LOVE IS BEYOND REASON

There is a 'you,' and that 'you' is invisible, eternal, and immortal. That 'you' is the very presence of God. It is for this reason that the place whereon you stand is holy ground, because wherever you are, there the very presence of God is, looking out at the world through your eyes.-- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism," at p. 1247

It is that "holy ground," that rock, on which we must needs build our sense of Self...daily...for it is our bedrock, our taproot, our Spirit's hidey-hole.

Our reasoning mind can never find its comfort there.

Go beyond reason...to love.

Thank you.

THERE IS NO BETTER IDEA

We must be our authentic self. That gets a lot of guffaws and smarty-pants remarks, like, "What other self do you expect me to be?" And that from my own mouth! Once again, contempt prior to investigation out there in front...which phrase, I'm convinced, is the best tool there is for bringing us our necessary, albeit dreaded, humility. (Humiliation, just humility aborning.)

To me, God is not everything, God is in everything. We are each of us born with a tish of God's authenticity within us...different from anyone elses, unique to each of us. It is that spot of divine authenticity that unites us, unites the universe. Until we realize that, until we accept that unification, we will live in an either/or world, dual consciousness. According to me.

Some of us will spend a large part of our life trying to conform to our perception of others' standards. Some of us will spend our time trying to be the exact opposite of that. And many, if not most, of us will try to walk both roads at the same time...trying to get the approval of others by being cleverly different.

In these my later years, I have let go of a great deal of my self-imposed standards...I found all they did was keep my sense of inferior superiority alive and kicking my butt daily. I have, however, held on to two sentences that ensure my peace:

1. Most important was the discovery that spiritual principles could solve all of my problems.
2. Just try not to be as nasty as you want to be.

I'm convinced I'm my authentic self when I consciously rely on those two sentences in order to bring the welfare of others up before my concern for my own self. I can believe I am being my authentic self, that spot of God glimmering within, because my rag-a-muffin self will always have a better idea.

Thank you.

GOD'S WARM WELCOME FLOWS OUT

We have to extend our self to be rid of self...there is no other way. Hiding, withdrawing, "passing by on the other side of the street," is self in the uppermost part of our mind...self in control. It is by extending our self that we are letting our Self flow forth. The extension is the invisible power of God.

I suspect fear of extending our self is based in fear of rejection or looking silly...any number of ego fears hold us back. That leads me to believe that embarrassment is the ego's joystick. Why would we play with that?  

No. We feel the fear, kiss it on the lips and acknowledge our gratitude that God has our back (a "Thank You" will do it). We then mentally extend our self by moving forward with our hand out and a welcoming smile on our face.

That is all that is necessary for us to pass on God's warm welcome to another. That welcome lives within us, anticipating being loosed and set free. In getting over self, we show forth love.

Thank you.

STILL SEEKING...GRATEFULLY

I find myself again seeking the feeling of God in my life. I was comforted this morning by the thought of the disciples asking Jesus for proof of his authority. He asked them how they could be so long with him and still seek proof. (That is, of course, my extremely faulty remembrance of the story.)

I was comforted because they were walking the dirt he walked, breathing the air he breathed, hearing his words in his own voice...and still their reasoning mind could not comprehend and sought something more in order to believe what they were seeing, feeling, hearing.

Until the reasoning mind comes up with its own answer to its own puzzle, it will not let in the unimaginable; i.e., God. There is no "something more" to see, feel, hear. All there is is within us now, was within them then...it is just not to be found on the level of the reasoning mind.

To find not the proof we seek which is of our own mind but the dimension we know naught of until we get there, we must go deeper to go higher.

In plain words, we must hold our nose and take a leap of faith...repeatedly. Ah, there's the rub. There is no one shot, home free. That's the reasoning mind ever looking for the easier, softer way.

The paradox is: We know we are on the right road going in the right direction when we do doubt...that's what keeps us seeking. Seeking still more spiritual growth, and that is all.

God is so good to us.

Thank you.

PENETRATE THINGS AND FIND GOD THERE

More and more I am understanding that all of our problems are in our mind. Or, we perceive all of our problems as outside of our self but they make their home in our mind.

This is what still more spiritual growth demands of us...that we leave our home in our head and go deeper into our Soul, i.e., the kingdom of heaven.

There will always be Gertrudes and gremlins and wants and wonders in our walking-around world. Our ability to detach from our own fascination with them is the measure of our spiritual growth.

To be sure, this requires effort and love, a careful cultivation of the spiritual life, and a watchful, honest, active oversight of all one's mental attitudes towards things and people. * * * We must learn to penetrate things and find God there. -- Meister Eckhart

Thank you.

HOW WE SUFFER IS OUR DETERMINER

Recent blinding flash of the obvious as I was drifting into sleep: How we suffer sets the course of our daily life.

Fleshing that out in the light of day has been a toughie. Suffer. There's the entire message in that word. We duck and dodge suffering at all costs...it even sounds painful, feels painful rolling off our tongue. But we're taught that great suffering and/or great love are necessary if we are ever going to be free of our own self...if we are ever going to grow spiritually.

Our understanding of both "suffering" and "love" is what needs to change. We resist suffering, we welcome love, and we have no inner understanding of either. We are still in the mental kiddie pool thinking, "Suffering feels bad, love feels good...shut up already."

The problem being we are trying for spiritual understanding but using our reasoning mind. Spiritual understanding is to see in the opposite direction from our material mind.

Suffering is not altogether a bad thing, love does not always feel like a good thing. What if it is that on the spiritual plane they entwine? What if there is not one without the other following?...great suffering begets great love.

Somewhere in the Bible it says something like we must suffer it to be so now in order for us to get to heaven tomorrow.

Heaven...the kingdom of heaven...is opened to us through our surrender of self. Nobody ever surrendered self without suffering, and nobody ever found the kingdom of heaven without realizing love at their center. According to me.

Thank you.

CHOOSE...THEN SERVE

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man. -- Leon Trotsky

Now there's a truth. What's so stupefying is the many surprises old age brings. We hear about the aches, pains, ailments of old age from early on. Unfortunately that's all true. However, it is only in arriving there...and so soon!...that we experience things no one ever talked about. (Or was it that we weren't listening...hey, old age is not about me!) We sometimes feel an unease, a doubt of our abilities, an uncertainty that seems to hover without ever landing.

Those who never left the false security of our reasoning mind are forced to rely on self solutions...double up on meds or triple up on meds. And carp, cry, complain. That's the reasoning mind on parade when it finds itself left all alone.

Those who threw in with still more spiritual growth get an inside rush for, once again, here's comes God to save the day! We get the golden goose reminder that the solution to our problems is rarely if ever what we have in mind. My old-age want list is that I quit with the aches and pains already, get my 20-year-old's self confidence back, and fuller hair, please and thank you.

This is how we learn that bottomless truth, spiritual principles can solve all our problems. My aches and pains are here to stay...but for the first time I am doing an hour of exercise every morning...and enjoying it! My 20-year-old self confidence went the way of my 20-year-old me...so I'm asking friends for an arm to lean on, or to go with me when I'm feeling uncertain. Fuller hair...I'm holding out for it not getting any thinner. Ego dies hard, and Lucy has her standards.

So the solution to all our problems is: Surrender to and accept that which is. Then get grateful that we can change our life's circumstances by getting out of what we want and getting grateful for what we got.

Upgrade our attitude, we upgrade our problems. But only if we choose to, and there it is...our choice. Choose you this day whom ye shall serve.

Thank you.

IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE LIVING LIFE IN PEACE

[Following is a reworked blog of mine from March 7, 2012.]

I’m convinced the only thing that anyone needs or will ever need to overcome is self...the ego-centered self.

The never easy but always simple path to follow is the one that leads to ego-deflation. The reasoning mind will never get us there. If we’ll ever have a chance, it will be through our making our self available to be lifted above the reasoning mind to a deeper reality within…that much-discussed, hard-found, center of our being, the kingdom of heaven.

The path to peace is ours here and now through the very next thought we choose...just choose other than self. Consciousness-raising 101...Imagine.

Imagine all the people living life in peace. -- John Lennon

Thank you.

WE ALREADY LIVE IN THE KINGDOM

Any chance of freedom from fear of anything depends entirely on our reliance on a power greater than ourselves...a power we have no way to control, influence or curry favor. That dependence is naught but love.

We must needs let a whole new understanding of love emerge from our own heart, soul, body and brain. It is already there, there along with joy and peace. Love comes in the form of nonresistance through acceptance...or acceptance through nonresistance.

It is, in fact, the love of God. It is not for us to seek the love of God, it is for us to realize the love of God already within us/without us. There. Right there within us/without us, the kingdom of heaven.

Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven....

Thank you.

PRACTICE LOVING AND LAUGHING TODAY

I am pondering the thought that a fight averted is God's will done right. That is fairly easy to accept, but it is how we get to that "fight averted" that requires our spiritual strength.

In a tiff, an argument or a flat-out fight, it really does not matter who is right because no party to the disturbance is 100 percent either right or wrong.

I have  in the main ceased outwardly fighting anything and anybody. I have, however, recently had to add  "my thoughts" to my list of Special Prayers For. (This is an extremely short list of friends I love some of whom are in some way suffering...it includes Pope Francis because he asked.)

Averting a fight requires all of our thought, energy, and spiritual muscle to just become willing to pull our rigid, righteous and right self out, and bring God in. To focus on God or things of God is the only way I've found to detach from my self-righteous thoughts...I mentally stretch out beside a bed of lilies of the valley and inhale deeply...their scent is of God.

It is a certainty that if I focus on saying repeatedly that I am wrong, or that I may be wrong, I will end up in a heartbeat fifteen minutes later wallowing in my own thoughts of how I can set her straight or what perfectly succinct zinger I can shoot to destroy him.

It is regrettably true that I can think of a couple instances right now where I am right...justifiably right...and how redundant is that?  However, God is not available on demand, and finding my thoughts galloping down that wrong road again, quick asking God to bring 'em back home to him, will not bring me peace of mind. And there it is. That is why we practice, practice, practice elevating our own thoughts, words and actions. That is our prep work in order for us to experience the wondrous works of God.

By the way, I added "my thoughts" to my prayer list to remind me early in the morning what my job is this day. It is to practice loving and laughing with God with me.

Thank you.

ACCEPTANCE THROUGH VULNERABILITY

We are never more at our inviting best than when we are utterly vulnerable...yet we resist with a will of iron showing our vulnerability.

I wonder if that isn't because we confuse vulnerable with victim...victim only becomes a less-than-comforting thing in our growing-up years. Victim was how we got our mother's attention, her love, her "poor-little-girl." It wasn't until we learned that an "atta girl" outshone "poor little" by a mile that our consciousness began to shift.

When we found our self forced by circumstances (we got caught) to admit to, say, a shameful fact or feeling, and the person(s) who heard our admission gave us happy hugs, we caught another of life's painful/comforting lessons...we learned that vulnerability, like acceptance, cannot be willed...it must be earned.

We get there through our own dance with the devil, which is ego deflation plain and simple. Ego deflation could be known as "crash and burn" which, who's kidding whom, does not sound like an inviting prospect.

We are brought there by the admission of our powerlessness, inwardly kicking and screaming often red-faced weeping with snot flying, mainly because we realize we must seek higher than our own self for help. Paradoxically, it is that mental picture of our vulnerable self that may be our biggest block, but to one seeing such honest pain, it is a call to their heart to offer us comfort.

Finally, we accept that we cannot get to the other side of self by means of self...self-protection, self-control, none will get us free of me. And there it is, the full cycle of vulnerability...feel shame and pain, admit it to another, get acceptance, love and laugh.

Thank you.

THE PEACE THAT PASSES UINDERSTANDING

Even knowing that all of our woes, past and future, are birthed in our mind, I am often amused to find me resisting my favorite line, "Most important is the discovery that all my problems can be solved by spiritual principles." (By "resisting," I mean, of course, that I find myself worrying, judging, fretting.)

We must needs look under those words for starving to death in a ditch, thinking the Father will provide, will not bring us eggs over easy, bacon on the side. No. If we should find our self starving to death in a ditch with not a hope of help, it is near impossible for our reasoning mind to accept that food is not our primary need. In truth, praying for food then is like throwing gasoline on a brush fire...it enflames our fear.

Our primary need is to still our fearful mind, and quieting our mind with the spiritual principle the Father will provide can bring our head and heart peace even as we lie dying. (How we die is utterly immaterial since we for sure will...although I admit I'm always opting for "in my sleep.")

There it is. God's will for us is that we live in peace within our self. Up there in our head, no matter what, to know and to show that God has our  back...all ways and always...is the peace that passes all understanding.

Thank you.

BELIEVE IT!

A human being is part of the whole, called by us "universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for  us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all  living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. -- Albert Einstein

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.... -- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It," Act 11, Scene VII

There is no Gertrude to protect. -- The words spoken to my friend Gertrude when she was planning an ocean voyage and asked her spiritual director for a prayer to protect her.

There it is...a  genius scientist, an equal-in-genius poet, and a hometown, but brilliant, spiritual director all saying the same thing: We are One. You, me, Ruckus, Aslan, Pope Francis, a rattlesnake and a porcupine...the universe and all in it...we are One.

Interestingly, I found it easier to believe, to accept, Einstein than I did my friend Gertrude's spiritual director. And I know that would be true even if it was Pope Francis who had said "There is no Gertrude to protect." I'd hope, but I only really believed when I read Einstein.

We are born into the material world, we will depart from the material world, and our work in between need only be in detaching from the material mind. (It is easier to believe coming from a high-flying mind than from a deeply spiritual soul, though, isn't it?)

Thank you.

OPEN OUR SELF TO OUR HATE AND TO OUR LOVE

Here are two interesting facts that today seem relevant to me:

1. Anyone --  male or female -- who has not gone on journeys of powerlessness will invariably abuse power.
2. Hatred holds a group together much more quickly and easily than love and inclusivity. (Both come from Fr. Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation" of last October.)

I find both quotes equally interesting, probably because I can see me so clearly in them...not that I've ever abused power, never having had much to begin with, but in the past I've invited abuse through my fear of being powerless. Hiding from my own powerlessness over my fear of looking the fool, of being left out, of being wrong by speaking out, etc., has been my bane.

Hatred gathering others more easily than love is a really uncomfortable identifying point. Here again, not that I hate really, but looking deep into that statement, I recognize myself in my judgments. More friendships than I care to admit to have begun with finding someone who agrees with my negative judgment of another. A judgment is just hate before it sours. Starts out simple enough, turns bad before we're fully aware of it...like milk left out on a warm day.

I wonder if hate doesn't hold a group together through the feeling it gives us of opaqueness...as if our hate were a shield, and when banded together with others' hate keeps us safe...or, even better, superior.

Love, though, is utterly transparent...open to the kindness of strangers and to the slings and arrows of hatred. Transparency banded together is still transparent (uh-oh); it is, however, the only path open to God (amen).

Life's lesson to learn is: Opening our self, our mind and our heart, to our fear and to our love frees us. Turn hate out, invite love in. There...the How-To book for becoming free from the bondage of self.

Thank you.

WE RELY ON GOD...GOD ALONE

We are each and everyone of us capable of ugly...that's why we "poor, pitiful few" depend on the Father within us/without us. God is greater than...than I am, than you are, than the country, the world, or the universe for that matter. That is why my inner goal is ever for still more spiritual growth. Without that, I am capable of anything my worst offender is capable of.

Eknath Easwaran's "Word to Live By" today has a profound quote by Thomas A Kempis: It is no little wisdom for a man to keep himself in silence and in good peace when evil words are spoken to him, and to turn his heart to God and not to be troubled with man's judgment.

There are people who are instigators...they are not bad people, it's just in their DNA. They stir the pot of the human condition and see what lands on whom...and who'll keep the pot hot.

When we get caught in that maelstrom, and we will if we are doing it right ("right" being free from fear of making a mistake), our best outcome, our only hope of spiritual growth, is to not pick up the challenge...i.e., to forego the righteous indignation of setting somebody straight. For the indignation will not be at the Instigator but at the target of the Instigator...that's the Instigator's reason for living.

To not pick up the challenge is our Achilles heel for the challenge is always to our ego. It is not the Instigator we pass on by, it is our ego. And my ego Lucy will have none of that without arm wrestling with God about it. How long the contest goes on is a measure of my spiritual growth. The measure being of my willingness to agree with my adversary quickly without selling my soul to keep my idea of peace. We must apply the Sermon as we have learned it or why learn it?

It feels like a fine line we're walking here, but that's exactly what we must walk in order to learn and to rely on: He performs that which is given us to do and the Father within, He does the works and all the many other promises.

The way to live the wisdom Thomas A Kempis spoke of is to keep in mind that nothing is personal to our self, that what we heard is not necessarily what was said...and rarely what was meant if our ear heard ugly, awful and mean. We can be certain sure there was hurt in there somewhere for hurt people hurt people.

If we are ever to live in peace within our own self, we learn to mentally hug 'em and kiss 'em and let 'em  go. To do that, we must rely heart, soul, body and brains on God.

Thank you.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING

Here's a disconcerting thought: In sloth - physical, mental or spiritual - there is no sense of failure or discomfort.

How inviting does that sound! To have no sense of failure or discomfort is an answered prayer...on the face of it.

Ah, but there's always a rest of the story. This one begins with our brain meeting up with our feelings. We are not braindead, and my brain does not hesitate to generate a sense of, as my friend Kath says, somethin' ain't right. Having no sense of failure or discomfort in my world is fairly close to flat lining...for sure, something is off.

The only thing I've found that'll overpower that "somethin' ain't right" feeling is to take action...do something about something, a lesson learned long ago. It may still be the foundation of any and all of my spiritual growth.

It seems to me that a lot of spiritual growth begins with a feeling of stuck...stuck in despair. That may be God's best teaching tool!

Interestingly, the last thought that comes to our reasoning mind is that this feeling of stuck in despair means we are, in fact, stuck in self. There it is...the detach button we need to push to open our mind. We begin to realize that the only sure way out of our stuck place is through a power greater than self.

Many people find many different things to call their Higher Power and good on them. Mine is God, and good on me. Whatever gets us out of stuck-in-self is a good thing if it works...go with it. Again I say, if it works, go with it.

So, proving the contention that all things lead to good, sloth too is a good thing. Done right, it will lead us to God. (Albeit, who's kidding whom, there are better ways.)

Thank you.

PERFECT PEACE THROUGH GOD

I could almost wish it weren't true, but it is a fact: I have extremely high standards for other people.

I'm glad I don't wish that fact away, because most times when I catch myself mentally applying those high standards (i.e., sitting in judgment), I laugh. And that right there is all the proof I need that God lives...within me, without me...for I am convinced that only my own laughter can deny my ego Lucy her power. To Lucy there is no finer feeling than sitting in judgment. And it makes no difference who she's sitting in judgment of...you, me or the mailman, she just loves sitting in judgment.

Conversely, when I suspect you are mentally applying your high standards to me (i.e., same goes, sitting in judgment), there's no laughter to be found in me for Lucy is the filter of that suspicion. She's the filter, the Censor, the Judge, the jury...and this is no laughing matter because it is not fair.

The good news is I know that about me and old Lucy. The better news is I know that self-knowledge alone avails us nothing. The best news: It is self-knowledge married up with the Father within that brings love and laughter.

There. According to me that's a spiritual principle, and spiritual principles are the solution to all life's problems.

Thank you.

THE SIDE BENNIES OF FREEDOM

I have read in many different books that ignorance isn't what we don't know, it's what we think we do know...and are dead wrong about, all the while refusing to open our minds to another view.

I am right. There...that's the most dangerous thought we can hold onto. Dangerous because we must first believe our self right on the primary level of learning in order to ever move to the second level and on. If we're stuck holding to our idea, we're stuck in self.

It is the holding to a thought, unwilling to open to another way of looking at the situation, that proves our danger. Because there is no need to declare our self wrong even. We only need to let a little light in...into our mind...to expand our thoughts on the matter.

Of course it is fear of being wrong about a particular topic that keeps our mind in permanent lockdown. Maybe a deeper fear is of the other someone being right...which sets off ego's alarm bells for sure. I can feel old Lucy starting to stir now.

I think that's why humility has such a hard time of it. Let's face it...we don't get a bellyful of humility when we're basking in how sweet I am right feels.

Here's an off-the-top-of-my-head rule: If we don't feel humbled when we "win" a disagreement, we've probably just bought a resentment. We bask at our own peril because we have not taken the first necessary step...considered and admitted our part in the thing to begin with.

There's our humility...that dreaded but necessary (or vice versa) act if we are ever to live free of our own self-will. Happy and joyous are side bennies of that freedom.

Thank you.