My morning blinding flash of the obvious: It is not that we hate anyone, it is just that we love our self more.
I roll that around for awhile...it is not that I hate anyone, it is just that I love myself more than anyone. How do I reconcile that "I love myself more" with my sometimes feelings of self-hate, self-unacceptance?
I suspect the two words love and hate are the problem. It is not an easy matter to get a grip on what exactly "love" means...means to me personally. I've never pondered hate, per se. I don't doubt that it started out in my life as a blanket that I threw over anything that felt negative. But now that I've got my spiritual water wings, I don't call it hate...I either call it "less than wonderful" or I ignore it.
Love on the other hand. I've been studying...actually, honestly, studying...for over forty years. I'm almost embarrassed to admit (except that I've admitted it so many times that it's laughable now) that I was in my thirties before I realized (i.e., got the concept!) that there are different kinds of love. Before that, to me there was boy-girl love and that's it. I had good friends that I felt just swell toward...it never entered my mind that was love.
I suspect that my first dog, my Ari, a Maltese with whom I was madly in love and I knew it, was my breakthrough example of non-romantic love being as all-important as romantic love. Who's kidding whom, though? Pets are on the same level as humans in the love world.
But when I say, "God is love," what exactly does that mean to me personally? First thought: Acceptance...then, non-resistance (which is the same, though, isn't it?).
Free-floating thoughts: Love allows everything to flow in and through and sets it in the right direction as it flows. That's how God perfects that which is given me to do. As my errors, misjudgments, missteps flow, they affect others. For my own sake, I acknowledge my errors as soon as I am aware of them, but God has already gone before us to make the crooked places straight for all concerned. Our job is to know that and to show that, meaning simply to forgive (another word for acceptance). There. That is how I reconcile my conundrum...forgiveness of self and others.
All of which may or may not be so, I just let it flow.
Thank you.
I roll that around for awhile...it is not that I hate anyone, it is just that I love myself more than anyone. How do I reconcile that "I love myself more" with my sometimes feelings of self-hate, self-unacceptance?
I suspect the two words love and hate are the problem. It is not an easy matter to get a grip on what exactly "love" means...means to me personally. I've never pondered hate, per se. I don't doubt that it started out in my life as a blanket that I threw over anything that felt negative. But now that I've got my spiritual water wings, I don't call it hate...I either call it "less than wonderful" or I ignore it.
Love on the other hand. I've been studying...actually, honestly, studying...for over forty years. I'm almost embarrassed to admit (except that I've admitted it so many times that it's laughable now) that I was in my thirties before I realized (i.e., got the concept!) that there are different kinds of love. Before that, to me there was boy-girl love and that's it. I had good friends that I felt just swell toward...it never entered my mind that was love.
I suspect that my first dog, my Ari, a Maltese with whom I was madly in love and I knew it, was my breakthrough example of non-romantic love being as all-important as romantic love. Who's kidding whom, though? Pets are on the same level as humans in the love world.
But when I say, "God is love," what exactly does that mean to me personally? First thought: Acceptance...then, non-resistance (which is the same, though, isn't it?).
Free-floating thoughts: Love allows everything to flow in and through and sets it in the right direction as it flows. That's how God perfects that which is given me to do. As my errors, misjudgments, missteps flow, they affect others. For my own sake, I acknowledge my errors as soon as I am aware of them, but God has already gone before us to make the crooked places straight for all concerned. Our job is to know that and to show that, meaning simply to forgive (another word for acceptance). There. That is how I reconcile my conundrum...forgiveness of self and others.
All of which may or may not be so, I just let it flow.
Thank you.
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