A "black" memory from back in the day visited itself upon me last night. Another one of my rues, regrets and remorses dressed up like as if it was my owner.
I heard myself asking God to please take those memories away, lift them out of me, release me from them. Fortunately God was paying close attention because he calmed my rampaging mind and then reminded me that that is what most of us over the age of 50 fear the most... our memories, our very minds, being taken from us!
God and I have walked this road before. He changes my mind, turns it peaceful and we chat. I tell him I am ready for him to amplify those memories...bring them out stronger and clearer so I can kiss them on the lips and walk free in my own head.
The almost unbelievably good news is that I very well know that this is exactly what he is doing...that he always can and will do this for me. I also know that Lucy will fight him every step of the way because she's allowed...that's her job. Here's the pearl beyond price: Her resistance is the Golden Goose that will keep turning me away from my ego-victory desires, within to God seeking for his will to be done whatever that may be.
This may be my road for the rest of my life which can only be right, just and merciful...that's my guarantee I'll always have peace of mind to turn to by my own personal choosing.
God is so good to me.
Thank you.
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