Bullying begins when one follows his lowest desire, i.e., to get over on another...or, probably more to the point because a bully is actually afraid, to not let another get other on her.
I think of people I know who hone their attack mind and tongue on snark. They seem to always have a few poisoned words to sneak into a casual conversation. That is bullying. Yet, knowing that, it still takes serious work on my part not to use their behavior to justify running my attack mind on them. That is mental bullying which can only be fixed by an attitude adjustment...upgrade it, p.d.q.
Taken to its extreme, to resist verbal bullying leads to physicality with one walking away feeling "The Winner" and "The Loser" walking away plotting revenge. The winner will continue to bully, the loser will continue to plot, and that's how wars begin.
It is my great happiness that I have learned, through sheer necessity, to cease fighting everything and everybody (which I quickly admit I do very, very imperfectly). But, because I was forced to learn that, I was graced with the understanding that my spiritual growth is entirely...that is 100%...contingent upon me finding agreement with jerks, heels and fools, a.k.a., friends, bosses and my sister.
Today I know and, though it may take me awhile, I do search until I find a way to get over my own self, which is simply my own resistance to what my ego Lucy hears as snark. I have to remind me often that if I come out the winner, Gertrude is going to be unhappy; if Gertrude comes out the winner, I'm going to be peeved. We know God's hand is in it when we both walk away happy...with each other.
I was reminded of all this by Fr. Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation" today: If you overcome your enemies, you’ve failed. If you make your enemies your partners, God has succeeded.
Don't you love that?
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment