God's will is very seldom what we think it is at the outset. Learning to detach from our own first thought, or first fix, is a lifetime drill. Since my ego Lucy always legislates for herself...that is, for me...it is impossible to detach by our unaided will. Eventually, and of necessity, we are turned to a higher power.
Most of my life's problems today are with others...I hear often someone say he is powerless over people, places and things. It's 98 percent of the time people with me. So my drill is developing the willingness not to stay with my own idea of what I believe I need...or, in truth, what I believe you need do to make me happy. No. My drill is learning to love without borders.
Since go beyond reason to love has been working for me, imperfectly, but close enough, for awhile now, that is my guide. I am now learning the many different faces and facets of love.
We've all heard of "tough love" which, to my mind, is learning how to correctly rear your children and train your pets. This is the opposite of tough love...it is learning to love with an open hand, an open mind, an open heart. No one is left out... it is a whole 'nother plane of existence which Lucy will fight until three days after we're dead, I'm sure..
I'm just open to learning how to give over to my "adversary" while holding my own...at the same time. I have succeeded a few times, failed repeatedly, but, guess what? There are no forever failures...it keeps coming back until we get it right. And the successes bear witness that this is the path to trudge. Because in each success all concerned have come out feeling more loving toward the other. Don't tell me God's hand isn't in that.
This is an unfinished story...it's life, of course it's unfinished. The twist is that when Lucy and I go to arm-wrestling, yet again, it is exhilarating now. I find me giggling like a teenager wondering how God has planned the result. It's bedtime Christmas Eve, and I'm five years old...I can't wait to wake up tomorrow!
Thank you.
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