WHEN WE KNOW GOD'S HAND IS IN IT

"We do not want to be the individual who cannot die to herself enough to actually seek the common good; this requires a very real death to the ego self, which most will not endure," writes Fr Richard Rohr.

I'm convinced that the only thing we'd best fear is choosing to follow ego. My gravest danger is when I choose to follow my ego Lucy for just one eensy-teensy one-one-hundredth of an inch...no one will ever know I apparently believe.

But Lucy will.

This is our cross-roads...go with self-will or deny self now? To choose self-will is to throw in with Lucy, going for the slight possibility of an ego victory. Knowing full well, from our eyebrows up anyhow, that an ego victory will feel like a defeat less than an hour after scoring.

There. That may well be the dilemma...feeling defeat comes quick, fast, and in a hurry, but feeling spiritual success? Well, isn't that the paradox, the conundrum, the bitch (if you'll pardon my word selection)? Feeling spiritual success is an ego trip...how can one in all humility feel spiritual success? I'm guessing we only know our spiritual growth by looking back, by remembering the way we were, the way it was...and feeling undeserved gratitude from our toenails up for our today.

The thought occurs that even throwing in with Lucy, even going down that wrong road again, we're going down the right road for we still find God...it just takes longer and is more painful than denying Lucy originally.

Knowing that is good, accepting it is better, and doing it is our cross to bear and our pearl beyond price all at the same time. But, hey, that's when we know God's hand is in it. 

Thank you.