I pray that my faith may be based on my own experience of the power of God in my life. I pray that I may know this one thing above all else in the universe. -- "Twenty-Four Hours A Day," Anonymous
I know that I am blessed. I know this to be true because my faith is based on my own experience of the power of God in my life.
The trick to living that which I know is detaching from all the rest...that which I think I know. That part lives in my I See Me and ego, an almost unbreachable combo.
It is a cosmic truth that to fight our ego is to nurture our ego. Resist not. Go to God a-running, breathing thanks that with God all things are possible.
I know I am blessed. Even better, I know you are, too. We are one through love. And laughter.
Thank you.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Sunday, February 28, 2016
THE SOURCE OF ALL OUR WOES..
More and more I am convinced that the secret to peace in this life is learning the art of love and laughter. Learning it, then living it. And that is all.
Whatever comes to us on foot or in fantasy, looking ugly or looking good, love it by welcoming it...resist not. When, not if, we find our self resisting...laugh. Laugh at our self not for resisting but for taking our self too seriously. And there's the nut. The source of all our woes. When self takes self seriously at all, it takes itself too seriously.
Some years ago a friend asked her spiritual director how she, Gertrude, could be certain sure that she would be protected in a possibly perilous situation. Her director replied, "My dear, there is no Gertrude to protect." When I heard that, my little universe expanded for I knew it to be true.
That's where I go today (sometimes p.d.q., sometimes not so much) whenever the smallest "worriet" casts a shadow in my mind. There is no me to protect...there is only God.
Love and laugh...pass it on.
Thank you.
Whatever comes to us on foot or in fantasy, looking ugly or looking good, love it by welcoming it...resist not. When, not if, we find our self resisting...laugh. Laugh at our self not for resisting but for taking our self too seriously. And there's the nut. The source of all our woes. When self takes self seriously at all, it takes itself too seriously.
Some years ago a friend asked her spiritual director how she, Gertrude, could be certain sure that she would be protected in a possibly perilous situation. Her director replied, "My dear, there is no Gertrude to protect." When I heard that, my little universe expanded for I knew it to be true.
That's where I go today (sometimes p.d.q., sometimes not so much) whenever the smallest "worriet" casts a shadow in my mind. There is no me to protect...there is only God.
Love and laugh...pass it on.
Thank you.
Saturday, February 27, 2016
ON STAYING THE COURSE
I am often reminded that the hardest thing I shall ever be asked to do is to change my mind. And then I smash flat up against the fact that I cannot change my mind all on my own just for the wanting. The wanting sends me to God who sends me back with a reminder to get started and a promise that he'll work through me as long as I stay the course.
I learned that through my favorite daily reader. As I often note, I read "God Calling" every morning and have most every day for the past 40 years. When I started reading that little book, I thought it was about God speaking to two little ladies in England. It took a while, I can't remember how long, before I realized it was Jesus talking.
I was less than happy about that. I wanted no truck with Jesus; I'd lived too long in a real fear that God was going to make me a Jesus freak...or a nun, Jesus's bride. Whoa! Still gives me the willies.
But the book was so helpful in lifting me up...out of self into God...that I couldn't just stop reading it. (I probably did for awhile but if so it didn't last...thank you.) My point being, all I had to do was change my mind. I did not realize that until long after the fact, but that was it. I began by asking God to help me not be afraid of Jesus, then I tried to work with him toward that goal. I told myself...a lot...that I did not need to be afraid of Jesus, nor of Billy Graham's version of Jesus...no, not even the Pope's.
Then cosmically a little-known fact about the Sermon on the Mount came to me, a fact that was personal to me. That changed my mind. Still it took several years before I got comfortable with my understanding of Jesus which, admittedly, doesn't match everybody's. My great blessing is I know it doesn't have to.
God answered my prayer...I stayed the course.
Thank you.
I learned that through my favorite daily reader. As I often note, I read "God Calling" every morning and have most every day for the past 40 years. When I started reading that little book, I thought it was about God speaking to two little ladies in England. It took a while, I can't remember how long, before I realized it was Jesus talking.
I was less than happy about that. I wanted no truck with Jesus; I'd lived too long in a real fear that God was going to make me a Jesus freak...or a nun, Jesus's bride. Whoa! Still gives me the willies.
But the book was so helpful in lifting me up...out of self into God...that I couldn't just stop reading it. (I probably did for awhile but if so it didn't last...thank you.) My point being, all I had to do was change my mind. I did not realize that until long after the fact, but that was it. I began by asking God to help me not be afraid of Jesus, then I tried to work with him toward that goal. I told myself...a lot...that I did not need to be afraid of Jesus, nor of Billy Graham's version of Jesus...no, not even the Pope's.
Then cosmically a little-known fact about the Sermon on the Mount came to me, a fact that was personal to me. That changed my mind. Still it took several years before I got comfortable with my understanding of Jesus which, admittedly, doesn't match everybody's. My great blessing is I know it doesn't have to.
God answered my prayer...I stayed the course.
Thank you.
Friday, February 26, 2016
ALIGNING OUR WILL WITH GOD'S WILL
[The following is a reprint of my blog of February 27, 2012 .]
Nothing has more strength than dire necessity. — Euripides
That pretty much describes how needs are met. “The Father knows our needs,” does not mean that the Father will either gift us with our need fulfilled or make our need disappear. No. He gives us strength we know naught of to do what needs doing.
Wants, on the other hand, are pretty much dependent on our willingness to do other than beg God for a freebie. In general, God isn’t going to do for us what we can do for our self. Plus, there are a lot of wants that God isn’t about to touch and neither should we, but that seldom stops us, does it?
There…that’s an excellent reason for aligning our will with God’s will.
Thank you.
Nothing has more strength than dire necessity. — Euripides
That pretty much describes how needs are met. “The Father knows our needs,” does not mean that the Father will either gift us with our need fulfilled or make our need disappear. No. He gives us strength we know naught of to do what needs doing.
Wants, on the other hand, are pretty much dependent on our willingness to do other than beg God for a freebie. In general, God isn’t going to do for us what we can do for our self. Plus, there are a lot of wants that God isn’t about to touch and neither should we, but that seldom stops us, does it?
There…that’s an excellent reason for aligning our will with God’s will.
Thank you.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
ON LOOSING OUR REASONING MIND FOR LOVE
A hard lesson a-learning is the one where we take responsibility for our self...for our past, as it were...our hurts, our misunderstandings, our "faulty parenting," our "harmful" church teachings, our ignorant doctors...each and all of the "not my faults." They may not be our fault but they are our responsibility because we have invited them to live in our head...plain and simple.
We take responsibility by...accepting responsibility. By coming to believe that our freedom is contingent neither on being right nor in proving anyone wrong; that we are only wrong in continuing to hold onto that fallacy.
The harder lesson comes in learning that that first hard lesson is essential but really just a small part of life's learnings. The bigger part continues for the rest of our natural life. That is the acceptance of the fact that we alone are utterly powerless to fix our self, that there is a power greater than our self who can and will if we will seek his way and will...and trust it to be.
Humans are rarely able to accept that our peace of mind comes by loosing our mind. By going beyond that reasoning mind to Love.
Thank you.
We take responsibility by...accepting responsibility. By coming to believe that our freedom is contingent neither on being right nor in proving anyone wrong; that we are only wrong in continuing to hold onto that fallacy.
The harder lesson comes in learning that that first hard lesson is essential but really just a small part of life's learnings. The bigger part continues for the rest of our natural life. That is the acceptance of the fact that we alone are utterly powerless to fix our self, that there is a power greater than our self who can and will if we will seek his way and will...and trust it to be.
Humans are rarely able to accept that our peace of mind comes by loosing our mind. By going beyond that reasoning mind to Love.
Thank you.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
BEWARE OUR EGO'S HIDEY HOLES
Being a mule for other people's anger is a hidey hole for our ego. We assume (a red flag always) that we're being supportive when, in fact, we're on an ego trip.
For instance, someone close to us is dealt dirt and we feel for them. Being supportive is asking what can we do to help...with the unspoken but always underlying question being, "What can I do to help you get over your mad (i.e., yourself) ?"
Being a mule for the other's anger is our ego taking on the dirty deal as our own...feeling the other's "justified" anger and inserting our self into the problem with snarks and snubs. Usually making a new enemy and not helping our friend.
For instance, someone close to us is dealt dirt and we feel for them. Being supportive is asking what can we do to help...with the unspoken but always underlying question being, "What can I do to help you get over your mad (i.e., yourself) ?"
Being a mule for the other's anger is our ego taking on the dirty deal as our own...feeling the other's "justified" anger and inserting our self into the problem with snarks and snubs. Usually making a new enemy and not helping our friend.
Our ego is doing our thinking for us when we allow ourselves to believe any unkind behavior is acceptable to God...love your enemy as yourself precludes unkind behavior, end of discussion.
Those who rely on the letter of the law over grace, the "overly scrupulous" that The Cloud of Unknowing warns about, seem to struggle with this. They tend to live with an eye toward finding an offender to correct rather than a person to love. Too often they become rigid, righteous and right...and avoided.
This is scrupulosity, and there is no God there, for that which we are holding so dear, so rigidly, becomes our God.
Loose it and let it go.
Thank you.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
THE COSMIC HOOK...AND RELEASE
According to me, hugs are our best spiritual metaphor for how God operates in our life.
My long-ago blinding flash of the obvious came when I realized that we cannot get a hug, we can only give a hug. It is in the giving that we get. Move that to understanding...and on to forgiveness...and then on to the biggie, Love. We cannot get them, we can only give them, and in the giving, we become understanding, forgiving...love itself, actually.
That's why we are visited with self-centered jerks who won't let us in on the Beltway, who hog the sidewalk, who get in the "Ten Or Fewer" grocery line (with eleven or more items for Pete's sake). We need them...not want, need...else we might never realize we have reason to use our store of patience, understanding, love.
Love is, and ever has been, within us, just sitting there along with all the other goodies, waiting to be used...to be released if, as and when we choose to loose them and let them go. As we trudge along our life's road, patiently giving hugs, understanding, forgiveness, love, we are love. And loved.
The cosmic hook is if we do not give our hugs, understanding, forgiveness, love, we are still loved whether we know it or not.
The cosmic release is we can only know it by showing it.
Thank you.
My long-ago blinding flash of the obvious came when I realized that we cannot get a hug, we can only give a hug. It is in the giving that we get. Move that to understanding...and on to forgiveness...and then on to the biggie, Love. We cannot get them, we can only give them, and in the giving, we become understanding, forgiving...love itself, actually.
That's why we are visited with self-centered jerks who won't let us in on the Beltway, who hog the sidewalk, who get in the "Ten Or Fewer" grocery line (with eleven or more items for Pete's sake). We need them...not want, need...else we might never realize we have reason to use our store of patience, understanding, love.
Love is, and ever has been, within us, just sitting there along with all the other goodies, waiting to be used...to be released if, as and when we choose to loose them and let them go. As we trudge along our life's road, patiently giving hugs, understanding, forgiveness, love, we are love. And loved.
The cosmic hook is if we do not give our hugs, understanding, forgiveness, love, we are still loved whether we know it or not.
The cosmic release is we can only know it by showing it.
Thank you.
Monday, February 22, 2016
EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO TO HEAVEN....
[The following is a reprint of my blog of January 29, 2011.]
"Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, Nobody Wants to Die." - Old Gospel Song, Author Unknown
“There is an illusion to be removed - that happiness can be without suffering, that well-being can be without ill-being, that right can be without left.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Going Home - Jesus and Buddha As Brothers
“To be truly secure, we must begin to find a source of security within ourselves.” Eknath Easwaran, Words to Live By, Inspiration for Every Day (January 29)
“Your very extremity will ensure My activity for you.” God Calling (January 29)
I am fascinated by my continuing desire, when I hit a rough place in my road, to either castigate myself for hitting a rough place or to quick shoot a prayer to Santy-God to get me out of it…when I know full well, from my own personal experience, that “this, too, shall pass.”
I know that there is no Santy-God out there, that this rough place/difficult person is my angel, here by my own invitation, to help me shuck my shields, i.e., detach from my reasoning mind solutions,…to realize, yet again, that it does rain on the just and the unjust alike, and I am getting my rain at the exactly right time in the exactly right place and amount.
My own Rainmaker within is right on time…doing what It does for my own personal, spiritual growth.
Thank you.
"Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, Nobody Wants to Die." - Old Gospel Song, Author Unknown
“There is an illusion to be removed - that happiness can be without suffering, that well-being can be without ill-being, that right can be without left.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Going Home - Jesus and Buddha As Brothers
“To be truly secure, we must begin to find a source of security within ourselves.” Eknath Easwaran, Words to Live By, Inspiration for Every Day (January 29)
“Your very extremity will ensure My activity for you.” God Calling (January 29)
I am fascinated by my continuing desire, when I hit a rough place in my road, to either castigate myself for hitting a rough place or to quick shoot a prayer to Santy-God to get me out of it…when I know full well, from my own personal experience, that “this, too, shall pass.”
I know that there is no Santy-God out there, that this rough place/difficult person is my angel, here by my own invitation, to help me shuck my shields, i.e., detach from my reasoning mind solutions,…to realize, yet again, that it does rain on the just and the unjust alike, and I am getting my rain at the exactly right time in the exactly right place and amount.
My own Rainmaker within is right on time…doing what It does for my own personal, spiritual growth.
Thank you.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
THROW IN WITH GOD...SET OUR SELF FREE
There is only one thing you need do when you awake in the morning...stay calm. -- Anonymous
Isn't that wonderful? That was said jokingly, but in fact that idea is good, solid and unchanging for every second of our day. To stay calm is to trust that all is as it should be right this very minute. The way to begin to trust is to stay calm.
Resist not.
This may well be the very spot where we learn that we are the source of all our woes. The length of time we stay with all our woes is determined by how long it takes us to realize we are incapable of nonresistance all on our own. Of staying calm in the face of any disagreeable thing. That we must turn to a power greater than our self.
The answer is, was, ever shall be...away from the disagreeable (self) toward the agreeable (God). So simple. So hard. I suspect it's so hard because there is no razzmatazz in God...ego is all about razzle-dazzle, elevated blood pressure, havoc...God is calm.
When we learn that all we need do is make a decision...a decision to throw in with God heart, soul, body and brains...we lose our ego. We set our self free.
Thank you.
Isn't that wonderful? That was said jokingly, but in fact that idea is good, solid and unchanging for every second of our day. To stay calm is to trust that all is as it should be right this very minute. The way to begin to trust is to stay calm.
Resist not.
This may well be the very spot where we learn that we are the source of all our woes. The length of time we stay with all our woes is determined by how long it takes us to realize we are incapable of nonresistance all on our own. Of staying calm in the face of any disagreeable thing. That we must turn to a power greater than our self.
The answer is, was, ever shall be...away from the disagreeable (self) toward the agreeable (God). So simple. So hard. I suspect it's so hard because there is no razzmatazz in God...ego is all about razzle-dazzle, elevated blood pressure, havoc...God is calm.
When we learn that all we need do is make a decision...a decision to throw in with God heart, soul, body and brains...we lose our ego. We set our self free.
Thank you.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
ACCEPTANCE...AN ACT OF GRACE
[The following is a reworked reprint of my blog of February 19, 2012.]
If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it. — Fr. Richard Rohr
To me, the rest of that thought is: in your search for someone out there to blame.
“If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it in your search for someone out there to blame.”
There is no one to blame, not even yourself. There is no one to blame for anything, no reason to shame anyone. You are, however, responsible for your pain…no matter who or what the apparent cause.
Old adage: Misery is optional. I maintain misery is not optional, but staying miserable is.
It is through surrender that pain is transformed…and then becomes the instrument through which you can be of benefit to others.
All pain is beneficial to you when you learn to take responsibility for it…and the instant you think, “Yes, but…,” you’re going down that wrong road again.
There are two truths about pain…1) all transformed pain is beneficial; and 2) finding someone to blame nurtures, grows, your pain.
Another truth: Acceptance, like forgiveness, cannot be received through an act of will…it can only come through the grace of God.
Thank you.
If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it. — Fr. Richard Rohr
To me, the rest of that thought is: in your search for someone out there to blame.
“If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it in your search for someone out there to blame.”
There is no one to blame, not even yourself. There is no one to blame for anything, no reason to shame anyone. You are, however, responsible for your pain…no matter who or what the apparent cause.
Old adage: Misery is optional. I maintain misery is not optional, but staying miserable is.
It is through surrender that pain is transformed…and then becomes the instrument through which you can be of benefit to others.
All pain is beneficial to you when you learn to take responsibility for it…and the instant you think, “Yes, but…,” you’re going down that wrong road again.
There are two truths about pain…1) all transformed pain is beneficial; and 2) finding someone to blame nurtures, grows, your pain.
Another truth: Acceptance, like forgiveness, cannot be received through an act of will…it can only come through the grace of God.
Thank you.
Friday, February 19, 2016
A MIND FILLED WITH GRATITUDE
Most of us say we want peace...peace of mind, specifically. There is nothing simpler to have...not to get but to have. The getting is hard because that's what determines whether we truly want to have peace of mind.
The reason why getting peace of mind is so hard is that it requires that we surrender. Not being entirely stupid, we're very well aware that surrender is code for..."You lose." Plain and simple. Never in this world or the next is ego going to welcome being a loser...for you, yes, for me, no.
That's the push-pull of living in a reasoning mind world with still more spiritual growth as our goal...our goal from the eyebrows up at any rate. Moving that goal from our head down to our heart and finally to our Soul...there's the journey. There's where we meet up with the Lord.
The reasoning mind is pretty much married to black/white. I am fascinated by the opaque-ness of black versus the transparency of white. Picture it: A white fence, pristine and gleaming. We walk up with our bucket of black paint and a paint brush...no more white fence, barely a memory of it left behind. It will take buckets and gallons and oceans of white paint to remove that black paint, and there will always be a shadow of grey left in spots.
There. To me, that white fence represents a mind filled with gratitude, of grace-born love and laughter. It takes just one fear-for-me want, one self-determined objective, to lose the gratitude, to forget love and laughter...to have our own self-perpetuating fears riding our bus free of charge.
It takes a long, long time, to throw that sucker off the bus...and there will always be that shadow of self left in spots.
So, according to me, to get peace of mind, we must make a conscious decision to trust God (and welcome being thought a loser). To have peace of mind is to live that decision...through love and laughter.
Thank you.
The reason why getting peace of mind is so hard is that it requires that we surrender. Not being entirely stupid, we're very well aware that surrender is code for..."You lose." Plain and simple. Never in this world or the next is ego going to welcome being a loser...for you, yes, for me, no.
That's the push-pull of living in a reasoning mind world with still more spiritual growth as our goal...our goal from the eyebrows up at any rate. Moving that goal from our head down to our heart and finally to our Soul...there's the journey. There's where we meet up with the Lord.
The reasoning mind is pretty much married to black/white. I am fascinated by the opaque-ness of black versus the transparency of white. Picture it: A white fence, pristine and gleaming. We walk up with our bucket of black paint and a paint brush...no more white fence, barely a memory of it left behind. It will take buckets and gallons and oceans of white paint to remove that black paint, and there will always be a shadow of grey left in spots.
There. To me, that white fence represents a mind filled with gratitude, of grace-born love and laughter. It takes just one fear-for-me want, one self-determined objective, to lose the gratitude, to forget love and laughter...to have our own self-perpetuating fears riding our bus free of charge.
It takes a long, long time, to throw that sucker off the bus...and there will always be that shadow of self left in spots.
So, according to me, to get peace of mind, we must make a conscious decision to trust God (and welcome being thought a loser). To have peace of mind is to live that decision...through love and laughter.
Thank you.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
MY DREAM...REVISITED
[The following is a reprint of my blog of October 14, 2008.]
I dreamed recently of my grandparents’ home in Kentucky. I had gone to visit but they were not home. It seems that I stayed for a very long time.
The house had everything except an indoor bathroom. There was, however, an outhouse way back of the house. I made it my job to put it in pristine condition…I white-washed it, I put fresh lye down every day or so, I tatted little lace curtains to cover the hole in the door. It wanted for nothing.
One day my grandparents returned, and my grandmother asked how I liked their beautiful bathroom…with which, she opened a door I had not noticed. There was a spectacular modern bath. She said it had “always” been there that I just hadn’t looked for it.
When I awoke, I thought about my dream, and I realized it was all about my Father within. My God who is ever with me, never needing anything to be added unto Him.
I get so caught up in looking “out there,” in search of the perfect Something, person, book, talisman, to change me, make me more, better, different…maybe simply acceptable. Landing on first this, then that…like my pretty outhouse, façade is everything…make it prettier, more admirable…uh-oh, not right, not good enough, start again.
All I need do is look right here, right where I Am…go into the silence and give over to the God of my understanding who is already here, here in my heart, my Soul.
Thank you.
I dreamed recently of my grandparents’ home in Kentucky. I had gone to visit but they were not home. It seems that I stayed for a very long time.
The house had everything except an indoor bathroom. There was, however, an outhouse way back of the house. I made it my job to put it in pristine condition…I white-washed it, I put fresh lye down every day or so, I tatted little lace curtains to cover the hole in the door. It wanted for nothing.
One day my grandparents returned, and my grandmother asked how I liked their beautiful bathroom…with which, she opened a door I had not noticed. There was a spectacular modern bath. She said it had “always” been there that I just hadn’t looked for it.
When I awoke, I thought about my dream, and I realized it was all about my Father within. My God who is ever with me, never needing anything to be added unto Him.
I get so caught up in looking “out there,” in search of the perfect Something, person, book, talisman, to change me, make me more, better, different…maybe simply acceptable. Landing on first this, then that…like my pretty outhouse, façade is everything…make it prettier, more admirable…uh-oh, not right, not good enough, start again.
All I need do is look right here, right where I Am…go into the silence and give over to the God of my understanding who is already here, here in my heart, my Soul.
Thank you.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
OUR REMORSES, OUR BLESSINGS
Whoever is willing to serenely bear the trial of being displeasing to herself, that person is a pleasant place of shelter for Jesus. -- St. Thérèse of Lisieux
I love this quote. I love it because my first reaction was incredulity...as in, No Way. Then I became willing to change my mind because I'm not entirely stupid. I've never heard of St. Thérèse of Lisieux but if she's being quoted by learned people, she's worth giving an ear to.
So I ponder it, and it comes that to serenely bear the trial of being displeasing to oneself means to be at peace with our rues, regrets and remorses. We learn early on that we need to make peace with our regrets rather than resist them by trying to forget or justify or blame. All of which is trying to make them not have happened...which, regrettably, nurtures them.
My blinding flash of the obvious: This is the opening of the door...the realization of our remorses as a place of shelter for God, i.e., God's home within.
My further blinding flash of the obvious: What St. Thérèse said is akin to what the Indians (Navajo?) reportedly did as they wove their blankets: They consciously wove a mistake in each blanket as a place for God to enter.
God loves us so much.
Thank you.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
LOWERING MY HIGH STANDARDS FOR YOU
[The following is a reprint (reworked) of my blog of August 19, 2011.]
I have a set of suggestions, practical and spiritual in nature, that I try to follow. One is, "When wrong promptly admit it." I particularly love, and lean on, the word "when." Not if. When. To me, that is simply God's word that failures will happen to and for everybody. The entire population of the entire universe is going to experience failure.
I have a set of suggestions, practical and spiritual in nature, that I try to follow. One is, "When wrong promptly admit it." I particularly love, and lean on, the word "when." Not if. When. To me, that is simply God's word that failures will happen to and for everybody. The entire population of the entire universe is going to experience failure.
I personally don’t think a whole lot about the entire population but I am intensely aware of your failure, particularly when it impacts me. I am sometimes amazed at how high my standards are for you. And again I realize that freedom from self is simply letting you off the hook when I choose to believe that you have failed me.
I am reminded of a situation a couple of years ago. I had a big celebration coming up which was to take place four weeks before my knee replacement surgery. I needed a haircut and decided to get a light trim to look my best for my celebration, and then right before surgery, I'd get a shorter than usual haircut to last through my recuperation period.
I am reminded of a situation a couple of years ago. I had a big celebration coming up which was to take place four weeks before my knee replacement surgery. I needed a haircut and decided to get a light trim to look my best for my celebration, and then right before surgery, I'd get a shorter than usual haircut to last through my recuperation period.
Great plan, but my I-hate-a-hassle-what’s-most-convenient thinking stepped in and made a crucial decision for me. Rather than get my light trim from my really great beautician, who is a half-hour drive away, I went to the closest salon (five minutes)…which I knew from personal experience to be a tish sloppy in their haircutting.
I walked out of that closest salon with a haircut that would qualify for boot camp at Parris Island…a bad haircut at Parris Island.
Here's the amazing news...I was able to let the beautician off the hook and be satisfied (really!) by saying to my friends (who looked aghast upon seeing The Haircut) that she misunderstood and gave me my pre-surgery haircut.
I felt utterly free by saying that...plus each of my friends got a cheap shot of gratitude that it wasn't their haircut. I knew without a doubt, if I chose my poor, pitiful, put-upon-me rant, I would feel the victim all through my celebration and even longer. Victim leaves neither quietly nor quickly.
The punchline: I got to laugh every time I looked in the mirror...admittedly, I didn't look in the mirror a lot.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Monday, February 15, 2016
ON THE WINGS OF A SNOW-WHITE DOVE
The overly guarded and self-protected person is scratched and dented by all 'the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,' whereas the malleable, bendable, flexible, woundable person is almost indestructible. Their wounds are always allowed to be their teachers instead of their defeat. - Fr. Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation," February 15, 2016.
There it is..."the malleable, bendable, flexible, woundable person is almost indestructible." That is the promise of nonresistance and the perfect definition of the nonresistant person, according to me.
Just yesterday I was talking on the phone with my best bud from high school. She was remembering something I had done that had peeved her back then, and she was working up to a real "How could you have?" attitude.
As she talked, I remembered the situation...and my memory was very close to hers. Meaning, I had no excuses. So I said to her, "Shame on me. I really regret I put you through that."
With which, she laughed and said that actually it's pretty funny, looking back at it, and how she coulda, shoulda, woulda. We did a little dance on the head of a pin, each letting the other off the hook.
I thought as I went to bed last night how grateful I am that I've learned the beauty of nonresistance...both how to be and why. Without that as a spiritual tool, and just a tish of wiggle room, I would have justified or magnified my thoughtless behavior and made her less-than-wonderful memory a present regret for both of us.
Maybe nonresistance is forgiveness on the wing.
Thank you.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
SO TRUST
You do not realize that you would have broken down under the weight of your cares but for the renewing time with Me. It is not what I say, it is I, Myself. It is not the hearing Me so much as the being in My Presence. The strengthening and curative powers of this you cannot know. Such knowledge is beyond your human reckoning. -- "God Calling," February 14
Hope must be the most transitory of all our gifts, I'm thinking. I read the above paragraph this morning and felt such hope...hope that that is true!...and realized that that's pretty much what I feel every year when I read it. And every year I ponder it and realize its truth.
Reading "It is not the hearing Me so much as the being in My Presence," always sends a thrill to my innards. I realize like its news again that the best thing I do each day is simply make myself available to the God of my understanding.
In truth, sometimes I get a blinding flash of the obvious, sometimes I just rehash my latest pet peeve...catch myself and bring my thoughts back to him with my "thank you."
Pondering this, I see that it may not be hope, it may be relief that I feel! For I think again of my morning time with God. I see me with my thoughts haring off after Gertrude and his latest folly, and my reining those thoughts in and bringing them back to "thank you," and feeling a little glow for remembering. There. That is the proof that just "being in My presence" is enough.
God is always on the job whether we know it or not.
Thank you.
Hope must be the most transitory of all our gifts, I'm thinking. I read the above paragraph this morning and felt such hope...hope that that is true!...and realized that that's pretty much what I feel every year when I read it. And every year I ponder it and realize its truth.
Reading "It is not the hearing Me so much as the being in My Presence," always sends a thrill to my innards. I realize like its news again that the best thing I do each day is simply make myself available to the God of my understanding.
In truth, sometimes I get a blinding flash of the obvious, sometimes I just rehash my latest pet peeve...catch myself and bring my thoughts back to him with my "thank you."
Pondering this, I see that it may not be hope, it may be relief that I feel! For I think again of my morning time with God. I see me with my thoughts haring off after Gertrude and his latest folly, and my reining those thoughts in and bringing them back to "thank you," and feeling a little glow for remembering. There. That is the proof that just "being in My presence" is enough.
God is always on the job whether we know it or not.
Thank you.
Saturday, February 13, 2016
THE PROBLEM IS SELF...THE SOLUTION IS GOD
Many of us want to get out of the pain of self and believe the way there is by overindulging...eating, smoking, drinking, doping, video games, etc., et al. We then try our very hardest to stop that. Quit it already!
Well, if we could have, we would have...a long time ago. I'm convinced our problem is not that we can't stop (which is a problem), it is that we refuse to accept that it is impossible for us to get out of self by our self, by our own thinking, feeling, doing, being. Never happen...not with a pound of Godiva or a fifth of Grey Goose or a carton of Camels or a toke or a tantrum.
We're missing the gut-bucket base problem...the problem IS self. If we ever expect to get out of self for even a minute or two, we must needs go to a higher power, a power not of our self, not of our thinking, not even or our complete understanding.
It has been said, and I do believe, if we think we completely understand God, we're going in the wrong direction. Understanding God may be akin to Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's remark about hard-core pornography: "It's hard to define, but I know it when I see it." God is impossible to define, but we know It when we feel It...our heart, our Soul, our very bones know and flow with that knowing.
And once we know, we can never forget...it's trying to remember that trips us up.
Thank you.
Well, if we could have, we would have...a long time ago. I'm convinced our problem is not that we can't stop (which is a problem), it is that we refuse to accept that it is impossible for us to get out of self by our self, by our own thinking, feeling, doing, being. Never happen...not with a pound of Godiva or a fifth of Grey Goose or a carton of Camels or a toke or a tantrum.
We're missing the gut-bucket base problem...the problem IS self. If we ever expect to get out of self for even a minute or two, we must needs go to a higher power, a power not of our self, not of our thinking, not even or our complete understanding.
It has been said, and I do believe, if we think we completely understand God, we're going in the wrong direction. Understanding God may be akin to Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's remark about hard-core pornography: "It's hard to define, but I know it when I see it." God is impossible to define, but we know It when we feel It...our heart, our Soul, our very bones know and flow with that knowing.
And once we know, we can never forget...it's trying to remember that trips us up.
Thank you.
Friday, February 12, 2016
KNOWING WHEN TO MOVE ON
Maturity is knowing when to move on.
A very wise woman said that to me many years ago. I was in a job I detested, but...it paid really well, it had a very fancy title, it had terrific bennies. My reasoning mind, however, could not get over the facts: I was unmarried, I lived alone, I'd be a fool to let this prize job go just because I detested it.
Long/short, I did let it go...walked out and, with no job lined up, no new money coming in, I went on my first spiritual retreat. A week-long retreat in Erlanger, Kentucky, and my life changed. I did move on in an entirely new direction on a path I had never walked before. I knew, and I knew I knew, I had more than "job security." I had what can only be described as akin to I have meat to eat ye know not of.
I'm reminded of that "knowing when to move on" when I'm stuck in self...judging (myself or others), overthinking, overeating. My maturity reminder came to me recently as I was sinking into the irresistible muck and mire of politics. Hoo-boy! I was just rocking and rolling in the delicious hopelessness of righteous rage.
God just laughed and laughed...and sent me a blinding flash of the obvious: Maturity is knowing when to move on.
Thank you.
A very wise woman said that to me many years ago. I was in a job I detested, but...it paid really well, it had a very fancy title, it had terrific bennies. My reasoning mind, however, could not get over the facts: I was unmarried, I lived alone, I'd be a fool to let this prize job go just because I detested it.
Long/short, I did let it go...walked out and, with no job lined up, no new money coming in, I went on my first spiritual retreat. A week-long retreat in Erlanger, Kentucky, and my life changed. I did move on in an entirely new direction on a path I had never walked before. I knew, and I knew I knew, I had more than "job security." I had what can only be described as akin to I have meat to eat ye know not of.
I'm reminded of that "knowing when to move on" when I'm stuck in self...judging (myself or others), overthinking, overeating. My maturity reminder came to me recently as I was sinking into the irresistible muck and mire of politics. Hoo-boy! I was just rocking and rolling in the delicious hopelessness of righteous rage.
God just laughed and laughed...and sent me a blinding flash of the obvious: Maturity is knowing when to move on.
Thank you.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
ON RELYING ON OUR SPIRITUAL STRENGTH
Wait. I will not overtry your spiritual strength.... - "God Calling," February 11
There it is. The answer to life's problems is in that word "spiritual." The reason why, when the road gets rough, so many of us strain our brain trying to think of how to fix it, and exactly right, is that we forget entirely that we must needs turn to our spiritual strength. Our strength is in the Lord, not our brain.
Equally important is the word "wait." The instruction isn't "wait a minute," it is "wait." The reasoning mind will always want to know "for how long?" The spiritual answer is: "Until your Soul contacts your brain. And while you wait, help a neighbor or clean out your closet or walk the dog. Wait."
In this morning's Easwaran, it notes, "The way we respond to small matters reflects the way we will respond to the larger matters of life." And, to paraphrase Fr. Richard Rohr, how we react to anything is how we react to everything. (I particularly note the similarities because that's how spiritual truths make a home in my head and heart, by finding the same message in many different authors, be it the 14th century monk who wrote "The Cloud of Unknowing," or Fr. Richard Rohr today.)
Therefore, we start the process of change within our self by noting the little bumps in the road, the teeny-weeny bugging behavior of our spouse, our friend, and immediately turning to God with a "thank you." Then we build on that...we build by continuing, forgetting half the time, but picking it up when we remember.
When the day comes that a really humongous sinkhole appears in our life's road, and it will if we're doing it right, we will have disciplined ourselves enough to turn our thoughts immediately to God. Most likely we will feel fear, half panicked actually, but we will be able to trust in the face of that.
That's how we open ourselves to God's perfect outworking in us and through us. We build trust, faith in the Father within. He can and will carry us through.
Thank you.
There it is. The answer to life's problems is in that word "spiritual." The reason why, when the road gets rough, so many of us strain our brain trying to think of how to fix it, and exactly right, is that we forget entirely that we must needs turn to our spiritual strength. Our strength is in the Lord, not our brain.
Equally important is the word "wait." The instruction isn't "wait a minute," it is "wait." The reasoning mind will always want to know "for how long?" The spiritual answer is: "Until your Soul contacts your brain. And while you wait, help a neighbor or clean out your closet or walk the dog. Wait."
In this morning's Easwaran, it notes, "The way we respond to small matters reflects the way we will respond to the larger matters of life." And, to paraphrase Fr. Richard Rohr, how we react to anything is how we react to everything. (I particularly note the similarities because that's how spiritual truths make a home in my head and heart, by finding the same message in many different authors, be it the 14th century monk who wrote "The Cloud of Unknowing," or Fr. Richard Rohr today.)
Therefore, we start the process of change within our self by noting the little bumps in the road, the teeny-weeny bugging behavior of our spouse, our friend, and immediately turning to God with a "thank you." Then we build on that...we build by continuing, forgetting half the time, but picking it up when we remember.
When the day comes that a really humongous sinkhole appears in our life's road, and it will if we're doing it right, we will have disciplined ourselves enough to turn our thoughts immediately to God. Most likely we will feel fear, half panicked actually, but we will be able to trust in the face of that.
That's how we open ourselves to God's perfect outworking in us and through us. We build trust, faith in the Father within. He can and will carry us through.
Thank you.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
ON BEING TOTALLY FREE
[The following is a reprint, reworked, of my blog of February 10, 2010.]
Fr. Richard Rohr has written, If there is nothing in your life to cry about, if there is nothing in your life to complain about, if there is nothing in your life to yell about, you must be out of touch. We must all feel and know the pain of humanity. The free space that God leads us into is to feel the full spectrum, from great exaltation and joy, to the pain of mourning and dying and suffering….The totally free person is one who can feel all of it and not be afraid of any of it.
That speaks to my soul.
I never thought I could be a totally free person…I never thought anybody could be a totally free person, now that I consider it. But it is possible, and I know this to be true partly because I’ve learned the art of ”thank you.”
This certainly isn't absolute, but in general whenever my thoughts start to ask God for this or that...health, wealth, wisdom, chocolate…I consciously turn my mind to “thank you for everything in my life just as it is right this very minute.” At which point I do not feel totally free or cosmically lifted in truth, but that does start my thoughts on a different path which is the best way in the world to forget whatever I was hankering for.
It may not be that “thank you” is cosmic, it may just be that age and interruptions are great aids in forgetting. Whatever, it works, and I'm grateful...gratitude being God's breath in my life.
Fr. Richard Rohr has written, If there is nothing in your life to cry about, if there is nothing in your life to complain about, if there is nothing in your life to yell about, you must be out of touch. We must all feel and know the pain of humanity. The free space that God leads us into is to feel the full spectrum, from great exaltation and joy, to the pain of mourning and dying and suffering….The totally free person is one who can feel all of it and not be afraid of any of it.
That speaks to my soul.
I never thought I could be a totally free person…I never thought anybody could be a totally free person, now that I consider it. But it is possible, and I know this to be true partly because I’ve learned the art of ”thank you.”
This certainly isn't absolute, but in general whenever my thoughts start to ask God for this or that...health, wealth, wisdom, chocolate…I consciously turn my mind to “thank you for everything in my life just as it is right this very minute.” At which point I do not feel totally free or cosmically lifted in truth, but that does start my thoughts on a different path which is the best way in the world to forget whatever I was hankering for.
It may not be that “thank you” is cosmic, it may just be that age and interruptions are great aids in forgetting. Whatever, it works, and I'm grateful...gratitude being God's breath in my life.
Thank you.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE PATH
...to mix with the world and to find God amidst its pain, confusion, and disorder. -- Fr. Richard Rohr
I read that this morning and flashed that to give oneself permission to do exactly that...to mix with the world and to find God amidst its pain, confusion, and disorder...is to know self (and Self) acceptance.
I read that this morning and flashed that to give oneself permission to do exactly that...to mix with the world and to find God amidst its pain, confusion, and disorder...is to know self (and Self) acceptance.
It occurs to me that may be the reason so many of us lack self acceptance. We assume if we're in pain, confusion and disorder, we must be doing it wrong, or we're not good enough, well enough, bright enough...enough period.
What if that is the place we must needs be to find God? Who looks for God on the first day of summer vacation? We're looking for fun in the sun, not for any of that heavy stuff. Or when we're out amongst 'em, boppin' and shoppin'. Who's looking for God then? Truth be told, we're half afraid he's going to show up and ruin the day.
The saddest is the one who has searched for God for years and still cannot accept that "great pain and great love" is the right path to him. The minute s/he feels "pain, confusion or disorder," an alternative source for peace is sought. Usually including someone to blame.
To be in the world but not of it is to be free of the fear of pain, confusion and disorder. They'll still come...if we're doing it right...but we no longer live in fear of their coming.
Thank you.
To be in the world but not of it is to be free of the fear of pain, confusion and disorder. They'll still come...if we're doing it right...but we no longer live in fear of their coming.
Thank you.
Monday, February 8, 2016
GOD AND HIS WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR
It came to me once that nothing is original...not to me, not to anybody. Since Adam had his first thought and Eve her first word, nothing has been original to us.
It is, however, how we say our unoriginal words that make them our own...how the words are filtered through our own personality that gives them their individual meaning. To repeat as our own the clever quips of Jon Stewart does not make us a wit...and they never sound as funny falling from our lips as they did coming from his anyway.
There is a spiritual equivalence here that is important to me. My Easwaran daily reader today has a quote by a person I've never heard of, Louis-Claude de Saint-Martin: "All mystics speak the same language, for they come from the same country."
There. That explains how all my spiritual readings have the same message albeit from many different authors. I used to go to a Unity bookstore, and I learned to trust that the book I needed to read would select me. I never had to ponder which one to choose...my hand would reach, and the right book would be there. Which is how I found Eknath Easwaran, of whom I had never heard. His Original Goodness chose me in 1990, and I've read his books ever since, some more than once.
That also explains why fundamentalist teachings miss me. They are not wrong for those they speak to, they just don't air on my channel. My hand has never reached out for one of those books. And I'm sure...vice versa.
That's why live and let live is so important to know, to believe, to live by. That's why there's a choice of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Neither is bad, we just go with the one we personally prefer...or the one that prefers us.
For the intro to this blog which I began in 2007 or 2008, I wrote, "Nothing is original with me...," yet I never, until this morning, realized the Louis-Claude de Saint-Martin quote, which I've skimmed over for years now.
I'm betting I connect this morning because I have a need right now to connect. See, I'm half ticked at someone who lifted a phrase of mine right off my lips then, when I said it again later, she got huffy...for lifting it from her! Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.
Thank you.
It is, however, how we say our unoriginal words that make them our own...how the words are filtered through our own personality that gives them their individual meaning. To repeat as our own the clever quips of Jon Stewart does not make us a wit...and they never sound as funny falling from our lips as they did coming from his anyway.
There is a spiritual equivalence here that is important to me. My Easwaran daily reader today has a quote by a person I've never heard of, Louis-Claude de Saint-Martin: "All mystics speak the same language, for they come from the same country."
There. That explains how all my spiritual readings have the same message albeit from many different authors. I used to go to a Unity bookstore, and I learned to trust that the book I needed to read would select me. I never had to ponder which one to choose...my hand would reach, and the right book would be there. Which is how I found Eknath Easwaran, of whom I had never heard. His Original Goodness chose me in 1990, and I've read his books ever since, some more than once.
That also explains why fundamentalist teachings miss me. They are not wrong for those they speak to, they just don't air on my channel. My hand has never reached out for one of those books. And I'm sure...vice versa.
That's why live and let live is so important to know, to believe, to live by. That's why there's a choice of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Neither is bad, we just go with the one we personally prefer...or the one that prefers us.
For the intro to this blog which I began in 2007 or 2008, I wrote, "Nothing is original with me...," yet I never, until this morning, realized the Louis-Claude de Saint-Martin quote, which I've skimmed over for years now.
I'm betting I connect this morning because I have a need right now to connect. See, I'm half ticked at someone who lifted a phrase of mine right off my lips then, when I said it again later, she got huffy...for lifting it from her! Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.
Thank you.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
GIVE OVER...BE FREE
Liars, thieves, cheats and whores, i.e., the United States Congress, and those who live in a world of poor, pitiful, put-upon and misunderstood me, i.e., the rest of us, live for the negative razzmatazz... that place where no give exists, only get.
All of us...motivated by greed that we call need. Not enough...there is no enough in that world of the negative rush. Each elected person in the Congress "needs" to ensure s/he gets re-elected; the rest of us "need" to ensure that we get ours. All of us living in fear that we won't...get re-elected, get ours.
There is no God in that world...no spirituality, no peace, no love, no joy. And it all comes back to the fact that there is no give there, only get.
I am convinced that as long as we're looking to get...anything...we're stuck in the ego-victory world of me, my, mine. Some say if another is an irritant to us, we should pray that that person gets all the things we desire for our self...be it peace of mind or a million dollars.
Well, that's just another self-determined objective all dressed up. Like as if we can sneak it passed God, and he'll grant our real prayer which is for our own self...to be rid of that irritating jerk. This in the face of any number of specific spiritual directions, such as, agree with your adversary quickly, love your enemy as yourself, etc. Give in a word...give over to another.
I'm guessing a huge percentage of personal prayers could be realized as self-serving and go unprayed if we would do as the spiritual directions already set out for us say.
You only know as much as you do. -- Saint Francis of Assisi
Thank you.
All of us...motivated by greed that we call need. Not enough...there is no enough in that world of the negative rush. Each elected person in the Congress "needs" to ensure s/he gets re-elected; the rest of us "need" to ensure that we get ours. All of us living in fear that we won't...get re-elected, get ours.
There is no God in that world...no spirituality, no peace, no love, no joy. And it all comes back to the fact that there is no give there, only get.
I am convinced that as long as we're looking to get...anything...we're stuck in the ego-victory world of me, my, mine. Some say if another is an irritant to us, we should pray that that person gets all the things we desire for our self...be it peace of mind or a million dollars.
Well, that's just another self-determined objective all dressed up. Like as if we can sneak it passed God, and he'll grant our real prayer which is for our own self...to be rid of that irritating jerk. This in the face of any number of specific spiritual directions, such as, agree with your adversary quickly, love your enemy as yourself, etc. Give in a word...give over to another.
I'm guessing a huge percentage of personal prayers could be realized as self-serving and go unprayed if we would do as the spiritual directions already set out for us say.
You only know as much as you do. -- Saint Francis of Assisi
Thank you.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
ON HEALTHY SELF ESTEEM
It seems too often today, people believe they build healthy self esteem by tearing other people down; i.e., telling her off...chewing him a new one...standing up for our self. "Standing up for myself" means cutting you down. With love, of course. That is not healthy self esteem that is an ego trip.
In some spiritual writings, self is always capitalized when it is referring to God. I use that idea when I catch myself caught up fretting about my own self esteem, or lack thereof. I consciously remind me that it is Self esteem which is within us all, and it is Love...of self and others. There is no need, therefore, to worry about how to get it.
The extension of that reminder is: In order to feel healthy self esteem, we get to express love not hate for another, specifically for the other who is snarking our ego.
We realize that our mental picture of the one who is threatening our ego-victory self esteem needs to change. Instead of obsessively thinking of ways we can get him told...and with an audience...we think of ways we can agree with her without currying her favor. "Currying favor" keeps it in the self determined objective field and self-determined tells it all...wrong road again.
This entire exercise then becomes a conversation with God more or less...pondering ways not to be hateful to her in order to feel good about our self, but ways to feel and express love for both of us. Optimally, without words.
In my life, I have found nothing, or very little, that makes me feel better about myself than extending unexpected love to another. Unexpected because, if it is truly of God, my reasoning mind had naught to do with it. We know we're pleasing God, our self and another human being right then and there. Now that's healthy Self esteem.
Thank you.
Friday, February 5, 2016
LOVE YOUR ENEMY...AND WALK FREE
Surrender of attachment to results brings immediate peace, or so says the "Bhagavad Gita." Actually, that's easy to believe...it's the doing, though, that tells our tale. I'm guessing it's so difficult to do because our results are our wants. Plain and simple. And who has ever had a want that didn't feel like a need in the belly of our beast, i.e., our ego.
There are two sentences that, if we would live them...not repeat them endlessly by rote, but live them...would make our life worry free. The first is, "Thy will, not mine, be done." The other, "This, too, shall pass."
Interestingly, they each have the same uh-oh hook...both leave a lot of worried mind behind. Worried that in the passing and/or in God's will not mine, I might not get mine. Mine being, of course, my result, my want, my ego-victory need.
Learning to be detached from the results of action, as Easwaran puts it, is the necessary path to extinguishing the ego. There. That is what spiritual growth is all about...ego deflation in depth.
I'm convinced that ego deflation in depth begins and ends with putting others first...others primarily being those who give us a royal pain. The Gertrudes of our world. S/He who is an angel in our life, and we resist so mightily.
Love your enemy as yourself. Whoa...maybe there's only one sentence that, if we would live it, would make our life worry free.
Thank you.
There are two sentences that, if we would live them...not repeat them endlessly by rote, but live them...would make our life worry free. The first is, "Thy will, not mine, be done." The other, "This, too, shall pass."
Interestingly, they each have the same uh-oh hook...both leave a lot of worried mind behind. Worried that in the passing and/or in God's will not mine, I might not get mine. Mine being, of course, my result, my want, my ego-victory need.
Learning to be detached from the results of action, as Easwaran puts it, is the necessary path to extinguishing the ego. There. That is what spiritual growth is all about...ego deflation in depth.
I'm convinced that ego deflation in depth begins and ends with putting others first...others primarily being those who give us a royal pain. The Gertrudes of our world. S/He who is an angel in our life, and we resist so mightily.
Love your enemy as yourself. Whoa...maybe there's only one sentence that, if we would live it, would make our life worry free.
Thank you.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
THERE IS NO ABYSS TO FEAR
It's an interesting fact that finding satisfactory evidence that God is in our life, is protecting us, has our back gives us but temporary surcease from our reasoning mind's anxious natterings. Which is counterintuitive but true...for me at any rate.
For example, every year on this date, February 4, I read in my "God Calling" the sentence: You will never cease to be thankful for this time when you felt at peace and trustful, and yet had no human security. I note I have written "1985" out to the side.
This was precisely the time when I was gifted with the care and feeding of the Internal Revenue Service, and I'd just left my job because it was threatening my well-being. So there I was, facing a humongous IRS bill, no job, and I was not panicked. I assumed...and even told my bathroom mirror...that I felt calm because the circumstances were so immense, I couldn't comprehend the whole mix and mess.
Then I read that "you will never cease to be thankful for this time when you felt at peace and trustful and yet had no human security," and I quite literally fell to my knees and thanked God for my everything just exactly as it was right at that very minute.
And I have never ceased to be thankful for that time of peace and trust in the midst of my own personal hoo-boy! Doesn't it seem reasonable then to expect that after that I'd be living in a cloud-free world...never again a fearful thought much less a panic attack? That's why we're warned against expectations, I reckon. For I have had my share of angry thoughts and panicky moments up to here and now.
The gift of grace and spiritual growth is that I have experienced the God of my understanding snatching me back from my own abyss. I experience that grace whenever anxiety leads me over to that abyss and tries to get me to peek over. That's when I remind myself that there is no abyss to fear. There is no me to protect. There is only God. And I know gratitude.
Thank you.
For example, every year on this date, February 4, I read in my "God Calling" the sentence: You will never cease to be thankful for this time when you felt at peace and trustful, and yet had no human security. I note I have written "1985" out to the side.
This was precisely the time when I was gifted with the care and feeding of the Internal Revenue Service, and I'd just left my job because it was threatening my well-being. So there I was, facing a humongous IRS bill, no job, and I was not panicked. I assumed...and even told my bathroom mirror...that I felt calm because the circumstances were so immense, I couldn't comprehend the whole mix and mess.
Then I read that "you will never cease to be thankful for this time when you felt at peace and trustful and yet had no human security," and I quite literally fell to my knees and thanked God for my everything just exactly as it was right at that very minute.
And I have never ceased to be thankful for that time of peace and trust in the midst of my own personal hoo-boy! Doesn't it seem reasonable then to expect that after that I'd be living in a cloud-free world...never again a fearful thought much less a panic attack? That's why we're warned against expectations, I reckon. For I have had my share of angry thoughts and panicky moments up to here and now.
The gift of grace and spiritual growth is that I have experienced the God of my understanding snatching me back from my own abyss. I experience that grace whenever anxiety leads me over to that abyss and tries to get me to peek over. That's when I remind myself that there is no abyss to fear. There is no me to protect. There is only God. And I know gratitude.
Thank you.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
[The following is a reprint of my blog of February 24, 2012.]
What if your worst fear and your greatest hope both came true simultaneously?
Would you realize them both for the same?
What if that is the “kingdom of heaven?”
Would you still seek it first?
Thank you.
Would you realize them both for the same?
What if that is the “kingdom of heaven?”
Would you still seek it first?
Thank you.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
THINK OUTSIDE THE EGO
Getting free of my sister means simply that I free my sister. That's another blinding flash of the obvious that I wrote in my "God Calling"...in 2006 yet. And, I am deeper than deeply grateful that I have freed my sister...she walks free in my mind today.
Now I've got Gertrude. More to the point, now I am resisting Gertrude. Again I am reminded of my mental struggles with my co-worker Nancy in 1986...and for the same reason; namely, she was wrong and I was right. I didn't get free of me until I sincerely thanked God for showing me she was not wrong, and I could be good with that.
The answer is always, always, always the same: short form, get over yourself. Long form, So if someone hurts you and you are sore, you are in the wrong, too.
Here's the gold in these ego struggles...with spiritual growth as our goal, we finally understand that this means we're doing it right. For it's only by coming face-to-face with our inner petty that we comprehend...or get a glimmer...that the real problem is our very own self. We continue the process of acceptance...accepting that humans will ever view life itself first through ego.
We need to remind our self often to think outside the box, only we need to translate that to "Think outside the ego." The box is always the ego and it will always attempt to keep us centered in it. It is these ego run-ins that clarify for us that without them, we'd either be self-proclaimed saints, all alone and thinking we wanted it that way, or mental recluses, all alone and thinking we wanted it that way. There is no God in either.
Thank you.
Now I've got Gertrude. More to the point, now I am resisting Gertrude. Again I am reminded of my mental struggles with my co-worker Nancy in 1986...and for the same reason; namely, she was wrong and I was right. I didn't get free of me until I sincerely thanked God for showing me she was not wrong, and I could be good with that.
The answer is always, always, always the same: short form, get over yourself. Long form, So if someone hurts you and you are sore, you are in the wrong, too.
Here's the gold in these ego struggles...with spiritual growth as our goal, we finally understand that this means we're doing it right. For it's only by coming face-to-face with our inner petty that we comprehend...or get a glimmer...that the real problem is our very own self. We continue the process of acceptance...accepting that humans will ever view life itself first through ego.
We need to remind our self often to think outside the box, only we need to translate that to "Think outside the ego." The box is always the ego and it will always attempt to keep us centered in it. It is these ego run-ins that clarify for us that without them, we'd either be self-proclaimed saints, all alone and thinking we wanted it that way, or mental recluses, all alone and thinking we wanted it that way. There is no God in either.
Thank you.
Monday, February 1, 2016
THE REASONING MIND BALKS
I am not a big reader of the Bible so accept this as my interpretation of the story of Peter walking on the water: Jesus assured Peter that he could walk on the water same as he, Jesus, did. After some promising and assuring and pushing and pleading, lo and behold, Peter walked on the water! Took about three steps, thought about it ("Holy moly, this is impossible...I think I am walking on water!")...and promptly sank.
There it is. The sinking stone of spiritual growth. The reason so many of us believe but don't do. We can believe what we're told or read or even experience. It is that we then think about it. And lose the whole thing because it does not make reasoning-mind sense.
That's the paradox of the reasoning mind. It is essential to have a fit and fairly well-honed reasoning mind if we're going to live successfully in this world. It is going beyond that mind...that mind that we've worked so hard to get "fit and fairly well-honed"...that sinks our spiritual progress, our up-rising so to speak.
We are told...repeatedly and in oh so many ways...that we must go beyond reason to love. We must go beyond our reasoning mind to get what we've already got!
"I believe, help me my unbelief" must needs become our mantra: I believe...my reasoning mind isn't balking yet. Help me...a higher power is needed here. My unbelief...but it'll balk in a millisecond without higher help.
I remind myself often that nonresistance is the key to successful living, and this is the starting point. Nonresistance to the spiritual growth we're seeking.
Resist not evil. -- Matthew 5:39 (And how's that for a reasoning-mind balker?)
Thank you.
"I believe, help me my unbelief" must needs become our mantra: I believe...my reasoning mind isn't balking yet. Help me...a higher power is needed here. My unbelief...but it'll balk in a millisecond without higher help.
I remind myself often that nonresistance is the key to successful living, and this is the starting point. Nonresistance to the spiritual growth we're seeking.
Resist not evil. -- Matthew 5:39 (And how's that for a reasoning-mind balker?)
Thank you.
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