A note I wrote in my "God Calling" in 1972 just gave me a blinding flash of the obvious. I was recovering from a broken romance back then, and I had written, "I sought human love, not God's."
As I read that this morning, I wondered if that might not be the source of all woes...we seek human love, not God's. Not just romantic love, but any other's love in the form of popularity, agreement, assurance from him, her, them that we are acceptable, right, worthy even. Always seeking outside, never believing our own good grows within us...is God, in fact.
The why is fairly obvious...we don't seek the answer in God because God's answer is that we must needs give that which we are seeking. Getting approval is a good feeling...a good temporary feeling. Like all imported good feelings, however, they of themselves demand more, better, deeper, higher...there is no enough.
I'm testing that even as I'm writing...I just rested in my memory of how I felt when I first realized God...and how that expanded and is still expanding and fills me with peace right this very minute. Then I recalled how I felt when I paid the last farthing to the IRS...and I felt GOOD. I smile at the memory, but it doesn't replicate itself, nor does it expand...it's just a pleasant fading memory.
That which we need most we already have...we just have to give it away to realize it.
Thank you.
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