In being a decent, no-frills person without malice or contempt, in general, for anyone, the mistake we often make is in trying to be patient, loving and kind to those who are not being patient, loving or kind to us.
It is in the trying that we act from our intellect not from our heart, and the other is free to translate that however it fits her...which is rarely good. Which justifies our pitching the whole attempt and reacting in kind to our interpretation of his interpretation...oh my.
We must needs be patient, loving and kind in our thoughts toward any and all those who are an irritant to our ego. Since we're not being beat with a broom, or worse, we know it is our ego that is active here. So, it is not him, it is not her, it is not them. "It is I, saith the Lord."
The fact is we must needs be patient, loving and kind in our thoughts toward all others, and we must needs begin the discipline before we get irritated and agitated...as in now. Now is the appropriate time.
Here's my exercise: I think of someone who is wrong, according to me, and putting that on me. I then thank God for thinking for me, for finding loving thoughts for her, for showing me how to ponder with kindness him being less than loving to me. I try to understand her point of view, not justify mine.
This is a long-time exercise; it is called discipline, but since I still am not enchanted with that word, exercise will do. At any rate, the great and glorious news is...it works. The better news is I say that from experience...hard won experience for which I give all credit to God and the surrender of my unworking will.
I don't go around talking this a lot because it is off-putting to some, and they want to debate it. I know it works for me so I don't debate. I just accept that it is not my message to carry, it is just my seed to plant.
Thank you.
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