Why would anyone, then, strive to be first?...in line, in school, in sports, in family, first in life itself? If it's just going to get us last place, why strive for first? On the other hand, who ever would strive to be last?...in anything worth striving for?
According to me, the answer is hidden in paradox, in the difference between going for the will of God in our life and going for a self-determined objective. The objectives may very well be the same thing, but if we are self-willing it, then our objective is our god, and we will get what we get...which is not God.
If we are truly open to seeking the will of God, we have no objective other than to do the will of God which is whatever presents itself in the moment.
We often hear, “Do the next right thing.” However, that word “right” moves us over into the self-determined column.
In seeking still more spiritual growth, we are seeking God period. We do the next thing before us with spiritual growth as our guide...and often come up wrong! There’s the paradox. We may come up wrong, but we’re on the right track. The secret is it may be wrong, or it may just feel wrong, but it advances us to where we are meant to be in our search for God.
Self-will keeps us right where we are. heading in the wrong direction, because we are still following our wants...and mentally making our wants prettier, more desirable. Harder from which to detach in fact.
I was given the following example which helped me in my realization of this: It is akin to trying to make a specific someone love you...the harder you try, the farther away that one moves from you. The minute you accept that you're not going to get your objective, you drop all attempts...and love moves into your life.
And there it is...grace, not a self-determined objective, but love itself, God.
Thank you.
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