OUR NEED IS GOD'S CALL

In the fourth century, St. Augustine said, “If you comprehend it, it’s not God,” which caused me to wonder if my pushing and preaching "thank you" as a cure-all isn't just my idea of God...my hopeful idea of God. Maybe my thank you is just my panacea to keep despair at bay.

How'd you like to wake up with that thought on your mind? It tells the tale of my mood earlier this morning. As I poured my coffee, I asked God when I'm ever going to have the feeling of him in my life. This is the same question I repeatedly asked in the early '70s until a friend said that he had the feeling of God in his life...had even spoken with God...had God speak directly to him...and every time it happened, he was in a straitjacket on his way to the insane asylum. Ba-da bing, ba-da boom. 

I am so grateful for humorous memories. It was that memory that turned my mood upward, and I could remind myself of the many...literally, countless...times God has shown itself in my life. I have experienced the wonder of God...it is my memory that is faulty. 

I then picked up my "God Calling" and my Eknath Easwaran daily reader, and...why am I still surprised?...their messages are direct answers to my squirrely thoughts. 

"God Calling" today is all about in our need is God's presence..."Your need is My Call."

Easwaran reminds us how to stay tuned, or to get back in tune: "Use your mantram...Aspirin works, but take plenty of mantrams too....one relieves fever in the body, the other, the fever of self-will." Ah, the fever of self-will...an excellent reminder that all our despairing, doubting, questioning God are simply self-will...refusing to give over to the fact of God.

I also must needs remember that I am in a period of grief right now. Just because my feelings do not have my departed friend's name on them, doesn't mean that I'm now grief-free. I need to remind myself of that...often.

My grief is God's Call.

Thank you.