LETTING GO OF WHAT I KNOW

[The following is a reprint of my blog of August 25, 2008.]

I know that seeking good, seeking peace, seeking to do the honorable thing are all acceptable, “the right stuff” so to speak.

Then I ponder a self-determined objective as opposed to God’s perfect objective…and I am reminded that seeking harmony is no better than seeking discord…it’s still a self-determined objective. For I have only my own idea of what harmony is, and whenever my wants bump up against your wants, my idea of harmony is usually getting you to agree with me…or, when I’m particularly spiritual in my own mind, letting you be right: Mouth agrees with you; mind thinks, “Oh, let it go;” ego says, “I’ll get you later.” And a resentment is born.

So the key, it seems, goes back to staying in the is-ness of now. Which sounds fanciful, but I am finding that it works when I remember to say “thank you” as whatever picture comes into my experience. And in that acceptance, I am open to doing what I need to do at the moment and letting it pass on by.

It is my old self-centered fear that is always in play…of not getting the respect due me or losing the respect I feel I've so rightly earned.

I realize anew that self-respect and self-centered fear cannot co-exist…respect is of God, fear is not. Like a hug, I cannot “get” it, I can only “give” it, at which point my own comes back to me.

Thank you.